Asking for a lift home offended.

[Goatymum]

I met with friends last night about 20 mins walk/5 mins drive from my house. At the moment I'm not driving due to some health issues, so I walked there and was hoping DH could pick me up afterwards on his way home, but he was still out (he picked me up last time a couple of months ago and always picks me up from the station nearby if I've been out in town.
When I've gone out with these friends before in the area and said I was walking home (ie in the summer), this particular friend always offers me a lift saying 'oh it's no problem I'll drop you back etc', even taking another friend home who is more on her way (so am I but she would've had to go back a differentway to take the other friend if that makes sense), but she was really weird about it last night when I asked if she minded dropping me home and made a strange remark. She did drop me however, and I said I really appreciated it as I wasn't driving.
Now I feel a bit ashamed of asking and I should've just walked the 20 minutes and would probably have been fine, but I was pretty shattered after work and I've been a bit post-viral as well. I will definitely never ask this person for a lift again though - it made me feel really shitty.

Was it not faux outrage?

No idea, but again, I wouldn't have minded her saying she couldn't drive me for whatever reason.

Some good advice on this thread though in that askign for a lift is not good manners and I must say 'I'm walking home' (or ordering an Uber) and see if a lift is forthcoming!

I have been cleared to drive medically now for one thing so I need to speak to GP about the other, and then hopefully get a new car so I won't be in this position again!

Given her reaction I’d have said it didn’t matter and left. I probably wouldn’t bother to meet up again because you don’t need arsehole friends like that.

I thought it was initially, but it was all a bit awks. Other friend said 'what's going on?'

We prob wont meet for a while now anyway, as only meet up about 3 x a year! then it'll be summer and I will hopefully be driving again!

She may just have been tired and it just came out, so maybe she minded last night, she might not mind all the time though, maybe get her a box of chocolates as a thank you?

I always feel so bemused by these threads - I don't think I have ever driven or been driven, let alone taken a taxi, rather than walk for 20 mins. That is nothing.

Depends on where it is you are walking.
If the roads/streets were quiet, lonely and unlit, I wouldn't be walking alone at night.

You wouldn’t care to be asked but I think a lot of people would. See 50,000 other MN threads on this matter.

I'm guessing she has been very generous with giving lifts and some people (not you) have started taking advantage. For some reason she decided to vent her frustration on you a bit, instead of just saying no she can't help.

Now you know to plan ahead with DH or book a taxi in future.

As she has been kind in the past, don't hold it against her but also watch out for any other behaviour from her.

Walking at night doesn't bother me and the OP doesn't mention it either, just being too tired (but not too tired to go out for the evening)

Well if you/your husband aren't willing to go out of your way for her once in a while, I don't see why she should go out of her way for you tbh.

OP says she has had some health issues recently.

oh I don’t drink so often am the designated driver and normally don’t mind, it’s usually a good bit out of my way but I’m happy to do it. However I remember one night being exhausted and just wanted to go home and really didn’t want an extra hour driving so just asked them to get taxi. Felt really bad but it’s hard to be the one who expected to get everyone home all the time.

Most people's energy reduces by evening time.

I think it was a catty thing to say, as a friend I would have offered without being asked. It's 5 minutes out of her way, not a 30 minute detour fgs

A 20 minute walk in daylight when people are around, is very different to a 20 minute walk in the dark, when you have had a few drinks, feel tired, and there are very few people about.

Maybe the friend just feels a bit of resentment that she is always the one expected to drive her friends home.
The OP has said she won't ask/presume again that a lift will be available, so it seems to have a satisfactory ending for them both....and the friendship stays intact. 😄

Still would have asked before that evening though

I agree with this. Who knows why she reacted that way, or even if you were over sensitive & it wasn't that bad, but if you're good friends just..............

I agree it's rude to ask on the spot. Better to offer to walk/Uber and usually someone would offer to give you a lift if it wasn't a massive inconvenience/detour. If ubers aren't reliable for you, you should plan your own transport accordingly in advance.

She was already dropping someone else off in a different direction, which I assume was pre agreed so likely just thought you were being cheeky to ask her. It's a bit entitled especially as you've said due to where she lives you can't or won't do the reverse..

I would not give it too much importance. Maybe she was tired too or was thinking of popping in the shop, cooking dinner, maybe concerned that the traffic would be heavy...
She did give you a lift. She had offered in other occassions.
Next time send her a text in advance. Many people do not mind doing things for others, but they like to plan what they are doing next and get irritated if there is a change.