I can't stand this no more

[icantstandthis]

Literally as the title says.

My husband thinks he's the bloody king of the universe. He's a bloody barrister not a world leader.

I am a qualified biomedical scientist but never worked in the field as Covid hit the year I qualified then I was pregnant twice so been out of the working world for a while. I'm not thick but Jesus Christ he tells me I am.

He apparently knows everything! I am always wrong.

Any opinion or idea I have on absolutely anything is wrong and he loves to tell me why. I've given up answering back and just say 'oh ok' and then his rants continue. This is on any topic from wall painting to current affairs. He even apparently knows more about women's makeup than I do and what looks good and what doesn't.

But do you know what really grates on me? It's the constant criticism and name calling.

The house will always be spotless when he comes home and he will say Why is this random wet item of clothing here on the stairs?.... it's obvious I've clearly taken the washing out the washing machine and dropped it and not realised. His response will always then be 'can't do anything right can you', 'fuck me your thick as they come' etc

Dinners not ready bang on 7pm when he walks in the door it will be 7:20pm. His response is 'how thick can you be, you know I get in at 7pm! Some of us work'.
Well tough cookies the children were messing about in the bath having fun so dinners a bit late

You get the jist

Do you know what's also fun about my husband is his damn paranoia. Any text message I get he reads and then questions me on it. Even messages from my mum which always end with his telling me whoever has text me is a psycho or a freak when my mum and or friends are all normal nice people.

Then he just pesters me for sex every single day! When I say no. He responds with 'I can't even stand the look of you'. Typical mind games

Arrgggghhhh I could scream.

What he doesn't know is thick little me has a new job lined up in May when my year maternity leave is over. What he also doesn't know is when my nan passed away in October she left me a decent amount to get a solid deposit down. What he also doesn't know is that I've spoken with my mum and she has said for me and the children to live with her for a few months once I start my new job and once I've been there long enough I can apply for a mortgage then so I will get one. What he also doesn't know is I'm divorcing his sorry ass but I'm playing it smart.

Just needed a rant

It's not. The nan left the money to mum and verbally said to give OP x amount. It's mum's money.

I will. Thanks for mentioning that. The money that's for me is in my mums account so it's safe in the sense that it's technically hers as my nan verbally told her she wants me to have X amount. My mum won't let me down she can't wait for me to get away from him

Love this. The last paragraph of your op made me smile so much. Good for you op. Please can you come back and update for us in May?

I echo the others saying do nothing about or with your money until decree absolut and consent orders are finalised.

Brilliant, wishing you all the luck in the world. Update us when you're out and settled in your new job.

He's not going to react well when realisation dawns on him.

You must fight for half of what is rightfully yours OP - good luck . What an arsehole

Remember that his pension is likely to be worth as much or more than your house, and should be properly included in the financial reckoning.

Good luck OP.

Read the whole post

What?! You equate mental illness with nasty abusive bastard?

God grief.

Well done OP.

I presume you've also seen a solicitor but don't let that inheritance be handed over yet. Make sure you work out how much of the house you're entitled to.

On the day you go transfer half of any joint bank account into your personal account - it is yours and you are entitled to it.

Tbf there's no sign of that. Unkind, selfish verbally abusive partners aren't necessarily anything like that with their kids - it's usually flat out misogyny and thinking they've bought themselves a nice little house slave with their big fancy salary.

OP might actually be looking forward to her every other weekend off.

Be careful re the inheritance if are married but goodluck he sounds horrific

Have you not read her final paragraph where she says that she has a new job that he doesn't know about and that she is leaving him?

Ha ha ha! That made me laugh. Glad for that woman.

"I can't stand this no more" says the biomedical scientist... 🤔😂

So she has a job and doesn't need to ask him for anything post split. I think that's very sensible.

@icantstandthis please leave and go to your mum's as soon as possible, perhaps today. If you were my dd, I'd want you home and away from the excuse for a human being.

The other thing that strikes me is whether your DH is actually not doing very well at work and is taking it out on you. Perhaps he's on a losing streak? I married a barrister 35 years ago, at the beginning if his career (nice man). He was very rarely home at 7pm - more like 9pm or later. How much work is your DH getting and how often is he in court?

Get out. Good luck.

Well done OP. It thrills me no end to hear you are not only divorcing this twat and you’ve got plans for your future in place, but you're doing it all on the sly. Much kudos to you 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Why don’t you move in with your mum straight away instead of waiting until May? This is abuse and it can escalate quickly. Leave while you can and while you are feeling powerful.

Are you married? I hope you've got legal advice as your understanding of the finances might not be right. Just because you don't work doesn't mean you aren't entitled to money from the joint account and equally your mum's wishes might not entitle you to keep all your inheritance. But if he's a barrister I assume there is a bit of money around and as long as you get legal advice you'll be ok.

Is that really the only thing you have to say about this thread? Bloody hell. Is this honestly the person you want to be?

It doesn't even make sense- she's a biomedical scientist, not an English lecturer! Speaking in non-standard English is a measure of where you grew up, not your intelligence or ability to become a scientist.

Clearly not

On an Internet forum not in some sort of formal report. Get over it.

Indeed.

He sounds like an absolute twat and you sound like a legend. Would love to see the look on his face when you tell him his skivvy is off to make her own way in the world and doesn’t need his sorry arse!