Comments to threads that make you go FFS

[Doctorwhew]

Op: I’m starting a new role where the dress code is business smart. I’ve only ever worn jeans and T-shirts in previous jobs. Help please
Comment: I’ve always wfh so only wear loungewear

Op: John Doe has died, that’s so sad.
Comment: I’ve never heard of John Doe

Op: Lunch ideas please. I’m unable to eat bread or legumes.
Many many comments: I have beans on toast. Lentil soup is my go to. I love pita & hummus. Just make a sandwich.

On and on and on 😩

"Christmas thread within Christmas section"

OP - just bought my first xmas present, what have you guys got so far"

Poster " for god sake its far to early why are you buying for xmas in march!!!"

ME - WHY ARE YOU ON THE CHRISTMAS THREAD!!!!

"Can you recommend a specific model of xyz type of appliance. It has to meet these requirements..."

"Argos"

or
"It was a mistake to do xyz because then this happened"
"You must be PERFECT to tell OP she made a mistake!"

and my all-time favourite
"Don't tell me what I can post on here"

When smug posters reply "What did they say when you asked them....?"
When they know full well that for whatever reason the OP hadn't confronted the situation.
Nasty, belittling, sanctimonious way to reply.

Or .....

Third post down decides to quote the OP in full, despite the fact that everyone reads the OP and they NEVER need to be quoted.

I have nothing useful to add, so I’ve just quoted the OP and commented “same”.

"Why did you have children with this loser?" - what's the OP supposed to do, get in a time machine?

One where people quote the whole lengthy opening post and then write one line that isn't even helpful.

“You sound like hard work OP”

No, they don’t - you’re just being a snarky dick.

Ditto to “do you suffer with low self esteem generally” and other pa attempts at a put down.

My 2 yr old daughter has a pain in her leg.

perhaps he’s broken his arm, how old is he?

OP “DH never helps with our 3 DC; he works late and expects me to do all cooking and cleaning despite the fact that I work full time and earn more”.

Poster “why did you have more than 1 DC with this useless man’

Obviously this is a fair point but of absolutely NO USE to the poor OP who has 3 living DC not 3 hypothetical DC!

OP : “Why won’t he marry me? I’m a SAHM and we live in a house in his sole name and I gave up my career and we have been together for 10 years and have 3 DC: I’d love to get marred but he said “it’s only a bit of paper’

Poster - ‘why did you have DC with him before you got married”

As above - the OP is where she is now, we can only support her to make smart financial decisions for herself and her DC from this point on.

“You do know that….” then goes on to make insufferably snarky point.

Ones like this:

OP: I offered to help pick up DC school friend after school mum broke her leg. It's no problem for me, I pick them both up, I cook DD and DD friend a quick tea of beans, egg and toast then take DD friend home. Now school mum MIL would like me to further collect DD cousin from other school which is 3 miles away. AIBU to think I am not running a free child minding business?

Pointless reply:
YABVU to feed DD and her friend beans on toast without consent from the school mum. Are the eggs organic and free range?

Thus ensues a massive derail about UPFs and what to feed DC after school😆

Where the poster has not bothered to read the OPs updates that contain key information so they keep repeating useless advice or questions!!

Two that make my teeth ache:

'Didn't want to read and run'. It's the internet- you are under no obligation and nobody cares

AND

'OP, don't listen to the other posters...', Just SO egotistical

There was one thread that, I kid you not, went into PAGES of one poster insisting eggs were poisonous and linking to random YouTube videos while hundreds of others calmly rebutted the batshit nonsense!

"Don't blame the OW, it's not her fault".

"My 60-year-old MIL is rude, controlling and nosey."
"Could it be early onset dementia?"

I read somebody the other day who had quoted herself, and then told the OP to ignore all the other posters because her post was the best one! (It wasn’t, it said exactly the same as the other 15 pages of comments).

Apparently genuine poster as well 🤣

Yep this - I just saw a thread where the OP had put the ages of the DC in their first sentence.

First reply: "How old are they OP?"

Anything that twists the tale in order to have a go at the OP.
'he punched me*
"Well op, why were you standing near his fist?"

Just fuck the fuck off. I mean, this is or more or less every thread and I don't know why I still bother reading most days!

Poster: creates entire post with a tiny spelling mistake.

Smart arse MNetter replies: I think you'll find it's actually spelt X, not Y.
And that's their only contribution to the thread. Are their lives really that empty that's how they get their kicks (admittedly I am dyslexic so it's a bit of a sensitive area).

Poster: I have 2 children and two bedrooms anyone have any space saving tips?

Reply: Have you thought about extending into your garden?

Poster: I don't have a garden unfortunately as we live in flat.

Next 300 replies: have you thought about extending into your garden op?

After some sort of relationship/friendship upset where the poster needs some feedback/advice:
’Why don’t you just go and ask them instead of posting on an anonymous public forum?’
Surely if each poster did that there would be no MN?
And why bother replying with that anyway?
Mind-boggling!

Well at least the constant suggestions of a spa day as the answer to all of life's problems have died down.

To be fair to that poster, if it’s the thread I’m thinking of, the OP edited their OP to add the ages after being asked. But those who opened the thread afterwards wouldn’t have known so then there was lots of back and forth about it!