Am I being suspicious unnecessarily?

[Anoniam]

I have an Amazon account. I have Prime, so partner uses my account occasionally.
I've just been through my search history looking for something I bought a while ago and decided to delete a few items from my browsing history. There were items on there obviously my partner had been searching...
Any idea why he'd be searching for these? The women's fancy dress has made me suspicious.

Also searched for a penguin cuddly toy with Arsenal on it and a baby's dressing gown with arsenal on it. We don't know any babies and he doesn't support Arsenal.

No recovery requirements. I wasn't allowed to ask about it. He told me I was abusing him by asking questions. When it initially happened (I had theessages screenshot) he did at the start discuss and admit things. He now says it never happens and it's all in my head.

Honestly OP, this should tell you all you need to know. The Amazon search history is the least of your problems, this guy is a gaslighting dickhead.

So, no he didn't buy it but it's on my account. He also has his own account and buys things from there sometimes. He wouldn't purchase something like that from my account but may not have thought of the browsing history.

Also, he works alone from home so doesn't have colleagues, so can't imagine when he'd be searching for this!

I've had about 2 hours sleep and feel sick.

You should keep your account just for your use unless you are married and have joint finances.

Has he been or going to a fancy dress party? If i found those on my husnamsa conputer, i wouldn't be in the slightest concerned
However of you have trust issues why are you with him at all?

They don't scream suspicious honestly.. could have clicked through from an advert or something? They are very random though.

@ByQuaintAzureWasp to be honest, I've no idea how he accesses the account! I don't even know the password (as it's through the app).

@Maddy70 that's fair enough. Why would you think he's searching for a woman's fancy dress outfit? It's also quite sexy looking.

@SwedishHills I doubt he'd have clicked on them from an outfit. There are 2 of them!

How the heck do I bring this up?

And no, he hasn't been to a fancy dress party and hasn't told me he's going to one. It looks like he is though but evidently not with me. 😔

@Anoniam WHY are you still with him?!?? He is a bit of shit. That's all he is. Tell him to leave. Throw him out.

I am sorry you are going through this. It sounds like a horrible relationship with or without infidelity. Have you access to any counseling? Are you married to this person?

Isn’t the first line here the real problem?. Don’t be with someone who isn’t honest with you

I do know there are other issues but at the moment I'm here and don't want to leave. However, yes the issue is that I won't get honesty. I'm going to ask him about it shortly but I guarantee it won't go down well and he'll be really angry.

Your issue is that you're in a relationship with a liar and a cheat.

The rest of it is totally irrelevant - why is your bar on the floor?

He's already gas-lighting you over his previous infidelity so is likely to lie if you ask him about this.

To me it seems as though all the trust has gone and really you need to leave the relationship, as he won't change. It's easy to say but much harder to do, I appreciate that.

But if I were you I'd start thinking about moving on. You deserve better.

Why don't you want him to leave? Why do you want to be a with a bit of shit that doesn't love you and cheats on you? Are you afraid you won't get another man? Genuine question.

Maybe I shouldn't have mentioned the past cheating.

What I wanted to know is whether or not it looked suspicious and am I justified in asking him about it.

He distorts my reality. He will get angry as soon as I ask and make out I've lost the plot. So I need to know if it's ridiculous to ask about it?

Kindly: it's ridiculous to be in this relationship.

Why do you want to be with a cheater who doesn't love you? Why don't you think you deserve a good man? This is 2024, not the 1940s. Why do you want to be with a this pos when he has no respect for you?

Why do you want to be with a man who distorts your reality?

If someone goes out of their way to have sex with someone else whilst they are in a relationship and hide it. In my opinion, it's no skin off their nose and will do it time and time again without remorse.
Have you been STD tested?
Do you not value yourself enough to know you deserve more? Because you do deserve more. His cheating is no reflection you, it reflects on him.

"Follow the money" OP
You need evidence of money being spent or messages sent and received.
Gaslighting is awful but you need more.

Yes I get regular STI tests, although not done one for a little while.

My concern is that he won't be able to justify why he's been looking at those outfits. So he'll say he didn't do it and it's nothing to do with him. If he says that then it pretty much confirms he's cheating/being dishonest as I know it's definitely him. They are lumped in-between a load of other stuff he's searched for. Plus on Amazon, for something to be in your browsing history, you need type it in and click on it.

I'm at a loss to be honest. I'm not strong enough to see it. Part of me thinks I should just ask to see his phone, explain why and say if I'm wrong then I apologise. I'm pretty much certain there will be lots of there I wouldn't like to see.

You don't need evidence of anything, ever

You can just finish a relationship for whatever reason you like

I'm at a loss to be honest. I'm not strong enough to see it. Part of me thinks I should just ask to see his phone, explain why and say if I'm wrong then I apologise. I'm pretty much certain there will be lots of there I wouldn't like to see.

He's been unfaithful before and you obviously no longer trust him, dont bother looking at his phone, don't apologise just finish it.

Too many people stay in bad relationships when they could just be happy on their own.