Why would people not believe me?

[sarahlayton06]

I want to ask something and I’m being completely honest.

So, I am academically gifted in that I have always been in the top set for all of my subjects and perform really well in class, always getting really high marks in homework assignments etc.

Based off of this, I was predicted really high GCSE grades and A-level grades as well. But, I also have an issue with procrastination and leaving work to the last minute. It’s not pure laziness but it’s related to the fact that I have ADHD and anxiety and that plays a role in causing me to procrastinate and leave everything to the last minute.

So, with my GCSEs I literally left revision to the last minute and with my exams in Year 12, I did so as well. I then got lower grades than I was capable of.

However, why does it seem as though nobody truly believes me when I explain this to them? For example, I was explaining to my teachers/classmates that I am truly capable of getting A*s in my exams and was capable of getting 9s at GCSE as shown by my performance in mock tests and homework and classwork but that I only got lesser grades because I left it to the last minute. They didn’t say anything to contradict me but I just got the impression that they thought I was lying and wasn’t as clever as I thought I was.

Im not even complaining about my results and am getting help for my anxiety/ADHD issues for - but maybe if my teachers/classmates were to say that I need to do better and stop procrastinating that would be one thing. But I feel like they don’t even think I procrastinate and that I’m not that clever.

Fundamentally, why would they think that seemingly think I’m lying?

Passing the interview and test is not enough, though. Cambridge make more offers than they have places because they know that some people will, quite literally, not make the grade.

So would I. You will be where you want to be. I think it's the best plan really.

[Duplicate post - sorry!]

I can tell people i’m capable of getting A*s, however i’m not and I didn’t…
so why would anyone believe me if I told them that? You didn’t achieve that so you can’t claim that you’re capable of it unless you resit your GCSE’s, study hard, achieve that goal and prove it.

A seasonal song lyric springs to mind:
"I could have been someone
Well so could anyone"

Also the long "more comprehensive" post looks like had AI assistance. Suspect Cambridge wouldn't want that.

Kindly meant op, but step away from this site, it isn’t helpful to you.

To give you a bit of perspective my daughter got an offer from Cambridge, but had a lot of troubles with her health that year and while she got the grades she didn’t get them in the right subjects. She was put into the summer pool but didn’t get accepted.

She could have ranted and raged but instead she went to her second choice, and thrived. Finishing top of her year and things keep looking up.

Look forward not back. Take your Alevels, go to uni (Cambridge is not the only good university look at the odds of getting in lots of very capable, intelligent people don’t get in), move on and thrive.

😂 This pretty much nails it!

Exams are a measure of intelligence AND ability to slog through hours of revision. If you don't have the mental stamina and motivation to learn the material, then you aren't capable of good grades regardless of why you procrastinated.

There is a reason that universities rely on exams not IQ tests. They don't only care about innate intelligence. They want to see an ability to work hard and interest in the subject too.

Almost anyone is capable if they put the work in. You didn’t 🤷‍♀️

If you are dead set on Oxbridge, and one of them turned you down for low A levels, then surely you work your arse off, get better results, and apply for the other one?

Way back when I went to Oxford, once you had passed the entrance exam, the offer was three Es at A level - because they wanted you there no matter what. I am sure it is different now, but if you’ve had an offer, that means they are interested, so talk to the tutors at your chosen college, if you can. After all, they have interviewed you, right?

As a lawyer in the future, which area do you think you could specialise in, that could lend itself to your strengths (and avoid the not so strong bits!)? I’m in house and love it, but law is really nasty as a trainee. Prepare yourself for a long while of being underestimated until you’re at least 5 years qualified.

Well, I'm hoping that my hospital consultant really did get all the top grades needed to get that job.

I would be very concerned if they had only got that job because, although they were a dimwit, they had told the authorities that they really felt very very clever and the authorities believed them!

Ge t a grip-you either have the pieces of paper needed to prove that you could pass the exams at the top level or you haven't.

Thinking otherwise is just a " if my aunt had balls she would be my uncle" situation.

I have a first class degree from Cambridge.

Unless it’s changed dramatically in the past few years (I don’t think it has), Cambridge relies far more heavily on exams in its assessments than most other universities. There was no assessed coursework at all until my final year. And the exams are brutal - you have to memorise a whole year’s work and regurgitate it with intelligence and your own arguments… weeks of solid and structured revision, it took me each time. And the coursework wasn’t an easy option either: it required solid effort all term to produce something good enough.

Add to that the fact that the tutorial system means you’re writing more than an essay a week and then defending it 1:1 or in a pair with an expert, and you’ll see that you have to be capable of sustained and structured hard work to succeed there.

I suggest you take a deep breath and look at your actual sustainable options with the marks and predictions you actually have, and also that you work on study skills in whatever way you need to, whether that’s with medical or other help to mitigate your ADHD, or in other ways.

A good friend of mine has ADHD and a PhD from Cambridge, so it can be done.

I think people are being a bit too harsh. This is a hard thing to go through at any age. I found uni easy but then struggled getting into the world of work. It was and is hard to feel that I could be doing more but somehow it’s not coming together. My partner is very bright and has worked consistently hard and is great with people (that’s the part that i struggle most with) so he’s done fantastically well in his career. Now, at 40, he’s hitting a point where it’s not clear how to progress further. He feels that he could do more but somehow it’s not coming together. It’s hard. Doesn’t matter when this stuff hits, it is a painful thing to go through. Feeling that you could do more, seeing that you fall short or are not consistent enough, realising you’ve made a tactics mistake that’s lost you an opportunity, whatever it is, don’t write this regret off as childish, it’s normal to have these emotions.

I feel very motivated to spend the rest of the year revising 5 A-level subjects (2 extra on top of the 3 I’m already predicted 3A*s in) and with my extra time trying to get as good grades as possible to prove a point. I think I should quit my part time job just to devote time to the extra revision. That way I will have better exam results than most people at Oxbridge and I will feel much better about myself.

The A level students in 2020 and 2021 did get taken at face value because the exams couldn't be sat so schools awarded the grades. I think OP wishes she could have the same outcome.

I AM a size 6, I just eat the wrong things, the stars didn’t align, COVID….

OP, you’re young, you have your whole life ahead of you. Start from where you are now. Learn the lessons of life which have got you to where you are now. Don’t blame grammar and autocorrect…..
The only person who can steer your life is you.
Life is hard. But it can be amazing, grab your opportunities and run with them, don’t look back looking for excuses as to why you didn’t or couldn’t.
Don’t have regrets, go for it

Exams aren’t testing your cleverness. They’re testing your preparedness. You cut corners and your grades reflect that. That’s the case for many thousands of students… they could have done better but they didn’t.

im the same at work. I do alright in my job but I know for sure I could do a better job if I was willing to put more effort in.

welcome to life!

Lots of people didn't get good grades for lots of different reasons but could have got them if things had turned out differently.

"Success is 10% inspiration and 90% perspiration” is a famous quote by Thomas Edison. You had the 10% but failed to bring the 90% perspiration to the party.

OP you should focus on not worrying about what others think. It will only hold you back. In a few years when you have completed your studies, you will wonder why you were so bothered about what others thought of your potential.

I advise you to focus on yourself, and open yourself up to opportunities beyond Oxford and Cambridge, both great universities of course, but they aren’t the be all and end all of success.

If you want to hear my personal experience, I came from a chaotic, unstable background, went to an average school, was always top of the class, got ABB at A Level. Had I had a different background and more of a support network, I could have got straight As and got the work experience I needed to get on the course I really wanted. However I didn’t, and that was that. I went to an RG university, studied an adjacent subject but have still gone to achieve success I never would have thought was possible when I was younger. Yes if external factors were different I could have got to this stage sooner maybe, but the most important criteria in success is your motivation and drive to achieve and to accept the knock backs and learn from them (I have had plenty of those)

Nobody needs 5 A levels.
If you stretch yourself too thin you won’t have the time to get the grades you desire whether you are capable of them or not.

If studying g hard makes you feel better about yourself then great crack on! Don’t do it to belittle others tho - people also work hard to get into Oxbridge

I agree with the pps who have said that intelligence and passing exams are actually different things. In order to pass exams at the highest level it takes a lot more that intelligence in isolation. Determination, tenacity and the commitment to revise are just as crucial.
I think this thread is a bit bizarre though as surely the only person whose opinion really matters in all of this OP is yours. If you want to show off to people about being the student with the highest grades then I would just ask why?

OP I was very academically capable without having to put much effort in.

In the end though those who knuckled down and worked hard did better than me. I had a really inconsistent approach to studying and rushed essays and work. I did fine but if I had been more mature with a better work ethic I probably could have done better. It’s not just about intelligence, that is only part of it.

Luckily I learned to get better at focussing and putting the effort in but that is also a skill you need.

Good luck in all you choose.

I know three people who as they tell it “could have gone to Oxford” - I think, yeah, but you didn’t mate.

I'm a university lecturer. I sometimes encounter students who have fallen into the trap of living in the conditional mood, particularly the conditional perfect. They could have, should have, would have done XYZ, and they always have an excuse for why they have not in fact done so. Often they were academic stars at school who grew used to coasting through their exams. The expectations of university tend to unbalance them, and instead of shifting their perspective and buckling down to work, they devote much of their attention to complaining and trying to convince everyone how brilliant they are.

@sarahlayton06I would encourage you not to become like those students. Concentrate on how to move forward, develop strategies to avoid procrastination, etc. Also, if a PP is correct and you are using AI to write your posts, stop doing that immediately. I know that posting on MN is far from academic writing, but it's best not to get into the habit of taking the easy way out.

on the flip side, there are probably plenty of people who are at Oxbridge that really should not be there, little intelligence, little common sense, but an ability to absorb and recall relevant data that enables them to tick the box. Its those people that turn out to be the crap doctors, accountants and consultants that we come across every day. These are the people who are unable to think laterally, unable to act logically, and need a checklist to cross off when confronted with an issue, god help them if they come across a situation that is not in their mental database...

Until a better system comes about that accepts intelligence over diligence, I am afraid people like you and me will always suffer.

Im sorry you have ADHD though, my excuse is I'm just lazy!

Take it as a lesson for the future, in todays world, intelligence is nothing without diligence,

good luck