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I can't stand this no more

256 replies

icantstandthis · 26/01/2025 01:43

Literally as the title says.

My husband thinks he's the bloody king of the universe. He's a bloody barrister not a world leader.

I am a qualified biomedical scientist but never worked in the field as Covid hit the year I qualified then I was pregnant twice so been out of the working world for a while. I'm not thick but Jesus Christ he tells me I am.

He apparently knows everything! I am always wrong.

Any opinion or idea I have on absolutely anything is wrong and he loves to tell me why. I've given up answering back and just say 'oh ok' and then his rants continue. This is on any topic from wall painting to current affairs. He even apparently knows more about women's makeup than I do and what looks good and what doesn't.

But do you know what really grates on me? It's the constant criticism and name calling.

The house will always be spotless when he comes home and he will say Why is this random wet item of clothing here on the stairs?.... it's obvious I've clearly taken the washing out the washing machine and dropped it and not realised. His response will always then be 'can't do anything right can you', 'fuck me your thick as they come' etc

Dinners not ready bang on 7pm when he walks in the door it will be 7:20pm. His response is 'how thick can you be, you know I get in at 7pm! Some of us work'.
Well tough cookies the children were messing about in the bath having fun so dinners a bit late

You get the jist

Do you know what's also fun about my husband is his damn paranoia. Any text message I get he reads and then questions me on it. Even messages from my mum which always end with his telling me whoever has text me is a psycho or a freak when my mum and or friends are all normal nice people.

Then he just pesters me for sex every single day! When I say no. He responds with 'I can't even stand the look of you'. Typical mind games

Arrgggghhhh I could scream.

What he doesn't know is thick little me has a new job lined up in May when my year maternity leave is over. What he also doesn't know is when my nan passed away in October she left me a decent amount to get a solid deposit down. What he also doesn't know is that I've spoken with my mum and she has said for me and the children to live with her for a few months once I start my new job and once I've been there long enough I can apply for a mortgage then so I will get one. What he also doesn't know is I'm divorcing his sorry ass but I'm playing it smart.

Just needed a rant

OP posts:
VotingForYourself · 26/01/2025 09:15

BrickBiscuit · 26/01/2025 09:13

The question will be did any siblings or cousins etc inherit and why didn't the OP, and so on. If the worst happens to mum, why did she disproportionately endow the OP? Or will her eventual 'gifts' to OP be an IHT liability? Ironically, being upfront would have probably been safer.

How long do you think mum has to survive for for it to be OK? Maybe use the money after then op

BlondeMamaToBe · 26/01/2025 09:15

I’m rooting for you!! Please keep us updated.

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 26/01/2025 09:16

💐

Itainteasy15 · 26/01/2025 09:17

Good luck! Please get advice from a DA charity though, they can give you good advice on how to get away from him safely. He sounds the sort that could turn very nasty when he realises you are definitely leaving.

VotingForYourself · 26/01/2025 09:18

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Her life is different to yours. That's ok

LivelyMintViper · 26/01/2025 09:19

Really cheering you on! Do start a thread when you leave so we can all enjoy his comeuppance! All the best x

BrickBiscuit · 26/01/2025 09:20

VotingForYourself · 26/01/2025 09:15

How long do you think mum has to survive for for it to be OK? Maybe use the money after then op

It's not only how long she survives, it's not disclosing the intent. If nan or mum have other descendants, disproportion can be questioned. My only specialism is knowing when to buy advice from those that are.

caramac04 · 26/01/2025 09:20

Well my darling your husband is an abusive c* but you are brilliant!
Well done on getting your ducks in a row and so pleased your mum is supportive.
Roll on the day you don’t have to listen to his shite anymore.
However, please please keep your plans very secret and when you leave please go while he’s at work.
NRTFT.

CucumberBagel · 26/01/2025 09:21

Why can't you live with your mum now?

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 26/01/2025 09:21

Op, you need to get yourself and yoyr children away from him. Plan your exit.

gamerchick · 26/01/2025 09:22

icantstandthis · 26/01/2025 02:19

I will. Thanks for mentioning that. The money that's for me is in my mums account so it's safe in the sense that it's technically hers as my nan verbally told her she wants me to have X amount. My mum won't let me down she can't wait for me to get away from him

Really glad to read that. He's going to be a worse cunt to you when he realises he's losing his target. Good luck OP, really glad you're getting out

Starfish1021 · 26/01/2025 09:27

It's brilliant to see your taking steps and so heartening. What a horrible man abusive man. Pregnancy often brings out the abuse so all this "why did you have kids with him" nonsense needs to stop. It's just victim blaming. I would be very careful with mic drop moments, just keep yourself and your children safe. There will be a thousand ways to tell him to feck off as you go forward.

heddy007 · 26/01/2025 09:27

BRAVO OP…. good on you girl, he sounds insufferable… honestly does he really not understand what an absolute twat he is being???
You deserve some appreciation and love… you have created and brought into this world 2 beautiful babies that are part of him, i think you know in your heart you are doing the best for your children moving forwards as you do not want them seeing how a so called partner/husband/loved one is ‘supposed’ to treat someone…
You are going to feel so bloody free and happy once you put all your plans into place, please keep us updated… wishing you and your loved ones a magnificent new future ❤️

BigAnne · 26/01/2025 09:28

@icantstandthis onwards and upwards.

thepariscrimefiles · 26/01/2025 09:35

Haroldwilson · 26/01/2025 07:32

This would be fraud

It wouldn't be fraud because the money was left to OP's mum and not OP. Her mum is going to give her some money to buy a house once the divorce is final.

Mielbee · 26/01/2025 09:36

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 26/01/2025 09:21

Op, you need to get yourself and yoyr children away from him. Plan your exit.

I know some people don't read the full thread or even OP's updates, but to not even read the end of the OP's first post...

BrickBiscuit · 26/01/2025 09:36

gamerchick · 26/01/2025 09:22

Really glad to read that. He's going to be a worse cunt to you when he realises he's losing his target. Good luck OP, really glad you're getting out

What you read might backfire. A straight inheritance banked separately would have been non-marital. But promises of future gifts from mum might be marital or disclosable income down the line.
[edit ... especially if you're dealing with a cunt who knows law]

YourHappyJadeEagle · 26/01/2025 09:37

What he doesn't know is thick little me has a new job lined up in May when my year maternity leave is over. What he also doesn't know is when my nan passed away in October she left me a decent amount to get a solid deposit down. What he also doesn't know is that I've spoken with my mum and she has said for me and the children to live with her for a few months once I start my new job and once I've been there long enough I can apply for a mortgage then so I will get one. What he also doesn't know is I'm divorcing his sorry ass but I'm playing it smart.

Well done. I also had to play the longish game but it was worth it. Never looked back. Make sure you take him to the cleaners for child support. And enjoy your new life.

zeibesaffron · 26/01/2025 09:38

I was so sad, upset and angry on your behalf reading the first part of your message OP - but that last paragraph- bloody brilliant- what an amazing woman you are!! Please keep us updated - and while I would never wish time away - roll on May!!! lots of luck and love to you!! ❤️❤️

katepilar · 26/01/2025 09:42

Good luck OP! Its uplifting to read you made the decision to leave and have a plan!
Hope you get advice from womens aid to navigate the break up.

Phthia · 26/01/2025 09:43

icantstandthis · 26/01/2025 01:50

No it's joint account but honestly I have come to bed tonight and kicked him on the sofa. I'm in my powerful era and truth be told all I'll do is open a new bank account. There's no money of mine in the account I work 1 day a week in a library before maternity leave so there's no money to take

No, half the money in that account is yours. He could not have earned it without you looking after his children and keeping his home going.

mouldygarlic · 26/01/2025 09:45

Do you know what's also fun about my husband is his damn paranoia. Any text message I get he reads and then questions me on it. Even messages from my mum which always end with his telling me whoever has text me is a psycho or a freak.

Are you not worried then that he will actually be reading this thread?

denhaag · 26/01/2025 09:45

Guavafish1 · 26/01/2025 02:11

make sure you get a solicitor advice first before you buy your own house. You might lose out.

Also try to record the abusive behaviour.

Good luck

I advise op to read up about recording before doing so.

mouldygarlic · 26/01/2025 09:46

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 26/01/2025 09:21

Op, you need to get yourself and yoyr children away from him. Plan your exit.

What?

Zonder · 26/01/2025 09:46

Brilliant! Go OP!

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