Is there a thread for those having a crap Christmas yet? ☹️

[darkmodereactivated]

If not then I’ll start one.

Baby’s first Christmas, DH is an excellent dad and I couldn’t have asked more from him over the last three months. D(?)M has a few drinks and decides to criticise his parenting skills, how he rocks the baby of all things. She refuses to apologise when asked, then doubles down and mocks him verbally and with gestures. It was horrible.

DH hurt, upset and angry. He wants an apology and says she’s not welcome in this house any more. DF disgusted by her behaviour and has been considering an Uber home in the morning. I’m piggy in the middle and have spent £250 on food etc. We have a velcro baby and it has been such a tall order trying to get house ready and was so looking forward to an amazing time.

Tomorrow morning DM definitely won’t apologise, likely she won’t actually remember the half of what happened. Even if we fake having a good day it won’t be true enjoyment, and I am gutted that this is what we are all going to remember of our baby’s first Christmas. What a shit show.

Solidarity to anyone else whose Christmas has been ruined

A difficult day here. FIL died overnight. Although he was in hospital, it was unexpected. DD(6) doesn’t really understand and DP is beyond devastated. We didn’t take DD to visit yesterday but we FaceTimed him at the hospital. We were going to take her this afternoon but instead DP and I will be going to collect his things. I’m currently hiding in the kitchen as I’m not as able to control my emotions as much as DP and MIL. They’re good at putting on a brave face

I'm so sorry. How devastating.

I'm so sorry.

So sorry for everyone who had a bummer of a Christmas - whether their pet was put to sleep, their parent is dying, died or they have the mother/in law from hell. Those with dying parents or who have died recently, of course Christmas would have been hard and probably will be for some while. It was weird first Christmas without my dad and then my mum.

Those with mothers/in laws from hell can actually do something about it. Do not go or if they come to you, avoid as much as possible. If you have a husband/partner with no balls then you have to deal with it yourself!

I understand but life and people are imperfect. Christmas is by many set up to an unrealistic ideal which never is attained. People can suck. However, you need to keep your core and tell DH not to validate himself by others opinions. They don't matter. Blood is not thicker than water. As I said ppl suck.

I'm so sorry about all these horrible Christmas posts...life would have you believe Christmas is all happy and dandy but it can be the most stressful time...
I quite like this time of year however my husband does not...he has been going through what I would call a mid life crisis..to cut a long story short he ended up working Christmas day through choice, pretty much chucked my daughter and myself out today while he stayed at home even though I didn't want to go out and then he spent the rest of the day being off, quiet and loosing his temper over silly things...he's never been like this before it's been so hard I just can't wait until it's all over...all wanted was to spend time together 😥

Well I think we can beat the shit Christmases of all time. The entire family has catastrophically imploded with the added dimension of my mother joining forces with my sister (who no-one has seen for 20 years due to on & off drug addiction) & preventing the entire family from visiting my father who has dementia. This is forever apparently. It's a shit show.
Things took a wild turn when sister started using mother's phone & email pretending to be my mother proceeded to try to play us all off against one another & then when this didn't work, went into a frenzy of insults. I cannot deal with it I'm going to be in bed until the new year.
I'm feeling for my dad though that he can't see his family just because of basic selfishness from other people

DHs dad died shortly before Xmas, rushed through a funeral and now have half of his family from America over who spent all day yesterday crying (conveniently forgetting he was a bit of a cunt most of the time) while I tried to jolly along for the kids.

I've booked a spa for 5/1 to see myself through it .

Love to all having a similar time.

That's good.

My DMIL used to be like this at Christmas also had too many drinks and was horrible. When DD was 3 I told DH I didn’t want to see her anymore on Christmas Day as I didn’t want DD to have to experience Christmas’ like that. So we never did again. I cannot abide by people who are horrible when they are drunk, especially if they refuse to apologise. If your that sort of person just stop drinking.

Sending huge hugs to everyone having a sad or difficult time. I bet half the families on social media and adverts are going through something too, they're just hiding it under their Christmas jumpers... Keep on trucking and hopefully you can celebrate a random Tuesday in March when things feel better! X

On the surface, I've had a lovely Christmas. Im surrounded by family and fellowship.

Right now, I'm going through some stuff in my inner life of change and turmoil, and I just want to cry.

It's been like this all this week. It will pass, but it's the waiting game. The one thing I need to sort out can't be until the New Year.

I've put that line on it. It's too emotional a time. I've told the person in question that we will leave the chat until the New Year when it's all over, as there are too many emotions flying about, right now.

That's as much as I'm willing to say

Not as bad as many on here (condolences to those bereaved).
I have injured my foot, I made Christmas dinner for 8 people yesterday and managed a games night with everyone/the kids and hopefully everyone had a good day. My foot swelled up to three times it's normal size by bedtime!
Woke up this morning and my foot had gone down, guests again this afternoon so I did a lovely buffet. Foot now back to being three times bigger than it should be!
I feel like I have spent the last three days (hosted Christmas eve guests as well!) either in the kitchen cooking or cleaning ready for the next batch of guests. I am exhausted and very much looking forward to the slower pace tomorrow!

I was having a good Christmas went out Christmas eve with husband son, daughter and their partners (sorry I refuse to use acronyms DH DS DS DP and all that bollocks) Anyway son and daughter's partner suggested to husband that they go out boxing day to the local club and have a couple of games of snooker. Christmas day was nice more relaxing for me as daughter did the dinner as it was the first year in their new house. Although I did party snacks and nibbles in the evening for 10 of us. Boxing day husband goes out says he'll be a couple of hours. 5 hours later comes in pissed as a fart thinking he can keep up with the 30 somethings. He's 63. Fell asleep woke up went to the toilet fell down hurt his leg. I really have no sympathy he's ruined what should have been our best Christmas for years due to bereavements and illness impacting previous Christmas's plus we found out last week we're going to be grandparents. Sorry to vent but I really am pissed off.

I'm so sorry for your loss. X

My thoughts are with you as one whose Christmas has been ruined by erratic behaviour of DH suffering the after effects of encephalitis.

My brother screamed in my face that I was dead to him, because I said it was a bit rubbish he wasn’t seeing our dad (who lives alone) over Christmas. (We changed our plans to see him so he wouldn’t be alone)

my sister didn’t once acknowledge me at all. I sent her gifts, cards and messages. Nothing in return or any word.

My mother in law told an outright nasty lie and then went nuclear when I dared to pull her up on it.

starting to wonder if it’s me that’s the problem? but I really do only ever try my best for people. But then I always seem to be the one that’s shit on.

Oh and my autistic boy (8 yo) punched me int he face and told me he hated me on Christmas Eve. It was a meltdown, but still, it hurts at times.

That's miserable for you both, be supportive of DH, go very low or no contact, but don't bring up the subject until Xmas 2025 is being discussed, then go in for the kill and say you will not consider inviting her again if she is going to drink because she was absolutely vile to your DH and refused to apologise- unless an apology is forthcoming and grovelling she will not be seeing you or her grandchild at Christmas in the future-her choice.

Call her out on the rude behaviour

Really not having a good time. MIL who lives with us is in mid to late stages of vascular dementia and currently battling a UTI. It's such a selfish demanding illness, I honestly just wanted a nice few quiet days off work with me DH and her. Just been called a stupid fool by her for taking the cutlery back she'd hidden in her room and caught her earlier with her hand down the loo. Actually looking forward to going back to work tomorrow!

@StressStressybetty I feel for you. We nursed my late mom with mixed dementia. We had to finally surrender to a nursing home as we couldn't carry on anymore.

I swore that would never happen. However, we just couldn't do 7/24 anymore and keep mom safe.

It seems selfish yet to the person they are in a different world who doesn't understand what they are doing. They often revert to childhood ways, too. My mom did.

Wishing you all the best for the chat in the New Year. I hope it sets in motion the changes you need to have peace and happiness in your life. In the mean time sending you a hug to get you through. 💐

@ililikemethewayiam, thank you so much for taking the time to respond so kindly.

It seems the universe may have been holding off this chat for a reason as some things have been revealed I needed to discuss with my adult children first, which has gone remarkable well. It's made me really tearful, too, in a happy way. I never thought I would get the support of all my 4 in this

I thought one might be awkward, and he hasn't been. It's hard to stay patient, hey, and not jump in. However, there is usually a reason if things are held off. Happy New Year to you, yours, and all the best for 2025 ✨️

No happy ending here I’m afraid. Once sober, DM said she had nothing to apologise for, if anything DH should be the one to apologise, and that she had been ‘the bigger person.’ A complete lack of insight. Unfortunately, she then went a step further with a character attack on DH (who genuinely is the most supportive, kind and loving DH and father). It was awful but sadly I was not surprised as I don’t think I have ever heard her apologise.

(To answer a PP, she was a bottle of wine in, everyone else was sober. But she was sober when I talked to her about it.)

I just feel very, very sad. It was our baby’s first Christmas, it’s my favourite time of year, and I had so looked forward to it. The whole thing was tense and awful.

As far as DH is concerned she has burned her bridges now. She won’t be coming back to our house again. I will have to work to make sure our baby has an excellent relationship with my DF going forwards.