Do you hide purchases from dh?

[Thornybush]

I just got a big order delivered from the sales. Wfh but dh is off today , luckily I got a notification of delivery so I was able to run down and hide it before he saw 😅 He's always on my back about packages coming all the time but he only sees a quarter of it. lol. Anyone else?

yes.
I don't hide as such, but I often don't mention purchases in detail.

joint account, so spends are transparent.

he buys lots of retro computer stuff in turn. I don't need to know the detain <yawn>

We've never arranged finances that way in 30+ years of marriage. I don't have a share in a holiday it's our holiday for all 3 members of the family

Me neither - we have one pot and we agree together on large purchases.

But OP has specifically said that her DH wants them (her and him) to be saving for holidays and not spending, so I'm assuming therefore that he is expecting the money she's spending on clothes to be avialable in due course for a holiday.

No. We have the same attitude to finances, plus our own money as well as a joint account, so there's no need.

Sometimes I don't tell him, but that's more because he wouldn't really care and would just politely nod at my new handbag or whatever. But I wouldn't feel the need to intercept it if it was delivered so wouldn't ever actively hide something.

I live alone so no need i order what the fuck i want.
However if op was saying her husband was doing it MN would have a lot to say about it.

All the - "oh if you're earning your own money and spending that" nonsense. Even if she wasn't earning for whatever reason, or earning just a fraction of what her partner earned, it is not the sign of a healthy relationship to feel you have to hide purchases from each other, is it?

I earn 10% of what DH earns, we have a joint acount and joint credit cards, I spend what I want and don't hide things from him. I would run any big purchase (like £200 plus) past him, and he would do likewise.

I find the whole trope of the frivolous spending wifey who has to hide her purchases from the eye-rolling husband very old fashioned and silly, tbh.

No never. We both work. Him ft and I'm currently pt after mat leave but will be going back to ft when dc is in school. We both spend from our joint account and only really discuss big purchases.

No, but my DH has been known to hide purchases from me. I suspect retirement is a mixed blessing for him because he can no longer have gadgets and bike parts delivered to his workplace.

Many years ago, he bought himself (just himself, though we both cycled) a new bicycle using a small inheritance, realised straight afterwards that this might not go down well at home, and managed to hide it for several weeks until one of his cycling buddies let slip to me. I can laugh about it now, but at the time he almost ended up under the patio with the shiny bike wrapped around his neck.

Sort of. The post/deliveries usually turn up when DH is at work (I'm retired), so unless it's something he needs to know about I probably won't mention it. Having said that, it's silly things like 100 tiny rubber ducks, or 5 re-usable metal straws, or (waiting for them to arrive this week) 4 metal sporks. We've agreed a budget of €100 a month for me to buy 'crap' - which includes things like Mexican dried chillies, or ghee for my Indian cooking and other esoteric ingredients that he - who never cooks (no problem with that, it's my hobby) - would deem unnecessary (which, tbh, they are, but they make me happy). Also craft supplies - all within the €100 a month, so all good :)

He never queries the cost of the weekly shopping, never moans if I put the heating on, indulges my 'need' for something like a meat slicer (they are brilliant if you make your own bacon), and it's all good. We don't go on holidays (don't want to), I don't go to get my hair or anything else done - well, apart from doc/dentists appointments, which he never complains about the cost of. It works for us - but I still reserve the right to forget to mention the twinkly bee-shaped fairy lights that are lurking in the drawer :)

No I don't need to hide things form DH (unless it's his Xmas present of course!) It sounds like you may be over-spending on clothes and not saving enough - just a suggestion from reading your post. Either way it's not good to have something hidden from your spouse as it will come out at some stage then it'll be worse.

Yes but only in jest as vet bills are so high, so bit of a running joke. It’s a ‘bargain’ if it’s under £250.

Nope never. In fact it's always a joke if I go a few days without a delivery or shopping of any kind.
It's a joint account he's never ever questioned it

No

I only ever hide stuff for him…if he’s going to be home I tend to arrange for it to be delivered to my parents.

I’ve had a bit of a vinted spree as I’ve lost some weight recently and all of my clothes are hanging off me, only spent around £80 and got quite a bit so I am expecting Evri every day next week. He won’t say anything but may give me the occasional eye roll 🙄 🤣

We don’t have joint finances.

He gets more annoyed with having to post my parcels for me & all the shit our teens orders from SHEIN and Temu

I think a lot of people end up being discreet about purchases not because they can't afford them but because they and their partner just aren't on the same page about things and they don't want to hear tutting.

Some people are incredibly tight about spending money on anything and while that's fine if they want to be like that, its not fair to impose it on others if the family can afford to live otherwise.

Some men in particular are happy to continue dressing in shabby worn out clothes, holey boxers, too tight shirts when they have put on some weight, while grumbling if their partner updates their wardrobe. No amount of telling them changes the behaviour, they can't resist muttering 'did you need that' or 'the old one wasn't that bad'. Sometimes the choice is leave them over it (i know someone who did!), or find a compromise which is just not to draw attention to purchases.

Being sensible with money is one thing, but being stingy and tight is another and I personally find penny pinching very unattractive. DP and I are careful not to waste money, but I'd have left my partner long ago if I felt the need to hide purchases to avoid them tutting at me.