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Come and have a laugh at my ex husband of you need cheering up!

615 replies

Mydogisamassivetwat · 18/12/2024 12:10

Ds was planning to visit his dad at some point over Christmas. Looking at trains last night, they were absolutely extortionate and for two days, inc 10 hour travel time, it wasn’t worth the price.

Ex h has gone mental. Sent me a text last night saying that as I chose to move so far away from him, it’s my responsibility, and I should bring ds to him for contact. I have to drive him or pay the train fare. He’s going to “take advice” on next steps.

Ds is 22 years old. Yes, twenty-two. Not two. A grown man.

Has his own job, didn’t know when his leave would be until last night so couldn’t plan in advance, and to be honest, he’s a grown arse adult who is working Christmas Day anyway and what he does with his free time and his money is no longer any of my business.

I am wondering on what these next steps will be? Solicitor, perhaps? Or maybe he will go for full custody? I mean, ds lives with his girlfriend now, so I presume it’s her he would take to court, not me? Or perhaps their landlord? Who knows!

Oh and I know I’ll get asked why he still has my contact details. It’s because, every so often, he will do something batshit like this and honestly, I find it hilarious. When ds was 18, he said he was going to court for full custody and was contacting solicitors as ds didn’t want to go to uni, so this is nothing new, the man is just a fucking idiot. I tell him to let me know how it goes and then ignore him.

OP posts:
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selffellatingouroborosofhate · 18/12/2024 13:26

Mydogisamassivetwat · 18/12/2024 13:00

It was actually a therapist who advised me to give that reply to everything.

As you can imagine, he’s a difficult man, and when I got the guts to leave, he made life hard and I needed some help. I ended up having a few sessions with a lovely woman who advised me to reply in a completely no committal, non confrontational way, so that he couldn’t say I’d argued or that I wasn’t engaging with things regarding ds. So it was always, “let me know how it goes” or “noted”, anything just bland.

That makes really good sense, thinking about it.

It's likely that one of ex-H's means of controlling you is to make you lose your temper by suckering you into an argument, so your therapist gave you this amazing tool that I wish I'd thought of myself to defend against that. I'm stealing it.

Devilsmommy · 18/12/2024 13:26

Mydogisamassivetwat · 18/12/2024 12:43

Oh God, there is more than one of him!

Ds and his girlfriend lived with us for a year, as we are fortunate to have a little annexe/studio type thing, until they moved into their own place a few months ago. That was the last time he waded in. He didn’t think it was appropriate that ds was sharing a room with his girlfriend (both 21 years old), and that he would be contacting social services as ds has two younger siblings in the house. I told him to let me know how it goes….

Fuck me the raging stupidity shows clearly why he's your ex 🤣

NonPlayerCharacter · 18/12/2024 13:26

He probably doesn't know how old your son is!

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Porkyporkchop · 18/12/2024 13:27

Oh thank you OP! I really needed this today. I actually belly laughed. Your ex is the gift that keeps on giving !!

good luck at the custody hearing 😂

Daisys24 · 18/12/2024 13:28

What makes this even more hilarious apart from the fact that DS is a grown man is that he doesn’t even live with you anymore 😂

GoldsolesLugs · 18/12/2024 13:28

Mydogisamassivetwat · 18/12/2024 13:23

We moved when ds finished A levels.

But that’s a red herring to be honest, as ex h worked abroad from before ds was born. When we were together, he came home at weekends, but when we split, He only saw him once every 4-6 weeks when he was in the country for the weekend, or he’d take ds away for a week in school holidays.

He kept the house and rented it out when I left, as he was never there. It’s only the last year or so he’s stopped working abroad and lives there full time. I could have moved when ds was little, it would have made no difference to contact, ds used to travel to be near the airport so he could see him for longer when he flew in.

Well in that case you pass my moral test 😂

Mydogisamassivetwat · 18/12/2024 13:29

Bettyboo111 · 18/12/2024 13:17

How far away is he? What a grown man would do is come a pick his son up and make a road trip chatting on the return journey.
What a prat.

It’s about a 2 hour drive. But obviously takes a lot longer on public transport - around 5 hours wirh the changes, which is why ds didn’t fancy all that money for a ten hour round trip for less than two days.

OP posts:
PineappleCoconut · 18/12/2024 13:30

Between this and the poster with the 27 year old needing her passport confiscating, so reminds my of my best friend's ex. She sadly died, or we'd still be cackling over messages like this. I like to think she's somewhere laughing now in relief at what she no longer has to deal with. Sadly their DC still does, last heard he was moving to
their university town to keep an eye on them.

SpookyHare · 18/12/2024 13:30

If you lose custody of DS will he be placed in foster care? Will his GF come to live there too? Will you get visitation rights? Mind boggling!

Frith2013 · 18/12/2024 13:32

The last time my ex spoke to my younger son was 7 years ago.

My son was then 14.

My ex had a huge go at him outside my house (dropping him off) and said he had to continue visiting and staying EOW. He then made the mistake of telling my son he would "take him to court" to make him go .

I don't think I've ever used this expression before but my son tore him a new arsehole including "How do you think you're going to take a child to court?" and "How much do you think that will cost you? A pound?!"

I remember standing there with my older son feeling impressed and my older son saying "Ooooooo"!

Miepmiep · 18/12/2024 13:33

I know one of these…

They actually applied to the family court to demand their 30 something “child” leave their partner and they should have the DGC to stay every weekend and half the holidays.

Allthehorsesintheworld · 18/12/2024 13:34

Just spat my yoghurt everywhere. 22 and it’s your responsibility to take him for “ contact”. 😅 Upside is this would give all Court staff a good laugh.

OopsyDaisie · 18/12/2024 13:35

MrsSunshine2b · 18/12/2024 13:09

I was thinking that if you've moved 10 hours away it probably is your responsibility to facilitate contact...and then I got to the bit where he's 22. 😂

Same here I was reading the first lines thinking well maybe YABU and then, he is 22! LMAOL
And some of the other posts are having me in stitches too!

namechangedforthisquestion1 · 18/12/2024 13:36

Fabulous Grin what an arsewipe!

Isatis · 18/12/2024 13:37

Your ex's solicitors must love him, OP. I bet when he asks for an appointment they double their hourly rates, set up a hidden camera and recorder and play it back at the office party.

QuickDenimDeer · 18/12/2024 13:39

It did make me smile when you explained your child is a 22 year old. I thought we were talking about maybe a 15 year old who was old enough to travel, but wouldn’t have the funds to pay for a train fare. Either way, any reasonable father would just offer to pay for a train ticket! That is if they really wanted a relationship with their child.

Isatis · 18/12/2024 13:40

Miepmiep · 18/12/2024 13:33

I know one of these…

They actually applied to the family court to demand their 30 something “child” leave their partner and they should have the DGC to stay every weekend and half the holidays.

That must have given the Family Court judge some much-needed light relief.

CautiousLurker01 · 18/12/2024 13:40

Shouldn’t laugh… but I did! What an idiot!

nightmarepickle2025 · 18/12/2024 13:41

This did indeed make me laugh out loud

Whatayear2023 · 18/12/2024 13:42

I've had a similar rant, my ex called social services last week that I'm stopping him seeing his son that he's "concerned over safety"... I didn't answer phone as was a private number so had a knock on door from safeguarding welfare team told them to come back when sons home as he's 22 and at work not 2 like they took from the call with ex... he doesn't want to see his dad as he's a knob and he's not at age where I cant physically lift him strap him in car seat and force him and take him any more...

Mydogisamassivetwat · 18/12/2024 13:45

selffellatingouroborosofhate · 18/12/2024 13:26

That makes really good sense, thinking about it.

It's likely that one of ex-H's means of controlling you is to make you lose your temper by suckering you into an argument, so your therapist gave you this amazing tool that I wish I'd thought of myself to defend against that. I'm stealing it.

Yes, that was exactly it. He would do things like text me that he’d “lost” ds at the airport and was calling the police, or they were in some far flung city and he couldn’t find ds in a playground, I would panic, obviously, and try to call him a hundred times and he wouldn’t pick up. Then he would use that call log to show his family that I was deranged or stalking him. Ds was always fine. It was just to frighten me.

After seeing the therapist, who made me see it for what he was, the next time I got a text saying “we’re at X place and I can’t find ds, I’ll have to call the police”, I sent the “okay, let me know how it goes” text (after a massive glass of vodka to keep my nerve with My friend assuring me it was bullshit to make me scared), and he never, ever pulled that stunt again.

So it worked.

OP posts:
Starlight1979 · 18/12/2024 13:46

Growsomeballswoman · 18/12/2024 13:12

Why is he not a blocked contact? What a dick 😂

Why would you block such an absolute gem?! Just imagine the laughs you get every time he sends something like this 😂

ItOnlyTakesTwoMinutes · 18/12/2024 13:47

Starlight1979 · 18/12/2024 13:46

Why would you block such an absolute gem?! Just imagine the laughs you get every time he sends something like this 😂

I couldn’t block him. It’s far too fun.

Starlight1979 · 18/12/2024 13:47

Mydogisamassivetwat · 18/12/2024 13:45

Yes, that was exactly it. He would do things like text me that he’d “lost” ds at the airport and was calling the police, or they were in some far flung city and he couldn’t find ds in a playground, I would panic, obviously, and try to call him a hundred times and he wouldn’t pick up. Then he would use that call log to show his family that I was deranged or stalking him. Ds was always fine. It was just to frighten me.

After seeing the therapist, who made me see it for what he was, the next time I got a text saying “we’re at X place and I can’t find ds, I’ll have to call the police”, I sent the “okay, let me know how it goes” text (after a massive glass of vodka to keep my nerve with My friend assuring me it was bullshit to make me scared), and he never, ever pulled that stunt again.

So it worked.

That was a brave and bold move but I love it. And well done to your therapist 👏

Devilsmommy · 18/12/2024 13:47

@mnhq can I nominate this thread for classics. It definitely deserves to be there🤣