Safe place for those who don't enjoy christmas (for whatever reason).

[ueberlin2030]

A safe space to express how you feel this festive season, without judgement, whether you feel this way every year or are just struggling/having a hard time this year.
If you do enjoy christmas then feel free to comment as long as it's kind and not telling us why we should enjoy christmas too.
I'm not 100% sure why I don't enjoy it, and haven't for a while, though I do have some thoughts which I'm trying to work through logically. 🙃

This is exactly how I feel. I don’t know why we make such a massive sodding deal of it in this country. It’s total overkill. By December I’m sick of it all.

I HATE the overspending the most. People paying hundreds of pounds before they’ve even bought presents taking their kids to ‘magical’ events like light trails, pantos and Winter Wonderland-type palavers. It’s capitalist consumerism at its ugliest.

All of this is not helped by having a Baby Boomer mum who every year tells us how magical her 1950s Christmas was and is constantly trying to recreate it.

She thinks I don’t like Christmas because I get stressed out trying to make it ‘perfect’ but I actually do the bare minimum! I’m just bored with it.

I would also love to go abroad but unfortunately have DC who really want to celebrate Christmas here so I am stuck.

Otherwise I would be off.

I loved Christmas as a child and in my early teens. Then in the December when I was 15 I was seriously ill and life changed so much. I have been married twice, and during those years Christmas was lovely with extended family and friends. I had two DC who also loved Christmas. Gradually my family all passed away, except my DC and my brother in law. He ignores Christmas.
Now I have been divorced, then widowed and 3 years ago my best friend died just before Christmas. My DC are adults. One loves Christmas. The other isn't bothered about it. I'd like to ignore it completely. Would be happy to go away somewhere lovely instead.
I can't wait for it to be over.

I really don’t like what Christmas has become. I would probably like it if it was a lot more toned down, but I hate the whole “perfect day” thing. Why should we have to have a perfect day? Why should everyone stuff themselves senseless with food and drink? It makes no sense to me.
I hate Christmas jumpers, flashing lights everywhere, the spending, the chaos. Sending cards to people . Why? If I opt out it will offend people. Effing hate Christmas markets. I hate Slade and I hate being forced into Christmas. Can’t I walk down the street and into a shop without having tinsel shoved into my face at every turn. It’s the way Christmas gets everywhere and into everything… on tv, the radio, in shops, on streets, everywhere I look.

Ahh. Feel a bit better for letting that all out.

That's good, OP. 👍
Just myself and my husband (75), cold, dark, rainy days....
Tired due to a thyroid condition and a period, which just started 🙄
Don't really enjoy either mince pies, Christmas pudding or all the other sweets things, too heavy.
Prepare a "roast on steroids" after tomorrow, eat just couple of bits. Neither of us drinks alcohol.
Just feeling a bit deflated and the feeling from childhood is definitely gone.
Husband said it well - Christmas resides in the hearts of kids!
🌲

99% of Christmas songs make me sad/angry/anxious, but especially the one where "everyone's telling you be of good cheer." Well, no thanks. Absolute rage at that instruction.
From the change in routines that seem like nothing i.e. things I normally have on telly around tea time for the kids, quiz shows that they like, all up the spout and replaced with Christmas films or Christmas specials of one thing or another. To the absolute boredom for teenagers who don't enjoy all the jollity of Christmas, and knowing that there won't be any happy lit-up faces on Christmas morning, just me being anxious that what I have for for them is ok and not completely the wrong thing. My two never ask for anything and get worried if they think I've spent too much, or that the new things are going to cause more clutter, so I can't really enjoy getting them presents. There are many more things, mostly the tension in my family knowing how unhappy my marriage is but trying to navigate the day in a polite way that won't cause any bad feelings. I woke up this morning with a real sense of dread knowing Wednesday is fast approaching and I have no idea what the plan is. One lovely positive thing that's happened is that there was a five minute blizzard at midnight the other night, and I stood in my kids' bedroom with DS17 watching out of the window as if it was a tiny bit of Christmas magic that we could both enjoy. Apart from that, I cannot wait for January. Sending understanding nods to those of you who find all of this hard.

I usually quite enjoy Christmas is an understated way, but this year I had flu from the start of December and haven’t felt the mojo at all. I haven’t bothered with a Christmas tree for the first time ever. Got some greenery on the mantelpiece which I’ve put up just today. Going to DD’s and her partner for Christmas dinner which will be lovely, but will be happy to be home and in bed.

Can’t. Be. Arsed.

I suffer from the same as a recent previous poster - fine in the build up but weirdly flat and slight feeling of dread from tonight until boxing day is well under way. I hid it with smiles but spend the whole time wondering where my xmas spirit has buggered off to!

Been like it for a few years now.

I've got nothing to actually worry about. I'm all ready and always quite enjoy the getting ready. Presents wrapped and under the tree. Nice food all in various stages of thawing out ect. But i feel that 'over it' feeling creeping in this evening just as the rest of the family is reaching peak excitement ...

I think i've just answered my own question.

For years and years it's been all about the prep. I have lists and i get it all done. It's me who makes about 8/9 other people's xmases special. And when that prep is all done, and i'm at the top of the hill and i'm pretty much there - i've just got to let the ball go- xmas it'self is a weird after thought.

I've put so much energy into the prep i've forgotten how to enjoy the actual event.

I suffered severe birth trauma when DD2 was born and had to be blue lighted back in for horrible treatment on Xmas Eve. They sent her (4 days old) home with her father as she was bottle fed (I have no milk ducts, its not like a had a choice!) and they were short staffed. I have never been so unhappy.

Ever since then I have suffered flashbacks at this time of year and was diagnosed with PTSD. Kind of managed it ok when the kids were young, six kids meant that Xmas was chaotic and I didnt really have much time to think about it. But since they have all grown up and gone their own ways its just me and DD4 at home now. And I just get so down. Its not because it was at Xmas per se but the fact that I cant just put it to the back of my mind. The music, the decorations, that fact that Xmas is everywhere means I cant forget about it, there are constant reminders. I just want it all to be over.

I was looking forward to it but Dh has had a mental breakdown and is about to lose his job. My dad is seriously ill. I am stressed about money and how the bills are going to get paid!
I just can't feel any joy. It's like I'm watching a parallel life - the one I should be living but I'm on the sidelines. I feel cut off from normal society as I just can't feel any happiness.

I don't completely hate it like some folk, but don't particularly enjoy it either.
I find the explosion of consumerism really depressing.
We do celebrate but keep it very low key, pizza and movie Xmas eve, just us and the kids having a roast on Xmas day- no other major traditions or anything, picky bits and a film or board game night on NYE.
I'm really looking forward to the second week of the holidays (I've got a fortnight off) and just being cost at home, pottering about etc.

Dreaded it for years as I don't see my family and it was just a reminder of all the sad things that have happened. Have reached a point where I'm sort of neutral about it and see it as an excuse to eat nice food. Always a bit relieved when it's over though.

I enjoyed childhood christmases but have disliked christmas for the last twenty plus years. In my case, it is mostly due to competing family obligations and expectations, and also the commercialisation of it. This year we are hardly bothering at all, no decorations up, hardly any presents bought.

I absolutely loathe the way the minute Halloween is over, it's "the festive season". All of November has now got caught up in Xmassy things when it's its own month, dammit. Friend with a November birthday is especially put out by this as she feels, quite rightly, that her birth month has been somehow hijacked by the Xmas behemoth. Decorations up when she goes to the pub to celebrate her birthday etc.
The adverts drive me insane.
The people in the office who start saying "can we say the C word yet?!" also annoy me though I know I'm being a bit of a grouch.
It is nice to know I'm not alone in not enjoying Christmas x

@crackofdoom my best Christmas was in the Morroccan Sahara, rolling down sand dunes and no one mentioning the C word.

I too had a shit childhood and can't bear it either. I always feel like I'm on the outside looking in at all the people with their competitive busy-ness and 'getting their last bits.' nonsense.

I have to try and pull it out of the bag for the kids but the reality is that Christmas makes me feel like I'm in a twinkly prison and I just want to run for the hills. I hate sitting down inside with the heating on. I feel hijacked and want my freedom back!

I wonder if this xmas mania that has it starting earlier and earlier (Xmas displays alongside the Halloween decs in B&M this year!) is starting to get to more and more people as I have noticed a definite decrease in people putting decorations up. We havent bothered as none of the kids were originally going to be here, so there didnt seem much point for me to sat in a house on my own decorated for an event I hate! I know quite a few who either arent bothering or are just having a small tree and thats it.

Regarding decorations in pubs, a lot of the chains have to have their decorations up by a certain date, we certainly do, as set by "up high"...no not Jesus, our CEO thinks he is more important than that.

I have never really felt very present in my life. Just a sense of going through the motions and Christmas amplifies this feeling. I try very hard for DC but DD7 is a tricky customer. I enjoy lots of parts of Christmas though in theory but as mentioned above I feel like in doing it because I have to.
it also starts far too early. Even DD said it seems like we’ve already had Christmas this year.

I hate it, having to smile and be with people all day long, it drains me so badly, I just can't wait till I can leave go home pjs on and chill, I do however love Boxing Day as it's less pressure and Xmas is done for a whole year again.

I have such mixed emotions this year. I have my partner and my wonderful child to celebrate with, but I feel a sadness for those family members who are now gone. This year I also feel a yearning for a big happy family which is something I've never had. I think there is something about Christmas that makes me feel this very acutely. I need to focus my energy into my small family, but a sadness lingers.

Oh I'm in also expected to spit myself into a million pieces to see everyone , what is love is to just way home with my son and enjoy the day that would be my ideal Xmas day, had that awful bug for a while that is still lingering and I just want to chill

I hate it this year. I can't wait for the 27th when I have no one here and no food to prepare.
It's so much hard work and it all falls to me. I'm knackered and grumpy and my back hurts.
I used to love it but not anymore I just can't be arsed. I would love to go away and lie on a beach somewhere til it's all over.

Not a fan !!
Well I don't mind it for 3 days. I like the food, trees , Church music ( despite being an atheist !!) and the 2 weeks off school.

It's the stupid build up from October that bugs me .
I just can't see what the fuss is about . The noise, the music , the waste , the ridiculous gift swapping . I'm a teacher and the noise and madness has been going on for 3 weeks now meaning kids are emotionally and physically over wrought .

I do make an effort though as I have 5 teens/young adults . I buy all the food from M and S and all the gifts from Amazon so it's no hassle whatsoever .

We go skiing after Christmas and I just see Christmas as something to be 'done with' so we can head off on holiday.

Everything about it is triggering. Too many memories, people I've lost, abuse, trauma, feelings I can't cope with.

We had a Yule feast yesterday after attending a druid ritual with a lovely Grove of other druids on Saturday.

I've been wearing headphones to go anywhere, to avoid hearing the music.

It's tricky because I have a 2 year old. We follow druid/pagan pathway so we give gifts to her on the 21st and my husband dresses up as the Holly King. He wore a beautiful felted mask and changed his voice.

It was short, sweet and meaningful. We have an Oak log which we have decorated in holly and yew and a candle to burn throughout Yule.

So for us, it's actually done and dusted.

Tomorrow at about 3pm I'm going to hit Aldi for all the cheap veg, fruit and meat to put in the freezer.

We have sent no cards, put up no tree or anything else.

I've still managed to cry and been incredibly overwhelmed and down in the dumps this last week though, with a strong urge to run away and hide.

Autism overload and too peopley and smiling at people I'd rather throw a roast potato at ( hot one ).