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Original poster

Do you hide purchases from dh?

90 replies

Thornybush · 02/01/2025 13:19

I just got a big order delivered from the sales. Wfh but dh is off today , luckily I got a notification of delivery so I was able to run down and hide it before he saw 😅 He's always on my back about packages coming all the time but he only sees a quarter of it. lol. Anyone else?

OP posts:
TheFlis · 02/01/2025 13:20

Nope, never. It’s my money, I will spend it on what I want. Why do you feel
the need to hide them?

TheTwirlyPoos · 02/01/2025 13:20

No, always open and most of the time I show him what I'm going to buy anyway.

TheTwirlyPoos · 02/01/2025 13:21

Thing is this could either be he's financially abusive or you are spending money you can't afford. Without more details we can't really comment

socks1107 · 02/01/2025 13:22

No. I go to work and spend what I like within my budget.
I'd like to think he doesn't hide anything from me either

Mumistiredzzzz · 02/01/2025 13:22

No. I have no need to. Why do you need to?

SerenityNowSerenityNow · 02/01/2025 13:22

Nope. Never.

Providing you're sending your own money why would it be an issue?

Tiddlywinkly · 02/01/2025 13:23

TheTwirlyPoos · 02/01/2025 13:21

Thing is this could either be he's financially abusive or you are spending money you can't afford. Without more details we can't really comment

This

catkatcatkat · 02/01/2025 13:23

No, but I also don’t overspend.

neverknowinglyunreasonable · 02/01/2025 13:23

No. What are you hiding? Would he not see new things eventually anyway? How long are you hiding them for?

NoOneKnowsWhoYouAre · 02/01/2025 13:23

No but DH sometimes doesn't declare his purchases to me!! 🤣

It's his money so I don't really care, it just makes me chuckle.

Pedallleur · 02/01/2025 13:23

Can you afford the items/do you need the item? If you are buying stuff you can't afford in order to hoard them (I speak from experience) then it's an issue you have.

loropianalover · 02/01/2025 13:24

Sometimes I neglect to mention the price of a bag or shoes to DP, but that’s because it’s my money and we have no joint bills/mortgages to worry about.

I don’t think it’s right if things are tight or you’re in financial difficulty. If he’s stressed about money and you’re ordering £300 worth of ASOS that’s really shitty.

FrannyScraps · 02/01/2025 13:24

No but won't he notice new stuff when he sees it? Or are you buying stuff and never using it?

Clarice99 · 02/01/2025 13:24

No, never. It's my money and I can choose how to spend it.

Red flag re: financial control, or that your spending is out of control and you're in debt?

NewNameNoelle · 02/01/2025 13:25

Oddly, yes, slightly. I don’t ‘hide’ but I’m happier if the delivery comes when he’s not home. I wouldn’t lie about it. I wouldn’t rush to get the package before he saw it.

Which is all odd as I earn my own money, we luckily have plenty to spare and even when I’m not working he wouldn’t begrudge me buying anything.

I do buy more than him, he’s a bit ‘I’ve had the same pair of trousers for 17yrs and they’re still fine’ which is tedious. So perhaps this is part of my actions.

TequilaNights · 02/01/2025 13:25

No never, he doesn't tell me about all the tools he buys, but they are for work.

Brownbottle · 02/01/2025 13:26

If he’s out and I order a lunchtime takeaway I sometimes hide the evidence as it can sometimes be quite a few times Grinand I like to be able to moan about it being hard to lose weight and I’m trying to be healthy…….

Tdcp · 02/01/2025 13:29

I dont hide it but I am uncomfortable with him knowing if I've bought anything though. I always over explain and justify why I've spent money even if it's a fiver. Dp doesn't really care though, it's my issue from my upbringing mostly.

TheTwirlyPoos · 02/01/2025 13:30

Actually I'm going to revise my answer. I sometimes hide chocolate I've bought and eaten in the car

Original poster
Thornybush · 02/01/2025 13:31

We have young dcs so a lot of our income goes on childcare. However we both work full time and are not short on paying bills , food etc. This is my own money. However he seems to think we should save every penny for holidays and events. I disagree- I would prefer clothes to holidays. Surely we can have a happy medium 😊

OP posts:
CoastalCalm · 02/01/2025 13:32

Nope we have joint funds for bills and separate accts for our disposable income

WilfredsPies · 02/01/2025 13:34

I hide them at Christmas, or if I’ve bought him something as a surprise. And I occasionally might be discreet about new craft supplies (although he is finally starting to understand that crafting and buying craft supplies are actually two different hobbies) because I am messy and usually buying replacements for things I’d be able to find if I tidied, and I don’t want to hear him remind me of this.

Anything else, no, not at all. I’ll discuss something for the home first, just to make sure that he doesn’t hate it before I buy it, or big purchases because it’s our money, not just mine, but I’m a grown adult. If the bills are paid, there’s food in the cupboard, the savings are topped up and he’s got spending money too, I don’t expect to have to justify my purchases to anyone.

Pumpkinseason3 · 02/01/2025 13:35

@Thornybush I can’t imagine DH commenting on anything I buy tbh - unless I was spending money that we couldn’t afford 🤷🏻‍♀️ we tend to discuss bigger purchases though.

The only thing I hide from DH are my Jaffa Cakes 😂😂 and purely because he claims not to like them but they seem to have a funny way of disappearing out of the cupboard when they’re not hidden 🤔😂

drgrat · 02/01/2025 13:36

Not for financial reasons, but I don’t advertise how many things I order because DH would moan about where all the stuff is going. Or why I haven’t cleared out my wardrobe before ordering stuff that now no longer fits. He has a point but I don’t care.

Original poster
Thornybush · 02/01/2025 13:39

Pumpkinseason3 · 02/01/2025 13:35

@Thornybush I can’t imagine DH commenting on anything I buy tbh - unless I was spending money that we couldn’t afford 🤷🏻‍♀️ we tend to discuss bigger purchases though.

The only thing I hide from DH are my Jaffa Cakes 😂😂 and purely because he claims not to like them but they seem to have a funny way of disappearing out of the cupboard when they’re not hidden 🤔😂

Hehe I see Tesco had the massive Christmas boxes of Jaffas for £1.50!!! Run if you haven't already 🤣

OP posts: