Why have mumsnet posters got so rude?

[Littlelou61]

Honestly I read threads and people are genuinely having a horrible time and posters are so quick to say something mean-

a poor woman asking advice about an abusive boyfriend will be met with absolute victim blaming

someone asking for dating advice is run into the ground for having getting to know 2 men (as is dating culture)

a lesbian mum is asking parenting questions and it’s derailed into a trans debate absolutely nothing to do with what she is asking

someone commented that their husband does nothing around the house and people say you’re a grown woman you should do it yourself

Genuinely what is going on these days

I’ve been reading this for 20 years. There are always some.

As a society we seem to be lurching so far to the right which means online I feel the free speech type seem to be rude and don’t care. Social media like twitter caused this in my view

I'm not sure how recent it is, but I believe it is a social media thing, and linked to anonymity. Also, people perhaps do not think about the impact. They are anonymous, and in turn they don't think about a real person reading their comments.

It's always been like this.

That’s what I mean I think that they don’t realise it’s humans

It's the one who pile onto a thread that has no interest to them just to be pissy.

Like : Christmas Thread (clues in the name)
The "Am I the only one to wonder when did this become A Thing? I cannot understand why you would give your child a Christmas Eve Hamper " in a wide eyed ,arched eyebrow sort of a way.

It's not A Thing unless you want it to be , no one is holding a gun to your head to make you do it and I'm not giving my child razor blades so you can bugger right off .
Actually I did give my child razors but he's 25 with a beard.

I don't have any interest in chickens I don't go onto the chicken threads to whinge about their beady little eyes

I’ve been here since 2011 and I don’t think it’s any ruder than it was then.

AIBU has always been a bit harsh!

Its always been like it on here.
I say what i think but im like that in person.
Im not a baker im not gonna sugar coat it.
Say it how it is.

Since Netmums closed.... all the traffic has moved to Mumsnet

It can be a bit harsh but the stupidity of some posters seems to have got worse too, sometimes it can be hard not to comment 😳

Nowt new 😆

Poor chickens.

I agree with you OP. Some people are facing really sad situations yet people are either sarcastic or blame the person. Just a little thought for the person would be helpful I reckon.

I have noticed that there are some very pathetic individuals who watch for new threads so they can be the very first to reply and set a nasty tone in the hope of others joining them in a pile on.
I can only imagine how damaged and unhappy they must be to take pleasure in attacking in this way.
It also says something deeply unpleasant about those who join in like a pack of hyenas over wounded prey.

That's absolutely it! You must call out stupid and challenge those who are so far off the mark as to be ridiculous or dangerous

We have always had those replies - I'm a veteran of 2008 vintage - but the frequency's going up very quickly now and it's no longer confined to AIBU.

I've just assumed it's because MN's so much better known, it attracts nasty little bullies and misogynists looking for chances to kick a woman while she's down. They didn't know about us before, or thought we were all limited to discussions on the relative merits of Sudacrem versus Savlon.

I think this is also the reason for the decline in intelligence and literacy. We should've persisted with the SPAG critique, it might've put a few of them off 😂

Has always been so

Saturday nights in particular used to be awful

Especially if you dared to post on AIBU as a newbie!

Yeah or when someone has wrote a really long post asking for support/advice and someone picks up on the most trivial thing (e.g you said you had a landline phone, it’s 2024, why not a mobile?….as if she doesn’t also have a mobile but also who cares???)

Ah, I know they're probably quite sweet deep down but I have have bad experiences with domestic fowl especially friends Cockerell which attacked me

2014, and same here. Actually there was someone who purposely resurrected a load of threads from 2007 last year or the year before, and some of those were brutal!

It’s always been bad but I do agree it’s a bit worse now. It just reminds me that some people are just nasty/rude/cruel and there’s nothing you can do about it.

a poor woman asking advice about an abusive boyfriend will be met with absolute victim blaming

someone commented that their husband does nothing around the house and people say you’re a grown woman you should do it yourself

I don’t know about your other two examples but you are completely wrong about these two.

Did you manage to find one or two comments saying this in the tsunami of comments saying the complete opposite?

I had to recently name change because a couple of posters started a mean girl style attack on me, many posters backed me up, but they kept on going, then one who obviously has premium started digging through my threads and smugly declared what they had uncovered, and kept on using little facts about me, so they did a thorough job looking, I feel like a fugitive now!

I agree with the SPAG critique. Just seen brought instead of bought for the hundredth time, but having to sit on my hands now. Might I, therefore, be allowed a correction of your post? It's Sudocrem, not Sudacrem.