What is the most miserable biscuit in existence?

[noblegiraffe]

DH and I are not eating sweet stuff for January and today he commented that he was so fed up with it he would even want to eat a really crap biscuit, so we were debating what that would be.

He reckoned the worst biscuit would be a Nice biscuit, but I think I would much rather eat one of those than a Garibaldi.

Is there a biscuit even more disappointing, that you would be less likely to accept an offer of than a Garibaldi biscuit?

I agree and would never refuse a biscuit. I am gobsmacked reading this. Bourbons, custard creams, Rich Tea, I love them all!

My absolute favourite is to bite off each end of a chocolate finger biscuit and suck the tea up through it. When the tea gets up it is cold but that’s the time, to eat it. It's magic!

They're Figs !

Ginger Nuts 🤮

Or a posh truffle / rosemary one.

Apart from that, there are no no bad biscuits

Agree with rich tea. It’s just such a lie. They are not in any way rich (and also I hate that word when it’s used about food, makes me irrationally angry). I once worked as a home help / care visitor and I had one elderly woman who would send me out to Budgens for rich tea biscuits. She’d be really happy when I arrived back with them too and be thrilled to have them with her tea. She had quite severe dementia and had no intention of changing her ways but I wished I could have introduced her to the amazing world of much nicer biscuits out there. I’m not even talking luxury cookies, just a hobnob would have blown her mind. I mean I’m glad they made her happy but bleugh. It also meant I had to eat them as she’d insist.

Also hate custard creams - nasty biscuit, but the “custard” doesn’t help as it’s too sweet and kind of unpleasantly cold. Bourbons are the best cheap/basic biscuits imo but still disappointing.

I quite like garibaldis, I like the way they’re kind of a bit like pastry. Even better in this respect are fig rolls. I wouldn’t actively buy them but I’d eat them.

Morning coffee biscuits. No point to them at all.

See I have to disagree

biscuits are far more enjoyable than many cakes that are all air and fancy frocks on top with no real flavour & dubious texture

unless you’re talking about a Dundee or a sticky ginger

Right, I was told this about chocolate fingers, except I was told to drink hot chocolate through one.

It was the most disappointing experience of my life in terms of anticipation versus actual outcome.

What I ended up with was a tiny amount of cold hot chocolate in my mouth and a chocolate finger that almost instantly disintegrated into the cup.

Never again.

Rich tea all the way. Dreadful things.

Garibaldi

In a place I worked at they had custard cream biscuits with different flavours inside. One of them was an orange flavoured and living on the edge as one does, I had one to accompany my cup of tea.
Not boring but utterly obnoxious and had this orange cream biscuit had been a person, it would have parked whilst being completed able bodied, in disabled parking spots. I can’t explain it any other way than saying this biscuit was quite offensive.

I love orange, the fruit, the juice, terrys chocolate and even the smell of that orange lush soap. But this biscuit was as assault on my sense of taste.

Whenever a great biscuit discussion arises I must warn others from the dread Orange cream.

Most biscuits TBH, it’s more the texture that is horrible. Biscuits need a hefty amount of chocolate on/ in them to make them acceptable!

Another vote for Rich Tea.

I was going to say Viennese whirls or those Viennese sandwich things. They both manage simultaneously to be too rich and too cardboardy

They are defendable staples, don’t understand the hate, at least they have flavour

Again, hate Garibaldi biscuits, fig rolls and Oreos! The golden Oreos were actually quite nice, but then I sickened myself off!
But my all time low, if they can be referred to as biscuits, are macarons. So beautifully coloured, but disappointing in taste and texture! I don't get the hype at all! Funnily enough, just 5 minutes before I saw this thread, my husband asked what I wanted from the shop! I said biscuits, either or rich tea, digestives, morning coffee, Nice biscuits, nah, bring me a selection! 😁
Oh and I hate chocolate chip cookies too! Either too rich and sludgy in your mouth or too hard and dry!
He's brought me dark chocolate digestives, a pack of both rich tea and Nice! Happy now! 😁

My kids quite like "dead fly biscuits" (Garibaldi). They ask for them in shops. "Mum, can we get the biscuits that have all the dead flies that people have swatted in them?".

I don’t mind most of the ones stated - I quite enjoy a plain biscuit to be fair. But really only to dunk in tea, not just to eat on its own.

Im with you though OP, wouldn’t thank you for a Garibaldi.

The crumbly texture is off-putting.

Totally agree, except I dip mine in coffee!

With a cup of tea, all of these are very palatable.

Bourbons are nice but I think if I had the choice between a bourbon and a custard cream, I'd go for the custard cream.

I had one of those chocolate custard creams from M&S as a treat and I thought it was a Bit Much.

100% pink wafers. Why are you taking up space in my biscuit tin when you're not even a biscuit?!

I agree Oreos are horrible but it’s somehow not as bad as they’re foreign and never featured in my childhood. The miserableness of rich tea, pink wafers etc is compounded by the associations, as PPs have said, depressing community centres or healthcare settings, weak squash, endless excruciatingly boring visits to ancient relatives, awful meetings etc.

Bourbon. Hateful, vile biscuit!

Rich tea. Or custard cream. Both pointless.