Herpes Medication found in my husbands bag

[countrysidefields]

I have just found empty packets of tablets from an online pharmacy box dated 17th dec 2024 for anciclovir in my husbands laptop bag.
All the empty packets and packing was also in the box, like it was hidden in there.
When I googled that medication it's used for genital herpes. He doesn't and never has had cold sores.
I am obviously thinking the worst seeing how it was hidden away. Please don't judge me, I wasn't actually looking on purposes, I happened to come across it.
Am I right to be assuming the worst?

I agree you are right to be suspicious.

If it’s medication for anything other than genital herpes, why all the secrecy?

45 tablets seems a lot, I've always been prescribed a week's worth which is 21 tablets max, the only time I was given more than that was in pregnancy when I had to take it to prevent a flare up. Could it be something he's had since teens and been too embarrassed to tell you about?

The doses will be different depending on what it’s prescribed for.

That would also explain the secrecy. If I found out today for the first time I had Genital Herpies I'm not sure I'd be telling my partner because that might leave me with some explaining to do. I might just be embarrassed.

So entirely possible he caught this as a teenager and recently woke up with it out of the blue and, despite being innocent, still doesn't want to tell his wife.

In fact, the more I think about it the more I think secrecy would be quite a natural approach in this situation.

Well yes... On the other hand if you woke up tomorrow to find you had it, would you be racing to your husband with "Darling, guess what I have genital herpes, but don't worry it's from before I met you."

The temptation to quietly treat it and say nothing is pretty strong, even if you know you've been faithful.

You can order I from superdrug to have as a "just in case"

Sounds very dodgy. Sorry to say. I wish you the best in sorting it out.

I'm sure you would know if you had it already.
There was a post from a woman on here a couple of years ago, and she was in absolute agony from a one night stand with a man who had given her genital herpes.

I have had shingles, and the pain I'd heard was bad, but until I'd developed it , I had no idea..It was during the deepest, loneliest lockdown days, living alone {son a mile up the road} and the pain was indescribable.

{one cannot 'catch' shingles, the virus is in one's body from having caught chicken pox, usually as a child, where it lies dormant waiting for an opportune moment to erupt in small patches of scarlet bumpy lumps, that form into fluid filled blisters.

It feels like a deep gnawing ache, plus a scald, sunburn and wasp stings all rilled into one.
It is inescapable.

I have heard genital herpes is very painful, too, so I'm sure you'd know.

Really hope you haven't got it

My latest smear test tested for HPV - it was clear, showing I'd not been exposed to it, thankfully. {once had an unfaithful partner}.

OP, have you considered trying to initiate sex with him? Hear me out….Obviously do not go through with it! But pay attention to his reaction. I think based on what we’ve read, he will likely not be up for it. As you say you have been in a rut, he might deafult to a standard excuse and you can use this as an opportunity to talk about your sex life and see where this conversation leads. How he handles this could be telling, or he may open up if theres something else going on he feels encouraged to (finally!) share….

I have no idea what they are for.

However, I have the herpes virus which appears on my back. It's rarely a problem and I can go for years without it.

A few years ago it appeared on my cornea. That was a medical emergency and I needed A&E treatment, steroids and anti-virals.

I have taken prescription AVs when travelling since then, just as a precaution.

I had no idea I could get them without from Superdrug!

It doesn't explain the secrecy but he might have them for all sorts of reasons. You won't know until you ask.

Can you not ask him to log in to his Superdrug account so you can see it yourself? Or do you know his email/ password that would be used? I'm just wondering as more often than not, men do not admit to these things and will lie until they are blue in the face.

I have been prescribed this for both shingles and cold sore recurrence.

Good luck OP

Check his phone before you confront him.

Make sure to look through his messages in all apps, as well as his emails, photos, notification history, and check the sent and deleted folders too.

Hopefully, it's nothing sinister 😕

Shingles isn't the type of thing someone wouldn't tell their other half about. It's a painful, quite nasty condition and most likely you'd know about it.

The more common oral cold sore is something people would approach their local chemist about and get some kind of gel in a tube, not a medicine like this surely, and again, wouldn't he have mentioned it at some point?

If It was something he desperately wanted to hide surely he would have got rid of the packaging by now?

Oh bless you. I unfortunately caught them when I was at university in 2008! I rarely have a flare - up but it can happen. I was too embarrassed to tell my other - half for a very long - time as I felt so much shame. Definitely, ask your husband but don’t worry too much as I’m sure it’s something that he has felt he could keep from you as it is embarrassing and flare - ups aren’t consistent when you’ve had it for a long time.

Good luck op.

Dreadful feeling.

Aciclovir is an antiviral medication. It is prescribed for a whole host of conditions including HSV (herpes simplex virus), shingles and even encephalitis.

Superdrug online will prescribe it directly to patients in cases of cold sores or genital herpes. You don’t need to upload a photo of the sores, just answer some questions about symptoms. You can usually collect the drug 24 hours later. You can buy packets of 15, 30, 45 or 168 tablets.

Your DH may have a history of HSV which he hasn’t disclosed to you, in which case the drug could be for a regular flare up. This seems unlikely given how long you’ve been together.

Alternatively, he could be taking a prophylactic dose as a preventative measure because he either anticipates being in a position where he might catch the virus or pass the virus to someone else.

Against a background of no marital sex, my money is on the latter. Sorry OP I think he’s attempting to mitigate the risk of catching herpes from sex with someone else.

You need to talk to your DH.

If he won't engage in an open conversation then consider your options!

If it is genital herpes you need to know so you can get checked at your local sexual health clinic! Tell him this that by keeping it a secret he's putting you at risk!

Obviously, if he's been unfaithful it is a different conversation but a genital herpes diagnosis if that's what he has, doesn't automatically mean he's been sleeping about.

Hoping for the best outcome for you OP and that your DH is honest with you!

Shoe may be on the other foot if he’s having his first flare up after 25 years of not knowing he has it… he may be wondering whether OP has been unfaithful and given it to him, which may be why he hasn’t mentioned it (yet).

Really, OP needs to talk to DH.

I hope it turns out to be something totally innocent OP.

Yeah it could potentially cause a lot of unwarranted distrust in a relationship. I have it and my first outbreak was just as I met my now DH and he had never had an outbreak either (he has since), Dr said it was impossible to tell if I had caught it from an ex and it had been dormant or DH who had potentially been shedding the virus with no symptoms, or could have had an outbreak but thought it was an ingrown hair which it can look like especially on men if they shave. Both of us were of the mindset "it is what it is." But if my first outbreak was now, many years down the line, it would not be an easy call as think naturally you would question your partner

Why don't you just ask him?

In fact you should have asked him before even coming here. I'm a nurse and a wife, and as much as we like to think that our partners have to tell us everything about their health. They actually don't, unless it puts you at risk.

People might just want to deal with it themselves. People might be embarrassed. They might be ashamed. In an ideal world, everyone would just tell everyone everything but it doesn't work like that.

My mum gets cold sores but she hasn't had 1 in a very long time. I would say, well over 10 years. So if someone is having this drug for some old problem, that may just be the case. Why jump to conclusions and put yourself with some of the misery loves company that's on here.