Why would people not believe me?

[sarahlayton06]

I want to ask something and I’m being completely honest.

So, I am academically gifted in that I have always been in the top set for all of my subjects and perform really well in class, always getting really high marks in homework assignments etc.

Based off of this, I was predicted really high GCSE grades and A-level grades as well. But, I also have an issue with procrastination and leaving work to the last minute. It’s not pure laziness but it’s related to the fact that I have ADHD and anxiety and that plays a role in causing me to procrastinate and leave everything to the last minute.

So, with my GCSEs I literally left revision to the last minute and with my exams in Year 12, I did so as well. I then got lower grades than I was capable of.

However, why does it seem as though nobody truly believes me when I explain this to them? For example, I was explaining to my teachers/classmates that I am truly capable of getting A*s in my exams and was capable of getting 9s at GCSE as shown by my performance in mock tests and homework and classwork but that I only got lesser grades because I left it to the last minute. They didn’t say anything to contradict me but I just got the impression that they thought I was lying and wasn’t as clever as I thought I was.

Im not even complaining about my results and am getting help for my anxiety/ADHD issues for - but maybe if my teachers/classmates were to say that I need to do better and stop procrastinating that would be one thing. But I feel like they don’t even think I procrastinate and that I’m not that clever.

Fundamentally, why would they think that seemingly think I’m lying?

Why are you posting on Mumsnet instead of a more obvious forum like the Student Room? Do you have more general issues with talking to your peers perhaps?

Why do you care? If you want to show people you could achieve more, do it 🤷‍♀️

@sarahlayton06 kindly, if you are a serial procrastinator, Oxbridge may not be the best place for you, even if you do get the grades. From what I remember when I was looking into it, in Oxford and Cambridge students are expected to churn out an essay a week, but end of year grades are based purely on the exams. As a comparison, I went to Bristol and in a lot of modules essays accounted for 25% of the final grades. Although this was over 20 years ago so things may have changed, but worth considering. What other uni offers do you have?

OP very few people care about what your potential is what people and future employers care about is what you do with that potential.
When you get to Uni and out into the world of work you may find yourself in a world of people who have similar potential and may have more effectively demonstrated it.

I’ve seen this happen in my career multiple times (Financial Services and Law) where new graduates come in understandably delighted with what they have achieved academically then find that most of the people they are working with have similar academic results & professional qualifications & experience. (I probably would include my younger self in this too 🤣). It can be quite a reality check.

Stop trying to convince people of your potential and set about delivering it. Remember the old adage “living well is the best revenge”. Focus on what you need to do to move on successfully to the next phase of your life.

I assuming you are about 17/18 and would suggest you enjoy your Christmas holidays.
Some very, very bright people mess up exams for all
sorts of reasons. Teachers will know how bright you are by instinct.
Teachers tend to get more of a shock when someone they sense isn’t as academically bright gets a really top grade. Hard work can get you far, I know, but now and again a student can surprise.
You seem to be extremely preoccupied with this stuff. Which is such a shame at your age, as everyone needs balance.
Try and do something to switch off if you can.

No one falls for lame excuses.

did prove it once at the end of Year 12 exams and got 3As*
after having achieved ABB the first time around
ending up with BBB.

OP is nearly 19 and seems obsessed about going to Cambridge Uni, and that she's academically gifted.

OP, kindly, this isn’t going to go where you want it to.

You didn’t get the results because you didn’t do adequate work and preparation. Potential means nothing, results are what count. Why on earth are you thinking about someone who went to your school 3 yrs ago? It is not relevant.

You sound self obsessed. Work harder, stop making excuses (honestly, no one cares), pull yourself together. Also don’t go to Oxbridge, you’ll hate the pressure and exam based approach.

Thank you. I should probably mention I’m now 42 and did it alongside my full time nhs manager’s job. My poor husband has had to deal with my “I think I’ve failed the assignment… maybe I’ve scraped a pass” stage every assignment, only to get either merit or distinction each time 😂

Same here, I did minimal work as I was distracted by my social life and also because I had been told repeatedly that I wasn't academic and had actually seen myself described as "substandard and not grammar school material" on my college reference so I gave up. I managed to get my A Levels one of which was a Grade A for English Lit and I had only read half of the set texts, so obviously not too shabby. So a mixture of idleness and low self esteem affected me. I truly regret it now, if only I had self belief and encouragement I think I could have achieved much more.

The problem is that the OP has too much self belief.

I would suggest that posting on Mumsnet, not exactly the obvious forum for this teenager's discussion, is an indication that the OP is looking for some "Mums" to validate her ability in the face of self-confidence and self-esteem problems, when ?perhaps real parental figures are absent or unsuitable for that role? (Someone mentioned that in another thread it was indicated that OP had been in care, that makes this unsurprising). That validation is actually is not really going to happen here, OP, and you are going to be left feeling worse not better.

I would suggest instead getting some real-life counselling about why you feel this way. No-one gives the slightest toss about what how "gifted" you are or what you were "capable of" in your school exams except perhaps for the people nearest and dearest to you. Especially your classmates. (You are going to make yourself very unpopular among your peers if you proceed into adult life with this attitude). Please consider getting some counselling about your self-image rather than obsessing about what people think about you.

I think you should speak to your GP as this level of fixation isn't healthy, @sarahlayton06. There are plenty of good universities you could attend.
A foundation year after resits and you will be 2 years behind many of your peers.
Law is competitive and all the student will be academically capable.

Are State School Oxbridge Students More Intelligent? | Mumsnet

You are a superstar to come through all that and achieve what you have.

Not quite sure who you are having to discuss/prove this to?

I was regarded as distinctly non-academic at school (undiagnosed SEN).

I did a degree and MA as a mature student. Got a 1st in every assignment (I was interested in the subject and worked BLOODY hard - had a lot to prove to myself).

Nobody is interested 😂
The only time I find myself mentioning it is when I am feeling insecure about my intelligence…

It’s like me saying I could’ve been a fantastic ballet dancer had I bothered to practise. There’s no point in saying you could’ve done better-you didn’t. Don’t pathologise it by claiming ADHD! You couldn’t be bothered! Intellect is useless without commitment. My daughter achieved 12 A star at GCSE and two A star and two A at A level. (Wales, hence old grades). She put in hours and hours of work for it. My son is naturally more intelligent but will not get grades like this as he’s just not willing to put in the work.

Thank you @murasaki

I’ll add to op, that as someone who does recruiting into my team, I’m looking for many things more than intelligence. Resilience and work ethic being significant.

OP I am going to give you the benefit of the doubt despite various inconsistencies in your posts over the last week.

You seem to be in an unhealthy spiral at the moment that is unlikely to be conducive to a good academic performance. Please make sure you have real life support.

If you want to understand how individual universities will view things speak to them.

Don’t get overly fixated on a particular university unless you are sure that university’s teaching style will suit you and you will get the support you need.

Remember that you can always apply for a Masters at a university if their undergraduate teaching approach doesn’t work as well for you.

Just get your grades and consider all possible universities. It doesn’t matter how clever you think you are or what others do or don’t see - just get the best grades you can.

Surely they know the results of your mocks and that you underperformed in the actual exams.

That is just not true. People who are gifted still need to work hard.

So, with my GCSEs I literally left revision to the last minute and with my exams in Year 12, I did so as well. I then got lower grades than I was capable of.

Maybe they think that if you were so bright, you wouldn't have repeated your GCSE procrastination in year 12?

I don't know why you think your classmates and teachers telling you to stop procrastinating would magically make this happen? You say yourself you KNOW this is your problem - yet you've kept doing it. So there is no eureka moment that they can give you.

"The Cambridge Foundation Year is a unique course intended to provide a stepping stone to Cambridge for students who have been prevented from realising their potential due to educational disadvantage or disruption."
I doubt that it is for procrastinators and those who have self-diagnosed ND.

Exactly. I am a retired university professor and I gave tutorials at Oxbridge. You can have all the potential in the world, but what counts is what you achieve. Most of the students I taught at Oxbridge were very clever, but it was those who did the work, revised, wrote thoughtful essays that did well in their degree. That work ethic also served them well in life. You have to put in the work to get into a top university. If ADHD is a problem for you, then get some help on how to revise, rather than procrastinate. Get the best grades you can and do your best. That's all you can do.

My husband was a bit like you, and messed up his GCSEs even though predicted to do well. He woke up, realised what was at stake, revised, and he got into Cambridge. Then he got there, and realised he was no longer the cleverest in the room...everyone was clever. He spent too much time punting instead of studying, and got a 2.2. He had an industry placement/job offer upon graduation. That said, he told me he still regrets not putting just a bit more effort.

That's right.

Are you saying “2 years behind your peers” as though that’s a bad thing or not?