Comments to threads that make you go FFS

[Doctorwhew]

Op: I’m starting a new role where the dress code is business smart. I’ve only ever worn jeans and T-shirts in previous jobs. Help please
Comment: I’ve always wfh so only wear loungewear

Op: John Doe has died, that’s so sad.
Comment: I’ve never heard of John Doe

Op: Lunch ideas please. I’m unable to eat bread or legumes.
Many many comments: I have beans on toast. Lentil soup is my go to. I love pita & hummus. Just make a sandwich.

On and on and on 😩

This and I think in the same sort of vibe…

OP: I told my mum I was pregnant and she didn’t say congratulations. AIBU to be disappointed?
Reply: YABVU. Sorry to say but nobody except you cares about your pregnancy.

what?!

The ones that spectacularly miss the point.

OP Help I was making my son a bacon sandwich and I splashed hot oil on my cotton trousers, any tips for getting it out?

First post: why on earth are you making your son bacon sandwiches?

"Someone will be along in a minute to say..."

=

"Nobody has said anything I can argue with/take offence at so I'm going to make something up and tell a hypothetical future poster why they are wrong."

It’s a personal thing but the FFS moments for me it’s the ridiculous overuse of catastrophic language to over make a point.

“I was heartbroken when my kid fell down”
”I was devastated my kid lost their jumper”

etc etc.

I tend to lose sympathy for the exaggerated language and emotion.

Anything financial, always a ‘I lived in a cardboard box in the middle of the road’ scenario, usually of no relevance to the OP.

OP: “I earn £60k - can I still claim child benefit and tax free childcare?”

R1; ‘I’d love to have £60k, I survive on the state pension”

R2: ‘I’m a single mum on minimum wage, I think it’s disgusting you’d try to claim free hours. I get 85% of my childcare bill paid - but I need it”.

R3: “We didn’t have tax free childcare when my children were small. And our mortgage was 17%”

R4: “You shouldn’t be entitled to any benefits, I live alone in a mortgage-free house on £22k a year and I’m perfectly comfortable. Don’t have children if you can’t afford them”

Ad Infinitum.

Or the opposite happens...
OP: I received a promotion and big pay rise and want to update my wardrobe to suit my new role. It's very corporate. I'd really like some quality items that will last a long time and I'm happy to pay a bit more for that. Any suggestions on brands to look at?

Replies: Have you tried Tesco, Asda or Boohoo? I got some lovely bits last month and they still look OK after 6 wears!

Oh and massive overreactions to anything DH related.

OP: ‘I’m 28 weeks pregnant and my DH wants to go to Liverpool to see a football match with his friends. AIBU to say no?”

R1: LTB!!!!

R2: Imagine what he will be like when the baby gets here if he’s doing this now

R3: Does he always prioritise his friends above you?

R4: Might he be having an affair?

R5: You need to cut contact before he has opportunity to cause lasting psychological damage to your child

R6: I actually went into Labour at 28 weeks pregnant so I would advise he is no more than ten mins away from 20 weeks onward

etc etc

Yes, those are brutal! Sometimes, there is no way the OP looks over 35 but a few posters are determined to pretend they look over 60.

Ay thread where a poster is roundly told off for some tiny misunderstanding by another poster who doesn't explain what they said is so wrong, and instead instructs them to 'Go educate yourself'.

Or when the first comment is "What does x stand for?" It doesn't matter if the OP immediately explains, or if someone else helpfully replies and the commenter thanks them. Subsequent posters must keep explaining, even weeks after the thread was started.

OP: "I want to look more X. Please can you give me tips on clothes, grooming, styling etc?"

Replies:

"You shouldn't want to change the way you look! Just be YOU! I wear a giraffe suit at all times because that's what expresses my personality. People love my look."

"Why would you want to look more X? People who look like that are always terrible and I could never be friends with one of them. I despise them to the very core of my being."

OP: I’m a bit concerned about DS’s handwriting. What age child would you think wrote this? It’s an extract from an essay about the Tolpuddle Martyrs.

Reply: 4

But olympics are my fave. The ott ones.

Like made up example:
"I think eveveryone should have a plant home. They are so great😁"
"BUT WHAT ABOUT PEOPLE WHO HAVE PHOBIA OF PLANTPOTS. Are you always abelist like this?"

Real example:
My favourite was on budget food discussion long time ago when legumes entered the chat and people suggested that soaking them considerably reduces cooking time so makes them more affordable.
" But who has time to soak them?! "

Oh, I quite like didn’t want to read and run! I see it as something nice, a shorthand way of saying, ‘I have no advice but I’m sorry you’re in this situation…’ I fully appreciate it’s not actively helpful though!
I’ve never actually posted it but contemplated it last night, funnily enough. No one had replied to the OP at the time, and it was a sad post (although I’ve already forgotten what it was about — argh), so I thought it would also bump it… Can’t remember why I didn’t do it in the end!

People who respond to an OP who is upset with something their partner did with “leave him now! He will never change”. It’s a massive decision being made to sound dead easy. Also maybe suggest couples therapy first.

This actually made me laugh!

When a poster asks advice on their/their children's minor illness and several posters reply telling them to call an ambulance because it's probably sepsis. Then when they go to hospital and get sent home, more replies telling them they should refuse to move.

My DH/dc/sister/mother/friend behaves in x manner.”

“Are they on the spectrum?”

”I saw someone outside my house this morning who I don’t recognise”.
“Better log it with 101.”

(Genuine thread), “would I be unreasonable to say my three year old isn’t three yet to get into a theme park? Otherwise I have to pay the adult cost?”

”Yabvu, do you not realise that this is the road to your three year old becoming a criminal? If you let him do this he will likely be in jail before he’s 18.”

I agree, wouldn't be my choice of words but it's a way of showing support without having a solution. Sometimes that's really appreciated

Thread about something trivial and nostalgic.

OP who was your favourite band in the 80s/90s?

Flood of replies: Take That/Bros/Boyzone/Duran Duran.

Poster: Oh Christ I've never listened to pop music, even in my teens I could see it was all rubbish and beneath me. I used to only listen to indie stuff/the chanting of Himalayan monks.

Or even at Christmas there were loads of us watching Gavin and Stacey and some people had waltz in to let us know they'd never seen it before and were glad because it looks crap.

Any post including the phrase 'walked a mile in their shoes'. It's not that it's a terrible thing but the whole point of any Internet forum is that it's people commenting on experiences they haven't personally had. Stop the sanctimonious gatekeeping.

I was about to say similar. Large threads where hundreds of people make the same comment which has been answered/commented on already by the OP. It doesn't occur to them that someone may have already had the same thought as them.

On another thread I just saw another one I always find strange.

OP has posted about something and gets a range of responses, perhaps mixed between agreeing/disagreeing but all thoughtful, polite, mild comments. Then there's always one poster who will latch onto ONE of these perfectly innocuous comments and get weirdly aggressive. eg

OP: I'm going out for dinner with friends next week but I can't quite work out the logistics. DH will be home, at best, 20 minutes before I have to leave, 5 if he misses the train. I could order a cab but that adds to the expense and if he's on time, I can walk but if I don't order a cab in advance, even if I'm willing to take the hit on finances, I won't get one in time.

POster 1: I'd order the cab. Yes, it's annoying if you have to pay when you don't need to but you can at least get ready stressfree.
Poster 2: I'd just let my friends know I might be late - I hate paying for a cab unless I absolutely have to.
Poster 3: Is there anyway DH can give you enough notice thathe's 'not going to make the earlier train so that you can book the cab then?
Weirdly aggressive poster in response to Poster 3, "OP said there isn't enough time? Why do you think she's even posting if she's actually got time? How is this helpful? Why don't you just leave the thread ifyou can't offer useful suggestions. DO you think she just hasn't thought of this?"

And if poster 3 dares to respond it goes on and on.

I saw one earlier this week where a poster made a small mistake. Was challenged. Clarified her position and acknowledged she'd worded it badly. Butshe was being HOUNDED by someone who wanted her to "admit you were wrong".

WEIRD.

Any of the "is it just me?" posts.
Is it just me who finds London really boring?
Is it just me who doesn't like Gavin and Stacey?
Is it just me who thinks McDonalds for dinner every night is a bit unhealthy?

On any thread about food, dieting, portions, weight, etc: “I’m sure the Mumsnet teeny tinies will be along any minute to say… (insert nonsense)” or “The MN competitive undereaters… (more nonsense).”

Inevitably followed by pages of the exact opposite as there are always far more posts on MN about competitive overeating, boasting about eating two large pizzas and the like. 😂