Safe place for those who don't enjoy christmas (for whatever reason).

[ueberlin2030]

A safe space to express how you feel this festive season, without judgement, whether you feel this way every year or are just struggling/having a hard time this year.
If you do enjoy christmas then feel free to comment as long as it's kind and not telling us why we should enjoy christmas too.
I'm not 100% sure why I don't enjoy it, and haven't for a while, though I do have some thoughts which I'm trying to work through logically. 🙃

Christmas isn't for those of us who had an unwanted divorce.
My ex H has forever ruined it for me
I'm sad because I used to love it as a child and as a young adult and when we used to be a family.
Now it's just triggering and desolate when the kids have gone to my ex.
In future Christmases I will be by myself when my one close relative passes away, and the kids go to their dad.
Hate hate hate it

Being told I SHOULD be enjoying it is a huge part of the problem. I'm a quiet person. I really prefer quiet and the non stop noise of the last few months of the year is excruciating. Noise is everywhere. I use Instagram for work and can hardly stand it any more, everyone adds bloody music to everything. I long for the past, the libraries where you were shh-sh'd and cafes where conversations were murmurs and the ambience of recognised quiet places was respected. Now, they're all full of shrieking banshees and music that makes me feel like I'm being assaulted. Christmas is just another attack on my sanity.

I really object to the inference that Christmas is all about "family". What if you're not close to them? My mum has been gone 14 years, I'm single and childless. I hate the pressure to be happy and everything to be perfect. I hate the empty feeling, that I'm somehow not normal because I'm not surrounded by family.

What was th3 weather like? We are thinking of booking a holiday to cover us for the festive period

I'm indifferent towards Christmas. I get very bored since i don't involve myself with any of the bullshit around the mad season. I dont watch TV at any time and only listen to R4 or playback so no ads. I have a close family and we see each other regularly so no need for special gatherings on THE day. No kids, parents now gone.

So greetings from Southern Spain where you'd hardly notice it's THAT time of year and the sun has got his hat on. Lucky that we can be here so ahem, Feliz Navidad

I’ve not liked Christmas for a while now, which is sad as I loved it so much as a child (back in the seventies- it would bear no resemblance to the Christmas madness of today). I like some aspects still: trees, carols and sending cards. But that’s about it really. The cars queuing to get into supermarket car parks actually shocked me a bit. It’s like this collective madness has descended. But this year is particularly awful as I’m mid divorce. I am counting the days till January. Solidarity everyone.

This is how I feel about it. It is one fucking day and people spend all October, November, and the first 24 days in December talking about it and planning for it. It's the pressure, the fake "togetherness", the happy families, and just all the shite around it.

I used to like Christmas, but as I've got older and my family have grown up, I find myself disenchanted with it, I dislike the consumerism, the forced jollity, the whole Christmas chaos being forced on you as early as September. I find myself scaling it back more and more each year. This year, I've reduced how much I've bought, presents, food, decorations, etc, not gone overboard and it has been a lot less stressful, we order a curry, as no one wants a traditional Christmas dinner, so don't have that to contend with, and we eat out on Christmas Eve. By the 27th the tree will be down, and everything will be back to normal, we don't celebrate NYE, so every thing is over and done with quite quickly.

I have been ill for 4 weeks with this flu thing and had to work right through so I am not just tired I m physically and emotionally exhausted. I don't want to do it and have scaled it right down.

Money and vouchers for family etc and no special food for me. I don't eat Christmas dinner anyway as I m vegetarian. My son and his gf are making their own dinner and my daughter is working (police) so I won't even see her till it's over.

I can't even taste food properly still. I want a cuddle with the cats a rest and a drive out to some local woods for a gentle walk.

A saying I live by in tough times is "it will be all right one day. Just not today".

Still prone to crying and sleeping a lot and not myself.

I look forward to January although hardly anyone else does. I have a birthday then and the days get longer gradually.

I do have a little tree up with twinkly lights though, that bit is lovely.

I hear you!
I have family but not close to (emotionally) to spend Xmas with them, I used to with one set many years ago, the morning would start lovely but by midday/early afternoon there would be bitter furious arguments and the day would be wrecked. Repeated annually. I stopped going.
The best Xmas holidays I have had have been with friends or acquaintances, not family. Those have fallen away as friends became parents/grandparents and now most years I am by myself. Plan to go away next year as I have had enough.

Oops my message was in response to this post, accidentally removed it when posting!

Pissing with rain in Fez, deep snow in the Middle Atlas, gloriously warm and sunny in the Sahara Desert 😆 It's a diverse country in many ways- not least climatically.

Hate it with a passion. It takes up a third of the year now. I do everything, spend a fortune, deal with all the family waifs and strays, manage everyone’s effing moods, walk on eggshells, spend all day every day of the holidays cooking, cleaning, shopping, washing, can’t escape it - can’t wait for it to be over every single year.

I used to love Christmas. I have such lovely memories of Christmas as a child, teen and young adult. My parents made them so lovely - presents but not too consumerist, real tree, decorated house, small family but all got on.

Sadly it's gone downhill and i now find it tough. Largely due to awful dp who is permanently grumpy and manages to spoil everything, every year. He hates socialising and my family (for no reason), so is rude or ignores any guests that come over. It's gradually leaving me more isolated, and if I raise it, it leads to more arguments. I also worry re dc and what he is modelling to them. All Christmas work is left to me - im currently wrapping presents tonight whilst he is already asleep.

I have to fake happiness for dc sake, but I so wish he wasn't here.

My lovely df is dead and dm has dementia, and I miss them.so much.

I’m over it, normally I quite enjoy Christmas, it’s my birthday on Christmas too and I just cba, had a year of ill health with life being very much not normal for the year and I’m craving that normality back at this point, not Christmas lights up everywhere etc

Finally found my tribe ❤️

I want to be there! What temperature is it out of interest?

I would love to think that at some point there will be some push-back and thought this would happen post-covid when people missed out on seeing their families due to lockdowns. But social media doesn't help; Instagram is terrible for making me feel awful for not doing enough for the kids.

That Elf on a Shelf (which I personally despise) is only in the last 5? 10? years.

Christmas pyjamas seem quite new as well (though I actually do love themed and matching pyjamas!)

As do Christmas eve boxes. I'd never come across one till a couple of years ago and didn't realise they were A Thing. However I have heard others say that they were around when they were little!

It all makes me very uncomfortable. Along with many others, I have an estranged adult child. Posters on mumsnet often say, or imply, that estrangement of this kind must result from the child being abused. This was absolutely not the case, but I don’t want to get into it. Even before the estrangement though, I’m an introvert, so often find very sociable times overwhelming. DH and I will be spending time with another adult child, their spouse and my adult grandson, who are all lovely, but Christmas Day, it’s just us and the dogs. We will eat what we want (not a roast dinner) and then walk the dogs in woodland. Nevertheless, I’ll be glad when it’s over.

On behalf of myself, others and the environment, I also hate the manic commercialisation and ‘perfect family’ expectations!

Thank you @uueberlin2030 for starting this thread.
I used to love Christmas but I can't help but feel that the happy memories are fading with every year.

I still remember the excitement of family Christmas when I was younger but neither of my parents are alive and I miss them both at this time of year. Having young DCs meant that I did some of the things that I loved as a young person with them. Both are now older and less excitable!

Now we nearly always spend Christmas with DPs family. That should be lovely but for the last few years it hasn't felt like Christmas. We still enjoy the buildup at home but then it all seems to fall flat with a chilly atmosphere, a feeling that we're being judged or met with implied criticism, and a sense of a past and traditions that is lost. I'm sure it will be fine for the next few days but in my head I'm thinking about what we can do when we get home.

I hate the chaotic eating - cheese, nibbles, chocolate & wrong times of day.
I hate the chaotic drinking: too much baileys & port. Do I make the most of free drinks at work? Or do I abstain?

Plus chaotic money spending: presents then the sales, being paid too early in the month, then feeling the need to treat DCs. Nothing feels enough.

Like many of you, a life riddled with painful "seasons".

It should be banned before 15th Dec for the welfare of the county. Those same few songs that turn up on repeat should be banned.

Roll on approx. 3rd January.

A cloud of gloom descends on me as soon as I hear the first Christmas song... I absolutely hate it all.

Can't wait for it to be over. Have to put on a brave face for DD but even she's not that bothered. Not interested in decorating the tree or watching Christmas moves (thank god!)

Roll on January!

@MagicPen I quite agree; it needs to be banned before 15th Dec. So many people have Christmas fatigue by time the actual day comes around because it's been rammed down our throats for the best part of 2 months at this point. I'm heartily sick of it.

As someone who struggles with my weight, I absolutely hate the chaotic eating part too. All the rich foods at weird times of the day is just horrible and I find it really hard to avoid grazing...
I hate how even KFC has its own Christmas menu. It's just impossible to ignore Christmas-themed foods for so many weeks of the year now, right back into early November. Which makes Christmas harder to ignore, and for people like myself who are triggered by Christmas, this is not good for my mood.