Is there a thread for those having a crap Christmas yet? ☹️

[darkmodereactivated]

If not then I’ll start one.

Baby’s first Christmas, DH is an excellent dad and I couldn’t have asked more from him over the last three months. D(?)M has a few drinks and decides to criticise his parenting skills, how he rocks the baby of all things. She refuses to apologise when asked, then doubles down and mocks him verbally and with gestures. It was horrible.

DH hurt, upset and angry. He wants an apology and says she’s not welcome in this house any more. DF disgusted by her behaviour and has been considering an Uber home in the morning. I’m piggy in the middle and have spent £250 on food etc. We have a velcro baby and it has been such a tall order trying to get house ready and was so looking forward to an amazing time.

Tomorrow morning DM definitely won’t apologise, likely she won’t actually remember the half of what happened. Even if we fake having a good day it won’t be true enjoyment, and I am gutted that this is what we are all going to remember of our baby’s first Christmas. What a shit show.

Solidarity to anyone else whose Christmas has been ruined

well done you!! A great way to keep your family unit United and strong

Op, your baby will be too young to remember any of this so I'd take the opportunity to set some ground rules with mil. Apologise, lay off the booze and act nicely or gtfo. If she is still doing this in 3 or 4 years time then the dc will remember and it will be much worse to have a scene on Christmas (speaking from experience here). Get her told.

It's not her MIL.

It's her own mother.

Not that that makes it any better or worse!

DH is in hospital with a broken ankle. He is very depressed. I’m not feeling well and fainted at visiting time. Sorry to all on here having a rough time. 💐

I would just get on with the day.

Was everyone drinking including your DH?

Seems a big blow out over a comment about rocking a baby in a certain way. Was anything else said?

A one year old baby won’t remember anything.

Don’t invite your mother again.

Have a great Christmas.

@darkmodereactivated You're not piggy in the middle, you're not backing your DH up if you don't tell her to apologise or leave. Having a quiet word isn't good enough from you; your DH needs total support from you. If he says that he needs an apology or she leaves, that's what she needs to do. He's the injured party here, not you.

Sorry this has happened . Forget it for today - so that you all can have a nice Christmas - but after have a chat with your DM ( is a talk about her drinking needed ? ) then , personally , I would say she won’t be coming next year . Maybe on the day for lunch but not staying over . If she doesn’t remember but is still defiant over her behaviour I think that’s a clear sign that the drink is an issue .

Sadly , alcoholics can be very cruel . It’s horrible for those around . They don’t see an issue with their behaviour , until they are ready to face the truth . I say this from experience of a loved one . It can get better though and again I say this from experience .

hugs 💐

Yep. Broke up with husband last week and it’s just me and him here all on our own. We are both heartbroken and Christmas isn’t happening. Though I will definitely be day-drinking. Solidarity with you all xx

We’ve had bug after bug from preschool here and I’ve succumbed to a mouth full of ulcer/blisters and last taste, with a big fever/sweats/flu symptoms.

so not the worst, but not the best. Am grateful that my child finally seems to be recovering from it, but I won’t be tasting much Christmas dinner this year and I’m not sure where the energy to cook it is coming from.

my DP picked up the main present from us to change the batteries and dropped it, then cracked it. After one use. So I had a little weep coz he has a history of being clumsy and thoughtless plus I can’t afford to replace it. It still works luckily! Phew and kiddie won’t know any different.

but the show goes on!! Merry Christmas all.

Being drunk’s not an excuse though. Backing up your husband here means saying to your mother “either apologise sincerely or leave now”

Last night my dog diagnosed with possible cancer / possible immune disease. Either way not great. It was only me & dog anyway for Christmas & although he’s home with me I really don’t feel like doing anything & he’s not up to much. I have friends a plenty luckily but no one that close hence it just being us 😢

I spent yesterday prepping the food for a feast. OH and I have woken up poorly and offered all the guests a choice and they’ve decided not to risk getting sick.

im actually okay with this. Going back to bed! And I don’t have to put a bra on. OH got me lovely gifts too.

Merry Christmas

@ChristmasIsCancelled2024 that's a horrible , heart breaking situation to be in .
Could you go for a walk ?I know how banal that sounds , but being outside and moving , even when you just want to bury your head in there duvet, can bring some ease.
Hugs to both of you .

@HettySorrelfromHayslope &@crackfoxy

i’m so sorry to you both. I lost my darling boy 2 months ago so our first Xmas without him. He absolutely loved Xmas. He knew as soon as the Decs went up. I’m sat here opening presents through tears.

Sending hugs

I'm sorry to hear that. Sounds tough. I've been there. When you feel up to it, try to do a financial order otherwise he can claim on your finances, including any inheritances you later come in to. I hope you have a peaceful day and that 2025 brings you happiness 💐

Sorry to all those who are having a crap time.

Not having a crap day as such but feeling teary as it's two years since I lost my Mum at Christmas. I keep going into the kitchen to have a little cry, as I really miss her.

It’s really hard when you have a toxic parent (and it sounds as though she has been for years, but you and your DF push it to once side and put up with it). Things change, as does your perspective, when you have children. Your DH is within his rights to state that she is no longer welcome, but I hope your DF will be given the space to visit. And if she kicks off today you are all within your rights to send her home in an uber. To really teach her a lesson though, your DF should stay if possible - unless you feel he needs the wake up call to start challenging her too?

A quiet one here, we’ve lost DP’s brother this year, his brother in law, a very good friend and our lovely dog.

DP is full of cold and there is some of his family having a full on sulk because we haven’t invited them to come tomorrow. They have been dropping hints so huge that could be seen from space but we don’t want to entertain them this year.

to everyone who is having a terrible tough time this year

Oh goodness OP, Happy Christmas to you and I hope things are clearer this morning.

Asking a drunk who has got into their groove for an apology is a wild goose chase, ideally your DF would have a quiet word with her this morning say she had been rude and unkind and an apology would be much appreciated.

Sorry to be a grinch but Christmas Day always feels like an ordeal for me, stuck indoors with relatives I do not get on with (I'm sure they think the same of me). If I get through the day without an argument or someone kicking off, it'll be a miracle.

Hope everyone manages to get through it and has a decent day, problems notwithstanding.

I'm really really ill and dp will be taking children to Christmas party without me.
Merry Christmas all x

Sorry everyone is having a crap or sad time. I'm "faking it" with the jollity right now. Had a cry in the shower. Silliness really. My Xmas thing is all the different food and drink... feasting I guess.

2 weeks ago, had to have a tooth out... gum got infected. Am on antibiotics that don't allow a drop of alcohol (sherry trifle is out) and yesterday had to have the infection gouged and flushed out with antiseptic, so no sharp/hard/crunchy foods... nuts, pringles, toffee... so I'm prepping and cooking stuff that will take me ages to eat, or that I can't have. But my gum feels much better. So just my own little pity party....

If your mum doesn't apologise or leave this morning then keep her clear of the alcohol. If she tries to get a glass then tell her she's not welcome to drink if she can't control her rude mouth.

Our Christmas has to be very low key. DS is autistic and has had a rough year with increasingly severe MH problems. He can't cope with Christmas at all. He has had his presents weeks ago, so he doesn't have to face Christmas. He'll probably spend the day in his bedroom and have his normal meals.

DH & I don't buy big presents for each other, so there's nothing much to exchange there.

We've bought a big present for DD which I'm hoping she likes.

Having grown up with an alcoholic father, I try to keep alcohol to a bare minimum in the house. He would ruin Christmas, and most other big occasions by getting drunk. He said and did some awful things whilst drunk, the effects of which are still felt years after his death.

Sending strength to those who have lost their beloved pets, have come down with a virus, have unsupportive DHs, no gas, or DCs who may be ill.

DM is 80, lives about three hours away, and was kicking off from 7-8pm so it wasn’t as straightforward as putting her in a taxi last night. She isn’t up yet but certainly if she keeps on today without apologising then the rest of us feel they should go home. Which makes me sad for my DF.