Safe place for those who don't enjoy christmas (for whatever reason).

[ueberlin2030]

A safe space to express how you feel this festive season, without judgement, whether you feel this way every year or are just struggling/having a hard time this year.
If you do enjoy christmas then feel free to comment as long as it's kind and not telling us why we should enjoy christmas too.
I'm not 100% sure why I don't enjoy it, and haven't for a while, though I do have some thoughts which I'm trying to work through logically. 🙃

Goodness me. What an enormously brave thing you did. I went nc with my mum this year after 51 years of her narcissistic controlling behaviour include child abuse when I was little. My aunty said she would support me if I wanted to make a police report against my step dad and it absolutely terrified me. You are so brave. Am so so sorry what you and you db went through xx

So sorry. Make a booking today for somewhere ELSE for next Christmas

Ah this thread is full of people who have deeply traumatic reasons to not like Xmas. I hope it hasn’t been too difficult.

I’m just grumpy and cynical. However I will just add to my previous post about hating the excess of it all…

I really dislike the introduction of the elf, the over commercial markets, Xmas Eve box and today I am reminded that I hate the ‘Boxing Day Walk’. Years ago my parents and siblings would go for a walk on BD, at the beach near me ,nice and not too busy. Now it’s like bloody Piccadilly Circus. I live in the main route to a nice walk and if I don’t see another gang of people with puffa coats, bobble hats and obligatory coffee cups, it won’t be a day too soon! And don’t even mention the gangs of swimmers and their dry robes.

its not like I’m against these things per se but they have become a huge cliche and everyone follows the trend. Like sheep.

Rant over.

Thankyou. I did it out of love for the little child. No-one deserves that and I didn't want them to have my life.

Yes all the cliches are cringe

Anyone else feeling a weight off their minds today?! I know I am! 😄

I really wish I enjoyed Christmas - but I get a visceral anxiety reaction a couple of days, feel physically ill in the run up... And I do my best to keep it simple, just DH and I and food and drink and a few pressies we choose ourselves... and I do make an effort to be cheery... but I think it goes back to my family always having a bust up at special occasions when I was a kid...

I feel a lot happier and calmer today, but exhausted from all the emotional 'masking' I've had to do... I'm actually thinking seriously of getting hypnosis or something for next year to break the anxiety conditioning... 🤔

'I really wish I enjoyed Christmas - but I get a visceral anxiety reaction a couple of days, feel physically ill in the run up... And I do my best to keep it simple, just DH and I and food and drink and a few pressies we choose ourselves... and I do make an effort to be cheery... but I think it goes back to my family always having a bust up at special occasions when I was a kid...'

I've had an epiphany reading this post. I am not a Christmas fan but for the last few years it has been just me and DP having a quiet period together, with no pressure to go anywhere or see anyone - just how we both like it. I STILL find December absolutely suffocating and upsetting, and I honestly wasn't sure why, but your post has reminded me that of course the body remembers. Just the word 'Christmas' reminds me of all the miserable, anxiety-ridden visits to family and in-laws, which I would spend months dreading and resenting. I don't do that anymore, but the associated emotions can't just be easily dumped. Thank you for reminding me of that, it's really helpful ❤️

I am very very sorry for your loss. 💐

😅 Thank you for the update, I was really feeling for you! 10 hours! Little madam, eh...

Aw thanks. It's small fry compared to the very real trauma so many on this thread have experienced, but yesterday was horrid. Today she's prancing round with her siblings like nothing happened.

I don't talk about this much (irl anyway) but the SA when I was 14 happened around Christmas and that's why I get apprehensive (I think that's the right term) when ppl start on about this being the "festive" season and the best time of the year etc. I try not to rain on anybody's parade sts but it just hits me sometimes.

I have a poor relationship with Christmas, my mother died at Christmas many years ago before I had kids, it wasn't the same afterwards, always twinged with grief.

As the kids have grown out of the toys and magic stage it's back to dwelling on the passing years.

Elderly parents in law to entertain doesn't help, I feel like next year I want to be away from home just to avoid the enforced get together where I do all the work to provide everyone else with a great Christmas.

Anyone got any ideas what I could next year to avoid it?

Single parent and 3 teen DC…

I’m sorry for those who have suffered real trauma related to Christmas, sending love to you all💐

For me, I just think I resent any kind of forced experience and I resent the implication everyone should be happy because it’s Christmas! I’ve spent more than 30 years working in mental health too so I see the stark reality for many which is so different.

I feel a huge sense of relief it’s over and I don’t have to fake anything anymore. I can go back to work, grumble and get on with things!

I would love to go away for Christmas but I think I’d struggle to persuade my adult dses to come and work gets in the way for me.

We are going to dd's favourite place next year for a.week. not a notable holiday destination but that's what we are doing.

We went on a walk yesterday- all of 4-5 miles- utterly deserted. As we came to the end, we hit the lane between the village and the picturesque harbour half a mile away and were suddenly caught up in the bobble hatted hordes (it was 12 degrees C 🙄), immensely pleased with themselves and their round trip walk of about a mile 😆

I think I can really identify with this @Compash and I am sorry that your past has left you with this legacy.

My parents have a horrible relationship with alcohol and even when things aren't going awry I become wracked with anxiety and hyper-vigilant. I'm a grown adult but the memories rob me of any joy on Christmas Day and I'm constantly alert for signs that the shit is going to hit the fan. Yesterday I found myself constantly thinking about my best escape route if tempers flared.

I have come to terms with not enjoying Christmas Day, plus never feeling comfortable around my parents. The relief I felt yesterday once I'd loaded DC and Ddog into my car to leave for home was huge and that moment was the most joyful of the entire day.

All the problems I had in the run up to Christmas are still here - they are largely out of my control although I'm doing what I can to mitigate the fallout.
I'm glad Christmas is done though - I want to pack away all the decorations but can't as I'm trying to maintain a 'normal' environment for the DC.

Sorry to hear that @HopingForTheBest25, I really do hope things do improve for you in 2025.

I felt almost suffocated by Christmas and the expectation to be happy and I feel immense relief it’s over. 2024 was awful for me for various reasons but I did resolve a major issue in changing my job and although I'm still adapting to life without my big bro, we made it through our first Christmas without him and I will be embracing his spirit in 2025 and trying to do more things that challenge or interest me.

Thank you @Doyouthinktheyknow
I hope 2025 is better for you too and for everyone who is having a tough time right now

I’m relieved it’s over. I’m looking forward to January and getting back into my routine. I want to get back into healthy eating, yoga… and only drinking on weekends!

I went back to work today, just for a little normality. I'm self employed so it's not the same as for others, but unlocking my studio and rummaging for what I need for my project felt great. I've now come home to work, but I'm doing something creative so yay!