Why have mumsnet posters got so rude?

[Littlelou61]

Honestly I read threads and people are genuinely having a horrible time and posters are so quick to say something mean-

a poor woman asking advice about an abusive boyfriend will be met with absolute victim blaming

someone asking for dating advice is run into the ground for having getting to know 2 men (as is dating culture)

a lesbian mum is asking parenting questions and it’s derailed into a trans debate absolutely nothing to do with what she is asking

someone commented that their husband does nothing around the house and people say you’re a grown woman you should do it yourself

Genuinely what is going on these days

I dunno the stupidity of some posters is astounding if I'm honest. So many threads of 'I walked home whilst fireworks were going off will it hurt my baby?'
Or many variations of 'can I eat cold but cooked pizza If I'm pregnant'

Maybe they're just all thick but it's hard not to be at that

It isn't just AIBU - people seem to enjoy giving the OP a kicking no matter what topic it is. They'll find something to nitpick and antagonise the OP about for no reason at all other than they seem to get enjoyment out of it. Sometimes it only seems to take one person to start it off. If nobody does, then the thread is fine, but once one poster has a go, then a fair few others decide to join in with the pack mentality.

Some posts come across as either AI/trolls though because they are just so ridiculous or lack self awareness in how their posts read.
I hold my hands up and will say what I think and adjust my tone and wording depending on the tone of the post I am answering.

There’s definitely an uptick in posts which seem to be designed to create a fight (esp around political issues). I reckon the site is increasingly used by bad actors, just like other social media.

Because its anonymous, I firmly believe the majority of them wouldn't be that rude in real life

It's Sudocrem, not Sudacrem - You're right, @marshmallowfinder, thank you.

It has always been the case, but people are angrier and unhappier I think these days than, say, 10 years ago.

I think a lot of it is very unhappy people... Oh and drink plays a part, I am sure.

I agree. The children swearing is off putting too.
I thought the same reading the current Labour thread - any fair criticism is met with “do fuck off, you Tory” and I’m sure there are threads the other way. How can we debate and discuss issues if it descends into swearing quickly?

Not everyone who has a different political view is a bad actor. We are all allowed to voice our opinions. It's not a private forum for "approved only " opinions and views

AIBU has always been like that - BUT I think since things like trending topics have been introduced the “meanness” has slipped into other topics where care and kindness was more the norm.

Agree - I hid AIBU long ago but Chat is often the same now :-(

And this is a case in point!

By no means did the PP say all posters were bad actors, she postulated that an increasing number were. Since this is true across FB, Twitter etc, it is
most likely true of MN too.

This is a prefect example
someone says something perfectly reasonable (there are a number of bad actors) and there’s a snippy response from someone who either didn’t read/understand the post they’re complaining about properly, or who is just up for an argument so assumes something is about them

@Billydavey Your opinion is subjective. Learn to spell first beginning you criticise other people's comprehension

• before

The irony.

im not getting into an argument on a thread about how some posters just seem to post for an argument.

There has always been bickering!! I tend to step away if it descends into that otherwise I get irate as well 🤣

People are so rude all over the Internet. I know someone who is lovely in real life, pretty much said he likes a good argument online. I think people have their opinions they feel strongly about and think they just need to put it out there, plus to adrenaline rush. And it doesn't feel like insulting a person face to face.

Oh I see! Is that because you're a snob!?

Just kidding.

I agree, loads of people seem so angry. I know I am.

I thought there was a trend recently for what I thought were AI generated initial posts. All were the same style - just two or three sentences with no background or personal examples on a controversial topic; the thread would then get into heated bun fights and the OP would never respond or add any further info.

It's always been that way.

Think about it, what do you think the majority of posters are? What kind of people are on social media all day? Is it likely to be happy, extrovert, busy people with a fulfilling life, or possibly bored, bitter, lonely, jealous miserable people with no life?

I said the majority, of course you have parents coming for advice and tips, very knowledgable people giving perfect advice in any area (haven't seen him in awhile but a DIY man was awesome), people coming for fun.

It doesn't change that the rude and nasty ones are likely just trying to make everyone as miserable as they are, and too shy in real life to say loud anything.
There are so horribly bitter people on this forum, they are actually depressing.

It's been this way as long as I've been around, but what is noticeable is the number of very obvious incels/MRAs and on occasion their deluded female supporters who have populated this site increasingly over the last five years or so.

They are very noticeable, not least highly predictable. Threads about abused women draw them like flies to a honeypot.

Lots of people don't understand that domestic abuse can be insidious; it builds up over time and can leave you feeling increasingly unsure of yourself. There is the first incidence and whilst everything else is OK it can be confusing and you try to justify it