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Herpes Medication found in my husbands bag

740 replies

countrysidefields · 13/01/2025 16:10

I have just found empty packets of tablets from an online pharmacy box dated 17th dec 2024 for anciclovir in my husbands laptop bag.
All the empty packets and packing was also in the box, like it was hidden in there.
When I googled that medication it's used for genital herpes. He doesn't and never has had cold sores.
I am obviously thinking the worst seeing how it was hidden away. Please don't judge me, I wasn't actually looking on purposes, I happened to come across it.
Am I right to be assuming the worst?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
8
MarSeaLane · 14/01/2025 10:05

Alleycat50 · 13/01/2025 20:55

Never having a cold sore does not mean you don’t have herpes. Never believe anyone who tells you this.

Honestly, he has cheated and contracted genital herpes. You need a full STI test not just for herpes. One night away a month is an ideal opportunity to hook up with escorts.

Edited

I had a renewed faith in the advice by MN PP’s on this thread.

Sensible, measured, a range of experiences and knowledge…then read your post.

What a dangerous post to write to advise someone at a vulnerable time, when you really do not know.

Maddy70 · 14/01/2025 10:26

JoanCollinsDiva · 14/01/2025 10:01

Can I ask why you don't just use the over the counter cream instead of taking tablets? You can buy it in boots etc and dh usually only has to use it for a day or two when he feels the tingle and it never appears. Surely that's much better than ingesting tablets?

The tablets are much faster acting and if you get repeated bouts they prevents an outbreak from happening, they also prevent the virus transferring to another

Pickledpeanuts · 14/01/2025 10:43

JoanCollinsDiva · 14/01/2025 09:57

Also, if it was a simple cold sore on the lip surely he would buy the cream over the counter, that's what dh does? You don't need a prescription. Why go to that trouble of filling in online forms and taking a course of medication for a cold sore?

It doesnt add up.

I don't use the cream. The pills act faster for me, can still be used after the original tingle (or if you don't get a tingle, for me it mostly comes after a period where my lips feel dry and tight) and feels cleaner to use - I'm not touching the sight of a sore multiple times a day, risking spreading it elsewhere.
It also means you can pop a coldsore patch over it, rather than a white cream so feels more indiscreet.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

PlopSofa · 14/01/2025 10:47

MarSeaLane · 14/01/2025 10:05

I had a renewed faith in the advice by MN PP’s on this thread.

Sensible, measured, a range of experiences and knowledge…then read your post.

What a dangerous post to write to advise someone at a vulnerable time, when you really do not know.

I wish i could be so confident.

nine times out of ten the man has cheated… you see it on here day in day out, year in year out In Relationships.

thered be no sex work industry at all if we all thought along your lines - which would be nice!

the fact that most prostitutes are female tells us the lie of the land, not to mention the violent porn out there that no woman could possibly find a turn on.

A lot of men will take a chance if sex is on offer. No doubt about it.

bigkidatheart · 14/01/2025 10:50

This was a massive issue for me years ago. BF found medication packets in my car and in the garage. I used to get cold sores to the point i could feel them coming for days before, pain down my face and then they would be huge and last for weeks. I was given these tablets to take as soon as symptoms started and had them on repeat. BF googled it and came up with GH. Caused a massive row.

You need to ask him what they are for.

Maddy70 · 14/01/2025 11:06

PlopSofa · 14/01/2025 10:47

I wish i could be so confident.

nine times out of ten the man has cheated… you see it on here day in day out, year in year out In Relationships.

thered be no sex work industry at all if we all thought along your lines - which would be nice!

the fact that most prostitutes are female tells us the lie of the land, not to mention the violent porn out there that no woman could possibly find a turn on.

A lot of men will take a chance if sex is on offer. No doubt about it.

And another leap...why do you assume he's been with a sex worker? 1 in 5 people have it. Think about that

Cornecopia · 14/01/2025 12:15

countrysidefields · 14/01/2025 08:36

Thanks again for all the messages. I am at work today and am taking the time to think this all through but we will have time tonight when we are on our own so I plan to talk to him then to find out what's going on.

Not much of an update just didn't want to not reply again after all the new posts. Thanks for all your kind words

Good luck op, it’s probably nothing ❤️ you have more restraint than me, I’d of gone and asked him straight away

Rosscameasdoody · 14/01/2025 12:28

Hollietree · 13/01/2025 20:03

Do you honestly think it ok for someone to hide for 25 years that they have genital herpes from their sexual partner / their spouse? That’s just as bad as cheating to me.

He may not even have known he had it if there have been no previous flare ups.

NCforsensitivity · 14/01/2025 13:15

Hi OP - as a sufferer who take aciclovir, I just wanted to add a couple of things to the thread.

From the WHO site: "An estimated 3.8 billion people under age 50 (64%) globally have herpes simplex virus type 1 (HSV-1) infection, the main cause of oral herpes. An estimated 520 million people aged 15–49 (13%) worldwide have herpes simplex virus type 2 (HSV-2) infection, the main cause of genital herpes."

Both strains of the virus can cause coldsores and/or genital sores, it is just that 1 is more likely to recur on the mouth, and 2 is more likely to recur on the genitals.

The younger a person is when they contract the virus (excepting newborns and babies for whom it can be very dangerous) the more antibodies they will build up, therefore reducing the likelihood of recurring outbreaks. This is why some kids who had coldsores rarely/never get them as adults.

I also read that only 25% of people who contract the virus show symptoms (can't remember where, NHS Choices is a good source of info). The most definitive test is a blood test for antibodies, but this cannot tell you where/when/from whom you contracted the virus.

Between outbreaks (if one has them) herpes lays dormant in the spinal column, in the nerve that it originally infected. This is why it is recurrent in the same spots for sufferers with ourbreaks.

Aciclovir can be taken to manage active outbreaks, or as a supression therapy (although I think this is usually in the early days after diagnosis and limited to 6 months).

He might also have used an online pharmacy for this specific medication because it is downright embarrassing to go to a doctor or to stand in a pharmacy and effectively tell a stranger "I have genital herpes".

You are clearly thinking this through before talking to your DH, but FWIW, a herpes outbreak alone does not indicate that your DH has been unfaithful.

However, I would have questions about how long he's had it, how long he's known, and if he knows where/how he got it. There is nothing wrong with carrying a virus, but there is absolutely something wrong with not informing your intimate partner about a diagnosis that could impact their sexual health.

Bertgotkinky · 14/01/2025 13:24

Alleycat50 · 13/01/2025 20:55

Never having a cold sore does not mean you don’t have herpes. Never believe anyone who tells you this.

Honestly, he has cheated and contracted genital herpes. You need a full STI test not just for herpes. One night away a month is an ideal opportunity to hook up with escorts.

Edited

Oh the irony coming from someone who calls herself “Alleycat”. You are talking utter garbage. Who the hell do you think you are to say this man has cheated? Do you actually know anything about the Herpes virus? What a vile piece of work you are to make such an accusation. This lady is going through a traumatic time and you are adding fuel to the fire. The virus can lay dormant for years he may well have had it way before he married his wife. Get a life and stop spreading your BS do your research before commenting on something you clearly no nothing about.

Bertgotkinky · 14/01/2025 13:28

NCforsensitivity · 14/01/2025 13:15

Hi OP - as a sufferer who take aciclovir, I just wanted to add a couple of things to the thread.

From the WHO site: "An estimated 3.8 billion people under age 50 (64%) globally have herpes simplex virus type 1 (HSV-1) infection, the main cause of oral herpes. An estimated 520 million people aged 15–49 (13%) worldwide have herpes simplex virus type 2 (HSV-2) infection, the main cause of genital herpes."

Both strains of the virus can cause coldsores and/or genital sores, it is just that 1 is more likely to recur on the mouth, and 2 is more likely to recur on the genitals.

The younger a person is when they contract the virus (excepting newborns and babies for whom it can be very dangerous) the more antibodies they will build up, therefore reducing the likelihood of recurring outbreaks. This is why some kids who had coldsores rarely/never get them as adults.

I also read that only 25% of people who contract the virus show symptoms (can't remember where, NHS Choices is a good source of info). The most definitive test is a blood test for antibodies, but this cannot tell you where/when/from whom you contracted the virus.

Between outbreaks (if one has them) herpes lays dormant in the spinal column, in the nerve that it originally infected. This is why it is recurrent in the same spots for sufferers with ourbreaks.

Aciclovir can be taken to manage active outbreaks, or as a supression therapy (although I think this is usually in the early days after diagnosis and limited to 6 months).

He might also have used an online pharmacy for this specific medication because it is downright embarrassing to go to a doctor or to stand in a pharmacy and effectively tell a stranger "I have genital herpes".

You are clearly thinking this through before talking to your DH, but FWIW, a herpes outbreak alone does not indicate that your DH has been unfaithful.

However, I would have questions about how long he's had it, how long he's known, and if he knows where/how he got it. There is nothing wrong with carrying a virus, but there is absolutely something wrong with not informing your intimate partner about a diagnosis that could impact their sexual health.

What an excellent and informative post.

ThickAsAPlank · 14/01/2025 13:35

Bertgotkinky · 14/01/2025 13:24

Oh the irony coming from someone who calls herself “Alleycat”. You are talking utter garbage. Who the hell do you think you are to say this man has cheated? Do you actually know anything about the Herpes virus? What a vile piece of work you are to make such an accusation. This lady is going through a traumatic time and you are adding fuel to the fire. The virus can lay dormant for years he may well have had it way before he married his wife. Get a life and stop spreading your BS do your research before commenting on something you clearly no nothing about.

Gosh. Projecting much?

countrysidefields · 14/01/2025 13:38

NCforsensitivity · 14/01/2025 13:15

Hi OP - as a sufferer who take aciclovir, I just wanted to add a couple of things to the thread.

From the WHO site: "An estimated 3.8 billion people under age 50 (64%) globally have herpes simplex virus type 1 (HSV-1) infection, the main cause of oral herpes. An estimated 520 million people aged 15–49 (13%) worldwide have herpes simplex virus type 2 (HSV-2) infection, the main cause of genital herpes."

Both strains of the virus can cause coldsores and/or genital sores, it is just that 1 is more likely to recur on the mouth, and 2 is more likely to recur on the genitals.

The younger a person is when they contract the virus (excepting newborns and babies for whom it can be very dangerous) the more antibodies they will build up, therefore reducing the likelihood of recurring outbreaks. This is why some kids who had coldsores rarely/never get them as adults.

I also read that only 25% of people who contract the virus show symptoms (can't remember where, NHS Choices is a good source of info). The most definitive test is a blood test for antibodies, but this cannot tell you where/when/from whom you contracted the virus.

Between outbreaks (if one has them) herpes lays dormant in the spinal column, in the nerve that it originally infected. This is why it is recurrent in the same spots for sufferers with ourbreaks.

Aciclovir can be taken to manage active outbreaks, or as a supression therapy (although I think this is usually in the early days after diagnosis and limited to 6 months).

He might also have used an online pharmacy for this specific medication because it is downright embarrassing to go to a doctor or to stand in a pharmacy and effectively tell a stranger "I have genital herpes".

You are clearly thinking this through before talking to your DH, but FWIW, a herpes outbreak alone does not indicate that your DH has been unfaithful.

However, I would have questions about how long he's had it, how long he's known, and if he knows where/how he got it. There is nothing wrong with carrying a virus, but there is absolutely something wrong with not informing your intimate partner about a diagnosis that could impact their sexual health.

Thank you very much for your kind and informative post, you raise some good points. Thanks for taking the time to post this for me

OP posts:
SadlySally · 14/01/2025 13:41

People here have far too much faith. DH just so happens to have stopped having sex with OP around the same time they are secretly taking herpes medication. Regularly does working away which requires a nights stay at a hotel/similar.

“But he might have had shingles and just completely forgot to mention it!”

Lord help us. I’m sorry OP but you have to seriously consider the most realistic outcome.

Kimsey1509 · 14/01/2025 14:06

Do you have children OP, sorry if someone already asked. Could he be covering for someone else? I’m trying to find positives for why he has the empty boxes. Of course until you talk to him you are second guessing yourself. Hoping for the best for you OP. Take care 🫂

WoolySnail · 14/01/2025 14:10

SadlySally · 14/01/2025 13:41

People here have far too much faith. DH just so happens to have stopped having sex with OP around the same time they are secretly taking herpes medication. Regularly does working away which requires a nights stay at a hotel/similar.

“But he might have had shingles and just completely forgot to mention it!”

Lord help us. I’m sorry OP but you have to seriously consider the most realistic outcome.

Nope, we are just hoping against all hope for OP that there is an innocent explanation.

JoanCollinsDiva · 14/01/2025 14:16

WoolySnail · 14/01/2025 14:10

Nope, we are just hoping against all hope for OP that there is an innocent explanation.

The problem here is that he's likely to come up with an "innocent explanation" anyway.

Do you have children OP, sorry if someone already asked. Could he be covering for someone else?

Some of these excuses are just stretch armstrong levels of reaching!

Unfortunately when you're a bit older and have been around the block (and been on MN a while) you realise that a hell of a lot of men cheat. Especially ones who work away and withhold sex 🤷‍♀️

As I said earlier, if it quacks like a duck, Occam's razor and all that.

OP would do well to keep her counsel and do a bit of snooping imo.

Is he cagey with his phone OP? Have you ever had reason to think he's cheating in the past?

WickWood · 14/01/2025 14:23

Sorry OP, it's not looking good. I really hope he is at least honest with you x

NovemberMorn · 14/01/2025 14:24

I would think if you have been with a man 20 plus years, as the OP has, she will know if he is lying or not, but however she handles it, and whatever the outcome, I truly wish her all the best.

PlopSofa · 14/01/2025 16:25

Just get ready for outright denial OP. And fury. That’s what most men do and become when they’re found out. They go ballistic and deny deny deny.

And then eventually they confess because they know you know and they realise it’s pointless to keep pretending when it’s so obvious what has been going on.

im sorry OP for the horrible shock. I also really do wish you all the best and hope you’re one of the lucky ones.

Imaginehigher · 14/01/2025 17:37

I was given these when a member of staff I work closely with got shingles as a precaution. He might not have wanted to frak you out that he was possibly bringing it home.

A conversation needs to be had. A hard one I know but only he has answers we have guesses.

Mumof3confused · 14/01/2025 17:38

I’d also think it’s very odd to keep it secret. Hope he has a reasonable explanation for you.

GreensAreGoodForYou · 14/01/2025 17:46

countrysidefields · 13/01/2025 16:10

I have just found empty packets of tablets from an online pharmacy box dated 17th dec 2024 for anciclovir in my husbands laptop bag.
All the empty packets and packing was also in the box, like it was hidden in there.
When I googled that medication it's used for genital herpes. He doesn't and never has had cold sores.
I am obviously thinking the worst seeing how it was hidden away. Please don't judge me, I wasn't actually looking on purposes, I happened to come across it.
Am I right to be assuming the worst?

Random thought - do you have teen/young adult kids? Could it be for one of them via him?

RoxyS777 · 14/01/2025 17:46

I use that for cold sores and even when I don't have them I use it as a preventative measure. I'd imagine you'd know that about him after being married for some time so a sudden appearance of the meds feels off. Honestly I think all you can do is show and ask him and see where that takes you

fairytailcat · 14/01/2025 17:48

I dont think a blood test is going to help you

Genital herpes can only be diagnosed by swabbing a sore

You will only solve this mystery by chatting to your husband