What is the most miserable biscuit in existence?

[noblegiraffe]

DH and I are not eating sweet stuff for January and today he commented that he was so fed up with it he would even want to eat a really crap biscuit, so we were debating what that would be.

He reckoned the worst biscuit would be a Nice biscuit, but I think I would much rather eat one of those than a Garibaldi.

Is there a biscuit even more disappointing, that you would be less likely to accept an offer of than a Garibaldi biscuit?

You made me laugh out loud thank you

I love a wee digestives, got to be mcvites though.
Pink wafers are the pits urgh. Like eating an a4 bit of paper. I like the ones with the mallow in the middle though, like air!
A rich tea is so bland but I like the smell.

As someone told me on another thread and i heartily agree, "I never met a biscuit i didnt like!" Yes, this is very much my problem. Incidentally i have never met a cake i didnt like either!

Well rich teas would be, being circular and all

Me too or a chocolate I didn’t like either!!

Bourbons are probably the worst, or pink wafers, or macarons as someone else mentioned, like eating cardboard with a bit of colour

I don't like biscuits and never eat them but the worst one IMO is a Nice biscuit. They should be renamed horrid biscuits.

Dry icecreams we call them!

and mikados are ‘fanny biscuits’

I like my biscuits to be ‘a bit much’ @noblegiraffe 😂

Are we talking stand alone biscuit or can we consider their compatibility with a cup of tea as a dunker?
I personally think a rich tea biscuit is a superb dunking biscuit but as a stand alone biscuit is very poor.
A fig roll on the other hand is a lovely biscuit in its own right but is a terrible dunker.
Overall, the worst is a malted milk though. It can’t even be saved by a tea dunking.

Rich tea except with butter. I don't understand the custard cream hate.

Hands down a Bourbon cream

Thanks to this thread I've just remembered jam mallows. Pretty to look at but not the most exciting to eat. They're still better than those wafer/mallow abominations that Slimming World are obsessed with because they're low syn. They're also low flavour, if you only have a limited number of syns/points/calories then at least use them on something that doesn't taste like a cardboard box filled with packing peanuts.

Bad biscuits:

Garibaldi
Fig Rolls
Vienesse Whirl
Nice

Good Biscuits:

Jammie Dodgers
Malted Milk
Bourbons
Custard Creams
Digestives (Plain, Choc, Caramel)
Rich Tea
Chocolate Hobnob
Maryland Cookies
Party Rings
Oreo
Jam and Cream Biscuits

I grew up thinking that Maryland cookies were quite fancy, more exotic than a custard cream because of the name. They're actually tiny, aren't they? Nothing to them.

I'm in the Rich Tea camp. Bland, boring biscuits. At least with a digestive you can butter it and eat it with cheese. Malted milk come in second place but they've got the malty flavour on their side. Any other biscuit has its pros and cons, but with the Rich Tea it's really just cons. A waste of calories.

I'm with you there. And they stick Oreo biscuits to decorate cakes (I was sent an otherwise delicious cake for my birthday which is why I know) or even in sundaes. What is it about Oreos that I'm missing here?

I can never remember what they were and nobody else knows when I've mentioned them. Back in the 70s, my mum used to buy these biscuits. They were in the same style as a Lincoln, with the bobbles, but they were coloured, but not brightly. Kind of dark ish off colour - reddy pink, mustard yellow, dull green. They were a tiny little bit salty, but with a background fruit flavour. I loved them, she bought them for a while and I never saw them again. I've trawled through sites about retro foods, never found them. I can still taste them now. They were lovely!

Another vote for Rich Tea

Party Rings! They're made of flipping steel. Hadn't had one for years but went to a Tom Allen gig where he did a skit including them which made me fancy one, so hunted them down in the supermarket and cracked a tooth on first bite!

Other than those, I am a biscuit trollop and happy to take in all your unwanted custard creams, nices, rich teas etc.

I love malted milk biscuits.
Also a fan of Nice biscuits and Rich Tea although probably haven’t bought either in a very long time.

Really don’t like Custard Creams or Bourbons and agree that Blue Ribands always taste stale.

I forgot Oreos. I don’t see the point of them.

Also, if we're supposed to call them Neeeece biscuits because that's how the place is pronounced, are we supposed call them Marry-lnd cookies?

Cocoa Rich Tea.

The only biscuits I've ever thrown away.

Who ever invented them needs locking up.

Rich tea

loathe custard creams and fig rolls - DH loves both