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Come and have a laugh at my ex husband of you need cheering up!

615 replies

Mydogisamassivetwat · 18/12/2024 12:10

Ds was planning to visit his dad at some point over Christmas. Looking at trains last night, they were absolutely extortionate and for two days, inc 10 hour travel time, it wasn’t worth the price.

Ex h has gone mental. Sent me a text last night saying that as I chose to move so far away from him, it’s my responsibility, and I should bring ds to him for contact. I have to drive him or pay the train fare. He’s going to “take advice” on next steps.

Ds is 22 years old. Yes, twenty-two. Not two. A grown man.

Has his own job, didn’t know when his leave would be until last night so couldn’t plan in advance, and to be honest, he’s a grown arse adult who is working Christmas Day anyway and what he does with his free time and his money is no longer any of my business.

I am wondering on what these next steps will be? Solicitor, perhaps? Or maybe he will go for full custody? I mean, ds lives with his girlfriend now, so I presume it’s her he would take to court, not me? Or perhaps their landlord? Who knows!

Oh and I know I’ll get asked why he still has my contact details. It’s because, every so often, he will do something batshit like this and honestly, I find it hilarious. When ds was 18, he said he was going to court for full custody and was contacting solicitors as ds didn’t want to go to uni, so this is nothing new, the man is just a fucking idiot. I tell him to let me know how it goes and then ignore him.

OP posts:
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SeatonCarew · 18/12/2024 12:50

Can I nominate this for Classics?

Hoppinggreen · 18/12/2024 12:51

AVeryCovidChristmas · 18/12/2024 12:49

I bloody love your let me know how it goes reply OP. Well done for staying cool and holding firm. Congulations on getting through it!

I am going to steal that phrase for use with my Narc brother next time he kicks off.
He was going to get an injunction to stop me doing the Ancestry DNA kit DH bought me for a laugh because if I did "his DNA would also be in the system"

SauvignonBlonk · 18/12/2024 12:52

This is comedy gold OP, thanks so much for sharing. Laughed out loud at this!

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

rainbowruthie · 18/12/2024 12:52

Brilliant - thanks for sharing!

catlesslady · 18/12/2024 12:52

This reminds me of my arsehole brother who (when he had my contact details) used to phone with a tirade of abuse and then end with 'I shall see you in court!'. For what, I was never entirely sure as he was usually complaining about me refusing to lend him money, lie for him, or otherwise get dragged in to his chaotic life.

Tracystubbs · 18/12/2024 12:54

Mydogisamassivetwat · 18/12/2024 12:43

Oh God, there is more than one of him!

Ds and his girlfriend lived with us for a year, as we are fortunate to have a little annexe/studio type thing, until they moved into their own place a few months ago. That was the last time he waded in. He didn’t think it was appropriate that ds was sharing a room with his girlfriend (both 21 years old), and that he would be contacting social services as ds has two younger siblings in the house. I told him to let me know how it goes….

Dds then boyfriend moved in with us as he wasn't getting on with his mother

Exactly the same threat about ss

'It's disgusting that you've allowed her to move her boyfriend in!I'm phoning my lawyer and ss!'

They where both 22

Same bloke tried to ring ss because he wanted his kids to be dressed in new designer clothing but I bought their stuff from charity shops

Tried again when he found put I wasn't feeding them brand named/finest foods and they had clarks shoes on their feet-he wanted start-rite

Won't amaze anyone that he didn't pay a penny for them

He's also pissed off that I slagged him off (I never have but kids are not daft) when they where young,so this huge,tearful,hearts and flowers reunion when they where old enough to find him didn't happen

(He has hunted me down to have a go at me and I was to tell them they HAD to speak to him in the street and not walk past him,while ignoring him-they are simply doing what he did to them when they where growing up-they are 28 and 27 now-im not telling them to do anything-theyd just laugh at me)

Amuses me to this day,I'm just waiting on the next drama

Mrsbloggz · 18/12/2024 12:54

OP, this man is lucky that you are so restrained!
He's clearly a twit and in deep denial about his inadequacies and failures, it would be easy to wind him up so much that his head exploded😶

ARichtGoodDram · 18/12/2024 12:56

The joys of crazy exes.

Mine messaged me about a year ago to say that he would be taking me to family court for my “irresponsible behaviour” in the car that DD1 has.
That’ll be the car that Dd bought herself. To get to work in her post-uni job. In a different place to where I live…

His most recent best one is that he is taking me, his ex wife (partner after me) and his ex girlfriend (after the ex wife) to court to ban us from getting the children together…

which was actually my girls (mid 20s) and their siblings from the ex wife (teens) organising spending time with the younger siblings from the ex girlfriend. Nothing to do with me, or the ex wife really.
He has no contact with any of the children.

He has been quiet for a while since getting clobbered by CMs when his lies caught up with him!

Hoppinggreen · 18/12/2024 12:56

catlesslady · 18/12/2024 12:52

This reminds me of my arsehole brother who (when he had my contact details) used to phone with a tirade of abuse and then end with 'I shall see you in court!'. For what, I was never entirely sure as he was usually complaining about me refusing to lend him money, lie for him, or otherwise get dragged in to his chaotic life.

Mine usually goes with "you will be hearing from my Brief!"

Blisteringlycold · 18/12/2024 12:56

Let me know how it goes

Bloody brilliant

GremlinDolphin4 · 18/12/2024 12:57

Great thread OP! I have one of these ex-DHs too, wearisome but amusing. Too many stories to recount and yours is so good anyway but his most recent best was trying to get £1000 out of me via solicitors for not paying a £2.50 toll!! Xx

beAsensible1 · 18/12/2024 12:57

😂this gave me a hearty chuckle.

NCForSomeThings · 18/12/2024 12:58

“Okay, let me know how it goes” is genius! I can’t wait to use this 🤣

I forgot, ex wanted both of us to attend DS’s (16) college interview the other day.

It’s obviously a solo thing where the student chats to college representatives. It takes place in school time.

Again, another example of controlling buffoonery / needing to wade in and “sit down on next steps…”

It’s hilarious how these exes like to huff and puff

LatteLady · 18/12/2024 12:58

When does he plan to tell his son that Santa does not exist...

Does your husband have reins at his house, I mean if your son becomes overexcited, he will need some way of coralling him?

And does he have a blender for his food?

I could go on all day... what a plonker!

StarDolphins · 18/12/2024 12:58

I would text “depends what day you want him bringing as he’s got beavers Christmas party, panto and breakfast with Santa booked in for some of the days’

What a moron🤣

Lemonadeand · 18/12/2024 12:59

If you need a character reference for the court case, I’ll happily draw a picture that gives you a really nice smile although I don’t know what you look like I’ll do my best.

Mydogisamassivetwat · 18/12/2024 13:00

It was actually a therapist who advised me to give that reply to everything.

As you can imagine, he’s a difficult man, and when I got the guts to leave, he made life hard and I needed some help. I ended up having a few sessions with a lovely woman who advised me to reply in a completely no committal, non confrontational way, so that he couldn’t say I’d argued or that I wasn’t engaging with things regarding ds. So it was always, “let me know how it goes” or “noted”, anything just bland.

OP posts:
femfemlicious · 18/12/2024 13:01

These men are nuts...honestly!.

DiduAye · 18/12/2024 13:01

Oh that was a proper ROFL for me thanks!

Whyherewego · 18/12/2024 13:02

Mydogisamassivetwat · 18/12/2024 12:28

Oh, I’ve been sending the same reply for the 15 years we’ve been divorced to all his nonsense. “Okay, let me know how that goes.”

Then I ignore any further nonsense and it always dies down. Like the time when he said he had contacted a solicitor as he wanted receipts for every penny of maintenance money spent so that I would have to prove it was all spent on ds. His solicitor was going to be in touch. “Okay, let me know how it goes.” Funnily enough, I never did hear from that solicitor 🤣

Fucking twat.

That is an absolute brilliant response! Love it

femfemlicious · 18/12/2024 13:03

Deathraystare · 18/12/2024 12:25

Hilarious!

You should of course drive down there with him in the baby seat!!!!

And a bottle 🤣🤣🤣

DinDjarin1 · 18/12/2024 13:03

Mydogisamassivetwat · 18/12/2024 13:00

It was actually a therapist who advised me to give that reply to everything.

As you can imagine, he’s a difficult man, and when I got the guts to leave, he made life hard and I needed some help. I ended up having a few sessions with a lovely woman who advised me to reply in a completely no committal, non confrontational way, so that he couldn’t say I’d argued or that I wasn’t engaging with things regarding ds. So it was always, “let me know how it goes” or “noted”, anything just bland.

These two phrases are going to be my go to response in 2025 for anyone that is not worth engaging with. Thank you 😀

Latenightreader · 18/12/2024 13:04

I used to work for an MP and we had some interesting letters on occasion. We had a standard letter “Thank you for your recent letter [date and details] the content of which has been noted” for when we were left completely speechless.

Stepfordian · 18/12/2024 13:05

Tell him you haven’t received this months child support payment and you’ll buy the train ticket as soon as it lands in your bank 🤣

GabriellaMontez · 18/12/2024 13:05

So why did you leave him?!😂