Safe place for those who don't enjoy christmas (for whatever reason).

[ueberlin2030]

A safe space to express how you feel this festive season, without judgement, whether you feel this way every year or are just struggling/having a hard time this year.
If you do enjoy christmas then feel free to comment as long as it's kind and not telling us why we should enjoy christmas too.
I'm not 100% sure why I don't enjoy it, and haven't for a while, though I do have some thoughts which I'm trying to work through logically. 🙃

I am actually counting the days till my guests leave and I can chuck the tree in the loft and breathe a sigh of relief. Which I’m a bit ashamed about. Overkill is definitely part of it, as is all the spending. Most and nearly all of the work falls to me. I don’t enjoy Xmas at all anymore and have just recovered from COVID so am not very well organised this year.

Me too!! Is it a holiday let?

That’s sounds so tough. It sounds like you need a divorce really. Life’s too short to live like this.

This is exactly how I feel too.

I don’t hate it. I just like a simple version of it. I despise the way it’s forced in us from October onwards. The expectations and the sheer amount of waste.

i am having a Xmas dinner for me, the kids and parents but I haven’t spent a fortune on tons of food. There’s no need. The kids get nice presents but not loads. I cringe when I see the mountains of stuff bought by friends for their families. It’s endless buy, buy, buy.

I am pleased to find this thread. As soon as you suggest any negativity you’re seen as a Scrooge!

I have no spiritual link with it at all. I hate the expense. It was a bit better when DD was small but even then having to do the same Christmas rituals of my then-in laws every year was tedious.

Last Christmas was awkward because we'd split up but still lived together. We put on brave faces but it was awful. DD wasn't fooled. He's not there anymore. I'm trying to sell the place & move on.

I was thinking about spending this week in the Canaries but "money". So I'm spending it with my family instead. My DD is with her dad. I miss her.

As I work shifts, this week isn't even a BH but allocated leave. I'll take Christmas Day in late January 😂. I suppose a lack of any faith & my chaotic schedule has contributed to my feelings about Christmas. Though the snacks are nice.

So many sentiments here that echo my own.
In summary: I just cannot be arsed.

I actually am so glad reading the updates on this thread. I feel like a bahumbag but I am exhausted, fed up with the work, expense and sheer consumerism of Christmas. I am sick of endless charities asking me for money or gifts (often to give to those that have far more money than me but whose lifestyle choice mean there kids are bottom of there priorities).

I have already had a rant. Thankfully Christmas eve is a relaxed affair in our house. We are going to see Santa and do sleigh VR experience. The oldest is less than impressed (he is 12) but I think the VR experience will mean he enjoys it. The middle child is switching on Santa so next year it will just be the youngest getting a Santa trip.

I seriously may book a trip to fly out with the family on boxing day. My mum expects to come every boxing day as she always prioritises her dh family over her own kids and grandkids. I don't mind that some years but every year for the last 15 pretty much says a lot!!!

The days are just lovely, bright blue skies and sunny. Temps between 17 - 20 this week, so its perfect weather for walking and doing things in the fresh air, really lifts the spirits. It doesn't get dark until 6pm which is SO good for the Winter blues.

I have to say though that once dark the temps drop considerably, but thats when we head out for a bite to eat. We have reverse air con so the place is warm at night.

We are very lucky, my sis and bil own it and never use it at this time of year as they have kids and grandkids who want Santa at home!

Highly recommend getting away although I know not everyone can or wants to either.

'Have some fruit cake'
'I don't like fruit cake'
'Gwan, it's Christmas'

'Have some wine'
'I don't like wine, I pretty much never drink anyway'
'Gwan, it's Christmas'

'Have a chocolate'
'I had one 5 minutes ago'
'Gwan, it's Christmas'

'Have some [whatever]'
'I don't like/do/want [whatever]'
'Gwan, it's Christmas'

JUST FUCK OFF.

Hey everyone! I had completely miserable Christmases as a kid and spent a fair few Christmas days alone when I got into my 20s so Christmas for me isn't a great time of year even though I'm in a much better place now.

I have 2 kids (pretty much adults now) so I've tried to make it as lovely as possible for them over the years. But honestly, now I just want to go somewhere warm and Christmas-free for a couple of weeks. I hate all the bloody illnesses leading up to Christmas, the money spent (£65 on a Christmas tree, £55 on a Turkey is ridiculous), the shit weather, everything really. But I'd love time off work without all this nonsense.

I also feel disingenuous as this is a religious holiday and I have no faith.

This is me exactly. It will just be me, DH and DC for the entire period. On the one hand, we get to do things exactly as we like, but it can be lonely and cabin-feverish at times. (Though during Covid when everyone was moaning about lockdown Christmas, I felt like nothing was different!)

Thank you for this thread. I don't hate Christmas but am struggling this year with fatigue and a weird low level anxiety bubbling away. Just don't feel like doing anything. Normally I clean the house like a ninja but I just can't be bothered. Husband is a church musician and he has been working every weekend through December. He over did it this Sunday with two services at two churches and was out all day. Consequently he is worn out and on a super go slow. It's midnight tonight and the blinking cathedral has the service really late. They start just before midnight rather than end at just past midnight. We will both be knackered when we get back. Then we need to walk the dog first thing and then cooking and prepping. Just fed up and can't be arsed. Also worrying about NY. Dog is terrified of fireworks. I get really triggered now by this - stupidly so. I'm actually abandoning husband and dog to go to my mother's but am still anxious and feeling guilty.

'Looking forward to January. A clean start, cold clear days, beautiful pink and blue sunsets, quiet and calm.'

Reading this makes me feel calmer already ☺️ I live in London and last January was a STUNNER! Nearly every day was cold, blue skies and sunshine. Absolute heaven. I have time off work over Christmas and I'm certainly not wishing that away, but I really do look forward to the peace and quiet in January

Might start a thread celebrating January in a few days time! A safe space for January lovers when everyone else is complaining about the weather and being broke ☺️

Dh has Christmas carols playing in the living room 😭 it's going right through me and I feel like screaming. We've been together 25 years and he still doesn't really know the intensity with which I hate Christmas. It's getting harder and harder to hide it.

Thank you for this thread, I've stopped going to other people's houses and only have my adult children visiting.
Last year I decided to stop buying presents for them (anxiety related) and they don't for me, (they have enough to buy for their dad's side of the family) so Christmas now feels safe and gently exciting.
Just lots of fairy lights, a Christmas tree, nice food, Church service this evening and then watching a film together, that's all we manage and seems enough.

I totally get it. My husband is listening to Christmas music, I have headphones on watching something else. It's companionable, he knows how I feel and I know how much he enjoys it so I would never stop him.

Please don't put yourself through it. There's trauma there somewhere. I know where mine is and I can't get over it - so I go around it as best I can. Do something else, listen to whatever else gets you through.

Sorry for those who are triggered by Xmas. As I said up thread, I don’t hate it but hate the excess. It’s possible to have a simple Xmas and so far I’ve managed it.

I used the same potted tree I have had for last 3 years, used any wrapping paper I had around so didn’t buy special Xmas stuff, only bought for DH and DC. Got some nice food in but didn’t go crazy.

it will be nice and quiet. We will eat, walk dog and watch a bit of TV. No tons of visitors or schlepping around to relatives.

Really struggling this year, autistic DD can't cope with the disruption and the pressure, her big brother is angry and frustrated because he can't do what he wants because of her limitations, family are over visiting and I can't get out to see them because I'm too busy trying to manage her mood so that we all just might survive Christmas day without an epic meltdown. It's not her fault but nobody really understands that because she was diagnosed late and for years they just regard her as awkward. Plus I feel guilty that I can't get over to help the elderly parents with their prep. I just want it all to be over.😭

I like Christmas and always have but I don't enjoy it as am on eggshells due to family dynamics.

Trigger Warning!

I used to love Christmas.

Then out of the blue my teen DS took his own life.

I have other younger DC, so at this time of year I am wearing a mask, but inside something in me died along with my boy.

I am so very very sorry. I can't imagine how especially hard this time of year must be for you

Sense of absolute dread is now falling over the house as it's dawned on myself and the DCs that they have to go to their dad's for over a week, starting the day after tomorrow.

Not looking forward to it at all.

Not looking forward to having to explain where DCs are, when I'm out and about, and I bump into acquaintances from school and they ask where the little ones are.

It's like a big fuck-off cloud.

I have a feeling of dread too, but different reasons.

Not hosting as such but we have people in for breakfast and exchanging gifts. It'll be low key but I'm still feeling stressed about what to serve, will they like their gifts etc.

Years and years of having to make Christmas happen for others has done this to me. Even now, when this pressure is all mine I can't shake it. I'd love to just hide now or run away

Aww I'm so sorry to read this. Huge hugs ((())) xx