Why would people not believe me?

[sarahlayton06]

I want to ask something and I’m being completely honest.

So, I am academically gifted in that I have always been in the top set for all of my subjects and perform really well in class, always getting really high marks in homework assignments etc.

Based off of this, I was predicted really high GCSE grades and A-level grades as well. But, I also have an issue with procrastination and leaving work to the last minute. It’s not pure laziness but it’s related to the fact that I have ADHD and anxiety and that plays a role in causing me to procrastinate and leave everything to the last minute.

So, with my GCSEs I literally left revision to the last minute and with my exams in Year 12, I did so as well. I then got lower grades than I was capable of.

However, why does it seem as though nobody truly believes me when I explain this to them? For example, I was explaining to my teachers/classmates that I am truly capable of getting A*s in my exams and was capable of getting 9s at GCSE as shown by my performance in mock tests and homework and classwork but that I only got lesser grades because I left it to the last minute. They didn’t say anything to contradict me but I just got the impression that they thought I was lying and wasn’t as clever as I thought I was.

Im not even complaining about my results and am getting help for my anxiety/ADHD issues for - but maybe if my teachers/classmates were to say that I need to do better and stop procrastinating that would be one thing. But I feel like they don’t even think I procrastinate and that I’m not that clever.

Fundamentally, why would they think that seemingly think I’m lying?

To get the top grades at GCSE and A level?

Self praise is no recommendation, and its show not tell. It can be difficult when you work in different ways to the mainstream, but that's the way the world works. All you can do going forward is to discuss whether there are any adjustments that could be made to help you achieve your potential. But one way or another you'll have to evidence your ability. Let's face it, would you be operated on by a surgeon who told you he wasnt qualified, but not to worry, as he absolutely could do the operation, he just failed the exam because he thinks he has ADHD?

Did you do the LNAT this year?

As they are going off proven results today. I really struggled to get correct predictions to apply for medical school as I spent my yr9 in a private school to escape bullying so didn't do sats so had no real evidence of my brain potential. I got given predictive grades of that of the average in the school year (an absolutely awful school) so I was predicted all D/E and a couple of C. Which would obviously not get me into uni. After first mocks my parents begged them to use mocks. I ended up with 9a*s, 5a, 1b... but it took my mum hours of begging to let me sit higher maths (which I had to self teach in the end) and it was quoted at me "anyone at this school would be happy with a D so so should you"...

Exams are hard most won't just take your word for it and go off previous evidence

Because that's how life works. Results count. I'm considerably more technically capable than many people more senior than me, but because confidence is self fulfilling and tenacity is a skill, I may never be that senior. Performance has more than one input.

Well that all depends on the reasons, I suppose. Because you took a gap year and then decided to apply to study a different subject because you changed your mind? Not really a big deal I imagine (might depend on the subject, I guess). Because that's how much longer it took you to get the required grades? Might be a sign that this isn't the right path for you.

I am capable of achieving 12 A* GCSEs but my academic ability gets in my way

*I am truly capable of getting As in my exams and was capable of getting 9s at GCSE as shown by my performance in mock tests and homework and classwork but that I only got lesser grades because I left it to the last minute. They didn’t say anything to contradict me but I just got the impression that they thought I was lying and wasn’t as clever as I thought I was.

Intelligence wise you may be capable enough, but executive function wise clearly not. So overall, not, otherwise you would have. I was exactly the same.

They don't believe you because you have not done it. The proof is in the pudding, I'm afraid, and saying I could have, but I didn't revise is boasting how clever you are (clue: not endearing). Stop procrastinating and stop telling people how wonderful you are.

I'm not sure what's going on here really. You have started several threads in the last week relating to this. In this thread you blame procrastination and ADHD for not getting the results you think you deserve, you also say there were health problems, in another thread you are complaining about the Economics teacher and therefore lining up the next excuse for possibly not doing as well as predicted when you resit this summer. You also say you have a late ASD diagnosis and have been in care.
And in another thread you ask "could someone on a gap year technically get away with faking a reference if they made it sound legitimate?"

I'm sorry OP but you haven't proven that you are capable of getting those high grades. I don't know who predicted you 3 A*s at A-level but they really shouldn't have done. You didn't do particularly well in your GCSEs or your Year 12 exams.
By predicting those grades they have given you unrealistic expectations of what you are capable of achieving and which universities might be suitable.
You seem to have no end of reasons/excuses for not producing the grades. If you know that you procrastinate and leave things to the last minute then you need to find strategies to deal with that (plenty of information online). On your thread about the economics teacher people suggest resources you can use but you say you don't see why you should have to do that because the teacher is at fault. If you really wanted to do it and were really capable/gifted you would be driven to do the absolute best you can and to put in all of the extra work to achieve the goal.

I'm going to sound harsh here but you haven't got a chance of going to Oxbridge with the grades you have and even if you did get onto the foundation scheme it does not sound like you have the drive to make the most of it. You say that you don't need the foundation year, it's just a way to get you in easily.
I think you have absolutely no idea what is involved in doing an Oxbridge degree and you have no idea how much work other people put in to achieve their grades. Even very intelligents students have to work, otherwise they won't do well.

You should go to your GP and seek counselling because there seems to be so much going on.
Then you should forget the Oxbridge idea (you didn't even manage to apply on time!). Apply somewhere else where you have a realistic chance of getting in and perhaps somewhere which has a larger coursework/continuous assessment component as you claim you do well in those. Once you are at university you work your socks off to do as well as you can. If you come out with a good degree at the end of it you will have plenty of opportunities open to you and you could do a Masters and/or PhD at Oxbridge if you really have proven yourself to be as capable as you claim you are.

Why are you so bothered? I would spend less time thinking about what other people think of you and more time achieving the best you can do.

I get your sentiment but tbh as a Dr that's not hugely far from the reality. Our post grad exams are so so hard, they set them each as a 40% pass rate (we think cynically so we pay them another 800£+ to retake them repeatedly as needed to finish training). The exams are totally unrepresentative of our daily job and seniors regularly tell you failing an exam is not representative of you being a bad Dr, and some of the best have many exam resits

For eg... my anaesthetic exams a huge proportion of the qs were how to give an anaesthetic up mount everest due to change in atmospheric pressures, the relationship of how gases dissolve/soluable they are in oil vs blood, anaesthetic gases that are only used in the 3rd world they're so inferior (but cheap) rather than the gases we use every day of the job, how to change to pH and cellular ion concentration in squid cells, drawing the electrical circuits inside defibs and God knows what else. Hence why those who fail get super upset when fail for not knowing stats that are totally irrelevant to actually giving a safe anaesthetic when you've spent 1000s of your own money on them and every working minute of your non-work time revising to have to start again

My DD is actually capable of A and A grades across the board. She is 13 and her last school report a couple of weeks' ago was outstanding, and she literally achieved about 7 A star grades and 4 As. It had all been achieved by her own hard work, alongside her high intelligence. I probably sound all boastful saying this but she really does put in the effort, and her intelligence combined with her effort means she excels.

Sorry, not sure why this is in bold in parts lol

Being two years behind your peers is nothing in the grand scheme of things so I personally wouldn’t worry about that, in a few years time you may not even have any contact with your current peers anyway….move at your own pace especially if you have an end goal in mind

The OP is not a Cambridge level applicant. She's not even a Cambridge level procrastinator.

Absolutely 💯 They can't just coast by on intelligence alone.

Well there you are then You know what your nature leads you to, procrastination, and you also know that you can overcome this, revise properly and achieve.

Now all you need to do is remind yourself of this when deadlines are looming. My advice is to always work backwards from the exam/ assignment date and plot out your strategy , giving yourself small deadlines to meet, dates for research/ revision planning, dates for first drafts/ organised revision etc.

The point is that as you go through education no one really cares what your last results were , does any one ask what you got for KS2 SATS? The focus is always getting over the next hurdle, not boring the pants off your friends by saying “ I could have and should have”.

To be a high achiever you need two things: 1.The potential 2.The skills to realise the potential.

The bottom line is you have the first one and lack the second. It sucks, but you can't be credited with the ability to pull off good grades when you don't have the skill to. There are other people put there who have 1 and 2 combined, and that has to take precedence.

You have my sympathies because I found myself in the same boat as you. I think its hard to get your head around because you invested so much of your childhood identity in being bright and academic, and suddenly find yourself falling through the cracks. Try to reframe - you know you have the potential, but the reality of what that would require from you to perform well at Oxbridge (for instance) just isn't realistic, and that's ok. You want to love your life, not feel like you are fighting against the tide constantly. Focus on establishing what your useful skills are right now and what you could do with them and find a difdernt path. You don't need to prove your academic side to anyone.

It’s a bad thing if you wasted those 2 years fannying about trying to achieve the entry requirements everyone else got the first time.

If you’d spent them gaining life experience and a work ethic through having a full time job or travelling and volunteering etc, they would be time well spent.

You blew it. That’s ok. Not everyone can go to Cambridge. Pick a new ambition and move on.

You aren’t as clever as you keep telling yourself you are. That’s ok too. Set realistic expectations and stop telling everyone how ‘gifted’ you are, it makes you look daft.

Possibly...I said earlier I'm no expert and don't even know what the official definition of "gifted" is.

I'd just have thought, and I'm ready to be corrected, that GCSE and A level are not usually very advanced in terms of a subject's full depth and someone who's actually gifted, as opposed to just above averagely clever, wouldn't be likely to have to work very hard to get the top marks at that level. In pioneering new discoveries and depths later on, sure. An A* or whatever it is these days at GCSE and A level...really?

@ForeverDelayedEpiphany Sorry, not sure why this is in bold in parts lol

because you used asterisks. Asterisk bold Asterisk shows as bold .

I am the same as you OP and I have ADHD although only recently diagnosed.

I think the problem is you are bragging about it/making a thing out of it. I have never made any comments about my seemingly poor (for me) GCSE results-they’re acceptable in society so they are what they are.

Generally in work/life people notice my intelligence and comment on it, I brush it off with a very much I am who I am style comments.

In short-either resit and get the results you are capable of or shut up about it and get on with life!

This. If you put the work in you get top grades, yes there’s an element of being naturally clever but most of it is hard work!

She is still quite young and can try again, telling her she has ‘blown it’ is very negative and a completely defeatist attitude, most people who are ambitious and achieve a lot in life do not get there by being defeatist, you have a terrible attitude

I’ll try to explain myself in a more comprehensive way.

Firstly, in Year 9, I became really ill and began missing a lot of school. This coincided with COVID. At this time the procrastination wasn’t an issue as the content that I was learning was not particularly difficult/not that much. But, then I was hospitalised for some time in Year 10 and was missing a lot of school in Year 11 as my GCSEs got into full swing. I went back to school after my hospitalisation in Year 10 and I managed to catch up, which is how I was predicted high GCSE grades by doing really well in the end of year mock exam and the mock exam at the beginning of Year 11 as well. I was predicted all 8s/9s.

But, then as I continued to miss bits of school in Year 11, I began to fall back. This was compounded by the fact that I ran out of time in my exams due to not having been diagnosed with autism yet and so not getting extra time. This led me to underperform in my exams.

Then, starting Year 12, I was really motivated to do well and so put in a lot of effort and got 3A-stars in my January and May mock exams. That’s what led me to get 3-stars for my UCAS predicted grades.

However, I then got really flustered by a combination of having to prepare for UCAS at the start of Year 13 and my Economics Teacher leaving and not being replaced, that I failed my mock exams in January of Year 13. This is also because I practically had to ignore my other subjects and focus on Economics since everything was disorganised in terms of the teaching of the curriculum. This coincided with me getting a Cambridge offer.

I felt very demotivated by the fact that the teaching in Economics was so poor (which is why I posed the original question in the other thread to gauge what I should have done at the time as I like to reflect and dwell on my mistakes and imagine a scenario in which things went different and also to do better in the future).

I then left revision to the last minute for my exams due to a combination of disappointment that after being officially diagnosed with Autism (and tested for extra time accommodations) in March, my school said that it was too late to apply for extra time and the continued awful teaching in Economics. This led me to get BBB in my exams instead of the 3A*s I was predicted. I could have got better than BBB if I began revision earlier but not 3A-stars as I would have still been disadvantaged in my exams due to a lack of extra time.

I thus lost my Cambridge offer and my insurance offer but didn’t want to go through Clearing so took a gap year to retake my exams + take some extra A-levels to prove my capability since I feel I have a score to settle to prove my potential. I got a private tutoring agency to give my mock exams at the beginning of the year, and I got 3A-stars again. This private tutoring agency factored in my needed extra time which is why I was able to achieve my true potential. The fact that I was able to go from BBB to 3A-stars between just June and September shows that I’m not lying.

I retook the LNAT exam (for law at some universities) and it went really well. I really wanted to reapply to Oxbridge but I was scared that they wouldn’t consider my resits. This has all been explain in the other thread I made about making a big mistake concerning the Foundation Year and my gap year etc.

The underlying theme to all of this is that I feel that I am someone with a lot of potential. I don’t intend to say this in a braggadocious manner; but simply to prove my point. Hence, me being part of Gifted and Talented and always doing well academically. The other underlying theme to all of this is that I feel my potential has not been able to fully materialise and that’s why I can come across as obsessed with Oxbridge because under ordinary circumstances like having a better Economics teacher and being diagnosed earlier with Autism and so getting the extra time I needed would have enabled me to meet my Cambridge offer and get the A-level and GCSE grades I was capable of.

The fact that I managed to even get a Cambridge offer proves that when things have been fair for me such as how I wasn’t at a disadvantage during the admissions test or interview, I was able to perform to my true abilities and get an offer.

I don’t want to have to settle by going to a different university or a Cambridge Foundation Year and that’s why I find my current position confusing and upsetting. I also feel as though certain people don’t trust me when I explain this to them hence me starting this thread.