Why would people not believe me?

[sarahlayton06]

I want to ask something and I’m being completely honest.

So, I am academically gifted in that I have always been in the top set for all of my subjects and perform really well in class, always getting really high marks in homework assignments etc.

Based off of this, I was predicted really high GCSE grades and A-level grades as well. But, I also have an issue with procrastination and leaving work to the last minute. It’s not pure laziness but it’s related to the fact that I have ADHD and anxiety and that plays a role in causing me to procrastinate and leave everything to the last minute.

So, with my GCSEs I literally left revision to the last minute and with my exams in Year 12, I did so as well. I then got lower grades than I was capable of.

However, why does it seem as though nobody truly believes me when I explain this to them? For example, I was explaining to my teachers/classmates that I am truly capable of getting A*s in my exams and was capable of getting 9s at GCSE as shown by my performance in mock tests and homework and classwork but that I only got lesser grades because I left it to the last minute. They didn’t say anything to contradict me but I just got the impression that they thought I was lying and wasn’t as clever as I thought I was.

Im not even complaining about my results and am getting help for my anxiety/ADHD issues for - but maybe if my teachers/classmates were to say that I need to do better and stop procrastinating that would be one thing. But I feel like they don’t even think I procrastinate and that I’m not that clever.

Fundamentally, why would they think that seemingly think I’m lying?

This is incredibly immature. Achieving is more than just being able to learn the facts, it is about the prep. The ongoing understanding of your subject, about managing rhe exam, managing time pressures. understanding the requirements,

for various factors you are unable, evidentially so, as you didn’t achieve. Given a different situation, where those things like prep etc wasn’t relevant you can achieve. But they are relevant.

I think you’re feeling regret mixed with self doubt. You mostly believe you could have done better, so regret that you didn’t. You want to try to get back the grades you should have got by convincing people you should have got them. The blank response proves to you that it’s not really possible to change what happened there, which is upsetting. And there’s also a part of you that doubts whether you actually were capable of doing better so you want that reassurance from others. Guessing you’ve just started at Cambridge? Are you doubting whether you’re capable? If so that is entirely normal one term in but going back to gcse grades and school teachers isn’t the way to feel better at uni. Just keep moving forward, do your best, it will settle down and you’ll see that you can do it. A degree from Cambridge will be worth much more than any gcse grades so no point looking back any more.

She’s not at Cambridge. She didn’t get the grades.
Although she’s convinced she could have… 😂

A bit like saying I could be in the netball team if I did the training.

I think this too. No matter what the replies on here, OP absolutely will not take them on board and continue to bemoan why no one thinks she's 'gifted'.

Because anyone can SAY they've got the ability to get top marks...

If you haven't proved it in all the opportunities you've had so far, then of course people are going to be doubtful.
This is a case of "put your money where your mouth is." I'd also say that if you're not getting the grades because you haven't got the skills to revise well, then sorry, but you're not top-grade material because you're missing a vital skill.

I'm going to assume you're very young OP. But all this bragging of "I'm sooooo clever but no one will believe me!" isn't a very attractive look. No one likes unfounded arrogance.

In my teens many decades ago I had a boyfriend who was at a public school through a full scholarship, sat his o'l and A levels without doing any revision - not leaving it to the last minute, he just didn't do any.

he had 11 O levels and 4 A levels which included 2 maths subjects at A level

I guess op if you told me you were academically gifted, but didn't get good grades due to not revising - id doubt your ability as revision wouldn't have come into it with the person I knew who was gifted academiclly

Thats not me being unkind, but that was my experience, so its where I see my bench mark

I think the reaction you were met with probably is to do with it being weird to be stating you're a top grade student if you're not acting like one.

I say this with complete understanding of your situation. I have ADHD and procrastinating has been an issue since I was about 12. But I didn't realise that was what it was so didn't go around using ADHD as an excuse.

I accepted without comment that I got a 2:1 instead of a 1st due to me not applying myself from the outset of all the modules.

If we are truly 'clever' we will find a way to work with our ADHD challenges rather than them being an excuse. I'm still working on that...

Just no point being 'really clever' if we don't find a way to apply it.

And it doesn't get better in the working world. Employers need people to get the job done without the drama.

You sound a bit of a tit to be honest. Why on earth would you even bring this up. You didn’t get good GCSE’s. That’s why people don’t believe you 🤷‍♀️

Because our society's way of measuring intelligence is very limited and suits only certain types of people. Because it's been that way for as long as schools have existed. And we are so used to measuring and comparing according to the system we know.

Having said all that- what do you want people to say? Are you looking for a acknowledgement of your intelligence, your ADHD or both? You feel like you are being misunderstood. But most people are not good at knowing what other people need from them. So tell them. If you want acknowledgement tell them, "I feel like you don't believe me when I explained my poorer results".

Schools have very different ways of measuring gifted and tall students too. In my last school, we were just asked to identify so many students per year group in each subject. In my current school, it’s measured on students’ SATs scores. In both cases, students only need to be identified for one subject but then they’re on the G&T register. My own daughters were identified as G&T in art and English, yet they got invited to G&T things for science and maths which they were pretty average at.
In all the years I’ve taught, I’d say I’ve only known two genuinely gifted students.

Because your actual grades reflect the amount of knowledge AND effort you have put in and that's important to people who need to 'judge' you on your grades.

I would never suggest telling people you are more clever than the grades you actually achieved, it won't help you in any way.

Incredible achievement. Well done.
I would hire you.

They are only relevant within the confines of mainstream education. It is not compulsory that they are relevant.

This is the strangest thread I’ve seen in a long time. Why does it matter whether you ‘could have ‘ or ‘should have’, you didn’t so move on. Why do you keep comparing yourself to other people? How does someone else getting certain grades have anything to do with you? I’m really confused.
Maybe instead of stressing about this do something more productive with your time. Do you have a job? Getting out in life and meeting people from different backgrounds might help you to put things into perspective and (in the nicest possible way) grow up a bit!

So, is it a troll post, or is the Cambridge offer for starting next year?

Anyone could say that but unfortunately you just can’t prove it, I’m sure there were many people in the class who could have got better grades but for whatever reason didn’t just like yourself

In life there is no point is talking about what you could have / would have done or achieved in life, you need to actually do it otherwise you sound like a bluffer

If you had studied harder you may have got better grades ( who knows) but I’m sure most students are like that, the fact of the matter is that you just didn’t…..you should learn a lesson from this, for the most part achieving things in life takes actual work

There is no offer. There was one last year but she didn't get the grades. So is resitting. But missed the deadline for applying for this year and is considering the foundation year which has a January deadline.

Allegedly.

It’s no good having potential unless you realise it. Perform or don’t, it’s up to you.

I also have ADHD and have underperformed all my life because of it but I don't see the point in going around telling people I could have got 9 x A* grades.

I regret that I didn't have a diagnosis as a child so I didn't get the support through school, college and university.

But it's done now and I can't (and don't want to) go back and re-do it.

I think you should focus on the 3 x A* A Levels and Cambridge admission. Why dredge up the past.

Also, how old are you? I thought they aren't even graded A* to F anymore, so you must be in your 30s/40s.

Total respect to you @TeenLifeMum. That's a real achievement to overcome obstacles, keep putting the effort in and get those certificates. I hope they make you smile every time you see them or speak about them. They should.

Also academically gifted isn't just a term thrown around...it has actual meaning and is a term used as categories on tests such as the WISC V just being in top set doesn't make you academically gifted.