Why would people not believe me?

[sarahlayton06]

I want to ask something and I’m being completely honest.

So, I am academically gifted in that I have always been in the top set for all of my subjects and perform really well in class, always getting really high marks in homework assignments etc.

Based off of this, I was predicted really high GCSE grades and A-level grades as well. But, I also have an issue with procrastination and leaving work to the last minute. It’s not pure laziness but it’s related to the fact that I have ADHD and anxiety and that plays a role in causing me to procrastinate and leave everything to the last minute.

So, with my GCSEs I literally left revision to the last minute and with my exams in Year 12, I did so as well. I then got lower grades than I was capable of.

However, why does it seem as though nobody truly believes me when I explain this to them? For example, I was explaining to my teachers/classmates that I am truly capable of getting A*s in my exams and was capable of getting 9s at GCSE as shown by my performance in mock tests and homework and classwork but that I only got lesser grades because I left it to the last minute. They didn’t say anything to contradict me but I just got the impression that they thought I was lying and wasn’t as clever as I thought I was.

Im not even complaining about my results and am getting help for my anxiety/ADHD issues for - but maybe if my teachers/classmates were to say that I need to do better and stop procrastinating that would be one thing. But I feel like they don’t even think I procrastinate and that I’m not that clever.

Fundamentally, why would they think that seemingly think I’m lying?

My son had the WISC and WIAT test. He is ASD/ADHD.

Not everyone can get high grades in subjects like further maths no matter how hard they work. Some people can deal with the work but require support with organisation and the easy stuff. It does not work the other way. You will never find person with good social skills who needs support to become a mathematician.

Again you are putting forward an excuse.
For several years after covid the grade boundaries were dropped and the amount of pupils that gained higher grades increased.

As a previous poster said, you have an issue with self awareness in that you think that you are so much better than others when in reality you don't put the work in.

"I feel very motivated to spend the rest of the year revising 5 A-level subjects, 2 extra on top of the 3 I’m already predicted 3As and with my extra time trying to get as good grades as possible to prove a point. I think I should quit my part time job just to devote time to the extra revision. That way I will have better exam results than most people at Oxbridge and I will feel much better about myself"

OP if you genuinely believe that getting 5 A Levels will make you much better than anyone else at Cambridge then I can promise you, you have already failed.

I partially agree with you but this isn't the teacher's fault they will be predicting on work done in the year, what they cannot predict is the level of effort that the pupil will put in for the exams.
Also many pupils have an overinflated opinion of themselves due to having high fft targets, thinking that just because they have high targets the work will be a breeze,

Oh I didn't realise this was the same poster

I'm totally confused so excuse me, but if the foundation year is an option I think you should take it. Working at degree level especially at somewhere like Oxbridge is totally different to GCSEs and A levels and you may learn study skills that will serve you well in your degree, I imagine

Sitting 2 unnecessary A levels to prove "something" is just cutting off your nose to spite your face. You really need to get past previous disappointments and focus on the future.

Sorry, tried to edit out the weird bold text?

From what I can tell, she doesn't want to do the foundation year because she believes that she is better than that.

OP it sounds like you have overcome incredible odds between illness and disability to get where you are today - you don't need to prove yourself to anyone! You're enough just as you are. There is more to you that just your intelligence although I have no doubt you are very bright. Pinning your self esteem to what other people think of you or on being 'better' than other people is a dangerous game - the trick is to like yourself and think you're ok, rather than to need other people's approval. There will always be someone 'better' than you.

I think you were very let down by your school - access arrangements do not rely on diagnosis. If you needed extra time then this should have been awarded based on your need/normal way of working. I believe your school should have been able to apply for access arrangement up until March 31st of the year of your exams (apart from in the case of modified papers) - were you diagnosed after that point? You also had to deal with your economics teacher leaving and not being replaced, that is going to particularly impact a student with ASD and ADHD.

A-levels are an odd one OP, I did absolutely shit in them. But I got a 2:1 for my degree and loved my Masters which I passed with distinctions. I think you just need to move on from A-levels now no matter what you get, I'd stick to 3 and concentrate on those and take the next step and go to uni even if it's not Oxbridge. Keep your part time job as the skills you're learning there are likely to be as useful than anything you learn at A-level tbh!

When you get to uni make sure you throw yourself into more than just the academics because when you finish and start doing interviews you need to be able to talk about all the things you've done beyond your degree to stand out from everyone else that also has a degree - and that is true even if you have a first!

OP. I mean this kindly. I went to oxbridge. It is not for the faint of heart. If you need validation from having better grades than everyone else then Oxbridge is not for you. You will get absolutely punched in the face at Cambridge unless you change your attitude - including to studying, since essays are due pretty much every week so you don’t have time to put them off.

Are you considering a legal career?

It's so ironic that this is not a clever thing to do.

You remind me of my cousin. So intent upon being seen to be clever (which he is) that he does dumb stuff. This is exactly the sort of thing he'd have done.

@Gem359 No, no, no. She will be great doing Weeding with Shelf-filling at the University of Bogshire. Leave the poor girl alone.

A goal without a plan is a wish.

Don't quit your part-time job. Get a new one near Christ Church and fuck the shit out of one of the tutors.

"I feel very motivated to spend the rest of the year revising 5 A-level subjects (2 extra on top of the 3 I’m already predicted 3As in) and with my extra time trying to get as good grades as possible to prove a point. I think I should quit my part time job just to devote time to the extra revision. That way I will have better exam results than most people at Oxbridge and I will feel much better about myself".*

You really really won't, not in the longer term. And you won't have any friends with that attitude of prioritising "trying to prove a point" and beating other people in exam results. Please seek some counselling. Look at what I said upthread.

What does "I feel very motivated" mean? That's not a usual way of putting something, maybe analyse what the actual "motives" are?

They didn’t say anything to contradict me but I just got the impression that they thought I was lying and wasn’t as clever as I thought I was.

I would imagine they thought it was odd that you were talking yourself up as you have actually have pretty mediocre exam results.

Hard work always trumps natural ability OP. As you will also find out when you enter the work place. Your employer won’t care how many A*s you have if you can’t turn your work in on time and meet deadlines.

OP, do you actually enjoy the subject you plan to study? Why do you want to study it?

Yup. I remember when the story broke.

The reaction in our staffroom was "What?! No one at Bearsden Academy realised that Brandon Lee was the name of Bruce Lee's son?"

Yes, there are some similarities here. I think that the film might be available on Youtube. The OP should watch it.

I relate to some of this. Firstly you had illness and the pandemic, those are exceptional circumstances. Secondly, you proved it to yourself that you could get the grades you wanted.

The fact that people didn't encourage you perhaps has spurred you on. I think people don't give it much thought how much their reaction can have an impact, but as you have ADHD you are very sensitive to their reactions.

The most important thing now is that you get into the routine of working consistently.

I say that as someone with ADHD - as soon as you get used to doing things last minute it sets up your brain chemistry for the adrenaline, and eventually that leads to burnout.

Yes it will take you longer to do things, but the key is to start early and get the bulk of work done. And do stuff you intrinsically enjoy.

Have time for micro breaks and always plan something epic as a reward when the big piece of work is done, otherwise its really hard to get back into gear again.

And learn to counter ruminating too much with looking forward/ahead to the future.

I used to play tennis at a reasonable but never going to break into professional tennis by a long way.

Anyway there was this girl locally who won a major tournament at 9yo. She was genuinely believed to be heading for Wimbledon. She had the most amazing shots for a 9yo and was beating much older people. She was given scholarships and free coaching and it wasn't a question of whether she would make it, but when. Top LTA coaches were certain of that.

And I'll tell you, that none of you will have heard of her. Why?

When she was 15, I beat her.

What happened? There was no shortage of coaching for her; she had all the opportunities, nothing stood in her way.
Except her attitude. She couldn't cope with not winning. The first time I played her, it was neck and neck all through the first set. I got 5-4 up, changed end and she fell apart, and scarcely got another game.
Any time I met her after that she just fell apart. The knock up I would be totally outclassed. Then as soon as I got a point, she went back to hitting into the bottom of the net or two yards out.

Now she still had amazing shots that beat me. She still had a fantastic serve, could do all the ground shots, serve and volley amazingly well... when they went.
But she didn't have the strength of personality to fight when she didn't win easily; the attitude that didn't give up; the ability to keep hitting the brilliant shots when the pressure was on.

And I think you are similar. You have had the ability to show that you can do well academically, as she had the ability to do brilliantly at tennis. But neither of you have the extra bit, the part that translates the ability into actual achievement.

Now what would you think if she stood in front of you telling you that she could have won Wimbledon? I think you'd probably smile and nod, and think to yourself "no way". And she could have - if she'd had the ability in a different body; but she wasn't the all-round winner she needed to be to get there.

I think what you should quit is spending entire days telling people on MN how intelligent you are and spend more time working for your grades.

Today you have literally done the exact procrastination you’ve identified is an issue, put your energies into your studies rather than caring what people think.

You can get top grades because you don't do the work.
It's simple.

*can't get top grades

Hasn't done the work and doesn't have the natural ability to carry her. Which is fine, that's most of us. But it's not an unusual situation.