Do housewives still exist?

[Mumteedum]

Had a funny moment in the supermarket this week where a lady was grumbling about something and we had a little small talk about how busy it is at Xmas and supermarket moving things so you can't find stuff. She referred to 'harassed housewives ' and I said 'yes and non housewives too'. She sort of apologised but I hadn't meant it to be as if I'd taken offense so made a joke of it all and all nice and fine, the end.

But it just felt like a word from another era. I remember mum saying she was a housewife. Are there any housewives these days?

I found it really odd that the lady would assume anyone was a housewife these days.

I don't find anyone ever uses any of these terms in real life, I only hear them on MN (or car insurance applications). In real life you know what friends' situation is with regard to home/work/children, people you meet you tend to find out in the course of normal chat, they'll say "this happened at work" which leads to "where do you work" or they might just tell you they aren't working at the moment or whatever. I don't know anyone who refers to themself as either a SAHM/D or housewife/husband (and I know people both with and without children who do not work in paid employment but are supported financially by a partner rather than unemployed).

However I wouldn't have batted an eyelid at the woman's comment, I think it was a bit off that you corrected her like that, she was just passing the time with a stranger, it's just a turn of phrase, glad you managed to end the conversation OK

See, that's not what I'd think of as a housewife. I would think of them like mum was. At home, with school age kids, doing housework and home admin while husband earns the income.

I'd just term you as ... living the dream

@ExquisiteDecorations yes in real life no one actually cares 😂
It is only relevant for a few legal things (like insurance or marriage certificates).

It wasn't off. It was fine. I was just a bit surprised and said it without thinking, as she had. I think we were just from different eras. She was probably 15 years older than me. Just seemed a big assumption that any woman in the supermarket was a housewife. So many people work from home now and have Flexi hours. It just sounded really odd.

Anyway we had a little laugh and a nice chat, she was smiling away as I left her. No offence taken by either of us, don't worry.

what's the difference apart from a new shiny label?

On the home insurance drop down menu, the occupation is 'houseperson'.

I got made redundant recently, so I'm currently a houseperson. 😁

I'm a housewife and that's what I tell people when they ask what I do. I don't particularly like the term SAHM and much prefer housewife.

I'm a sahm if I'm writing but use it interchangeably with housewife when speaking. I don't feel ashamed to be a housewife, I love it and it's my decision.

I suppose I do assume a sahm is more likely to have children of preschool age or with significant additional needs.

I can't think of anyone who refers to themselves as a housewife/person. I guess they would on a standard form though.

I know women who never returned to work after having children though and children are now young adults and a few who still call themselves a SAHM even though their youngest is 12+ with no additional needs.

But you have a job which is outside the home in that it generates income from some other source and would, until WFH became a thing, have involved you going to a workplace. Outside the home.

If a man WFH, would you describe him as a 'househusband'?

‘Full time parent’ isn’t great either…. Parents are still parents when they’re at work.

I think they’re different though. Back in the day straight couples who could afford to live on the man’s wage and decided to do so, would regard the woman as.in charge of domestic arrangements whether or not children came along. That was a housewife. A modern SAHM is there for the children, may plan to return to work when they are older, and though she likely will do more of the house work, would resist the idea that it is her ‘job’.

It's true - housewife has such negative connotations that no one is using it anymore or barely.

But that's another madness of the modern world.

Because being a housewife is honourable, it's bloody hardwork and such an important job too. It's just not paid, that's all.

And because the world considers money to be the stick to measure someone's worth, someone who doesn't earn is not considered worth anything which is outrageous.

Women, who are otherwise not inclined to, are forced to go into work to feel they are worth something.

Presumably if one lived in a flat you would be a 'flat-person'
or if in a detached house could you be a 'detached-person'?
or in a bungalow...
or in a caravan...

I was about to say this. SAHM doesn’t sound quite right with the kids become teens.

A gp once wrote me a referral letter for a specialist as: "Mrs. Floris Apple, a housekeeper, aged 40..." I thought it made me sound like a character from Downton Abbey. I never call myself Mrs either, unless I think it will be of some use to me.

*when

Homemaker is American but I much prefer it to housewife, not least because it can be used by both sexes.

I know a few women that describe themselves as "housewives" in other words they have no children, or grown up children and don't have a paid job.

I think the term SAHM is used much more regularly now for women that have younger children.

I was a SAHM when pregnant with my son, and had a toddler dd. The doctor was filling in a form or doing a referral for me and wrote “Does not work outside the home” where it says occupation. I remember thinking it was a nice description

Honestly I don't think there are many housewives now. My mum was a housewife, my grannies, great grannies were house wives. They stayed at home and made sure the house chores were kept on top of, cooked food was on the table and looked after the kids. While their husbands worked. Now I think you just get woman that don't work because they seem to have a more luxurious lifestyle than others and the husbands are expected to still pull their weight with childcare, house chores etc. The 'role' has definitely changed!

So I'm a housewife 🤔 Im not a very good one😂

No, wfh is a new thing for many people but not all. My role doesn’t involve going to a workplace. I don’t think if I had a penis it would impact that.

But not all Women that don't work have children. For a time my SIL didn't work and instead managed the day to day at home and the logistics of a major house move while my Brother settled into a new and very demanding (but very lucrative) job.

He did refer to her as Director of Domestic Affairs rather than Housewiife though.

Homemaker is American though isn't it?

Is it? When I was growing up in the 70s, our church (URC) had a 'Homemakers' group. I think it had previously been called 'Young Mothers'

Re the insurance forms, I wonder how many had 'househusband' as an equivalent and whether they'd have 'corrected' a man who fit the same criteria as the women they wanted to call 'housewives'?