What was your final straw that made you end a friendship?

[shutupputup]

Two memorable for me.

One friend complete user, money, lifts, dropped you as soon as she got a boyfriend. We fell out and I reached out to her as I was feeling depressed (as was she): she invited me to hers later in the week, to then say she was ill and posted on social media she was out clubbing.

Other one was this year. Horrible weekend away where she sulked like a teenager (no idea why). Tried to meet up with her a couple of times after and got snubbed, She then started messaging saying she missed me but again snubbed my suggestion of meeting up. I gave up. She’s messaged since and I’ve just ignored.

I had a friend who was an alcoholic. Met her through work and I was always so supportive of her and her "attempts" to cut down on the booze. She'd never drive anywhere in the evening because she literally had to have a drink and she lived 50 minutes drive from me so I was always the taxi. Initially I didn't mind because I enjoyed her company and she had a little boy who was the same age as my daughter and they got on really well.

I ended the friendship when we went on holiday together with the kids and she disappeared for 45 minutes whilst we were in a pub restaurant. We'd originally booked Pizza Express but she wanted to go to the pub because she really needed a drink. I relented and the kids were having a ball as it had a great play park.

Anyway, I take the kids to find her and she'd ordered two bottles of wine from the bar and was unconscious in the toilet. It was now about 9pm and I had two young children with me. I said to her that if she wasn't in the car in 10 minutes I was going without her.

Eventually she stumbled to my car, falling into a bush on the way. She got in, vomited everywhere and told me to get a move on.

Arrived back to our accommodation and went to bed - fortunately we were going home the next day anyway.

We were very close before that but I was so angry that she assumed that I would look after her child whilst she was so inebriated she couldn't even stand up. She also told me a story whilst drunk about her brother sexually abusing her as a child (he was an adult, big age gap) and yet allowed this man to be present with my daughter at various events without my knowledge.

Her disregard for the children was the thing that made me realise she was a toxic woman, and my colleagues were surprised it had taken me a couple of years to realise!

I moved to her city for work and saw more of her. She started making digs at me, my driving (I’m a competent driver) my appearance, a guy I liked- oh they go for much younger women- on and on trying to chip away at my self esteem, didn’t happen I was baffled to start with then just irritated.
I left her city and didn’t contact her.
Sh rang me 2 years ago on Christmas Eve and I called her out on the way she had treated me. She said she did nothing wrong.
No contact since.
We had been friends for 40 years.

I had a friend who did this but with booze, after I (an alcoholic, daughter of alcoholics) gave up drinking! It was so clear she didn’t care about me at all, and couldn’t care less what I had been through. She would literally buy a large glass of wine and put it in my hands.

An old friend would always be late when we were meeting. She'd also be in the middle of lunch when I turned up to go to toddler group with her & our dds. So we'd arrive late. It's not a massive issue I know but it really annoyed me. Last time I saw her she'd moved around 50 mins drive away & she was due to be at mine at 11am. She knew I was going out at 1pm. She rang at 11am to say she was just leaving her house as her new neighbours had just popped round to say hello & she didn't want to offend them! She had no trouble offending me though. I should have told her not to bother coming but I didn't contact her again

I've given up on two long time friends essentially because they expected other people to tolerate their bullshit but wouldn't tolerate the same behaviour from other people.

Friend 1 was jealous of my friendship with friend 2. Got annoyed when I spent time with her or talked about her. Friend 1 was also fake friends with friend 2 and slept with her boyfriend!! Friend 1 also tried it on with my married brother and my own boyfriends as they came and went. We eventually stopped being friends in our mid 20s when I didn't respond to her text within some mysterious time frame, she deleted me on Facebook and never replied to my reply. I never tried again. Honestly I never got this one but she was so inherently selfish I just thought fine, you're not a good person anyway.

Friend 2 did a LOT of things I would never morally agree with but I took a live and let live attitude. Getting deliberately pregnant and then excluding the guy who wanted to be involved from everything, telling her son he could be a girl if wanted at age 3, leaving her 4 year old with my stranger relatives for two hours at my wedding to go and shag her boyfriend/girlfriend whatever. There's a big list. But then she posted on social media that anyone who dares to vote conservative could leave her life and never come back. Which is the most closed minded ridiculous view and I couldn't believe someone who expected everyone to accept everything about them could put such a thing. So I deleted and blocked her/him and we never spoke again. She didn't reach out and neither did I. After 23 years of friendship. But I'd had enough of bending my views when she wouldn't. I didn't even vote conservative.

I still feel upset about both friendships in a way but life is too short to be surrounded by selfish knob heads.

Twice I’ve intentionally cut people out.

First one we met at uni and she always thought she was a bit better than everyone else because she had a long term boyfriend and plans to get married etc as soon as she graduated.

When she did that and had a baby almost immediately it was like she suddenly realised she’d missed out on all the fun things the rest of us were doing (travelling, moving away for new jobs etc) and when we’d go out started making it all about meeting blokes and getting off with strangers, even though I was staying at her house where her husband was looking after their baby!

I had enough of her and just stopped replying, it was embarrassing.

Second one had an alcohol problem, it ruined too many nights out and she was rude and annoying and had no intention of even trying to fix her behaviour.

I had to cut off one 'friend' who was very controlling, criticised my parenting. Final straw was her making mean comments about my autistic dd who was overloaded at a firework event. If you do or say something horrible to my children it's goodbye forever.

When she shagged another of my close friend's husband.

I am still sad about one who blew hot and cold too often, making feeble excuses when i was in the area she lived and suggested meeting, then a couple of years later wanting to do loads of things with me, then another couple of years later back to making excuses when i suggested meeting. I gave up at that point - and was surprised to get a Christmas card that year, but i didn't send one back. I am hopeless at picking up subtle clues so I still don't know why she behaved as she did, or what i had done to offend her. I would still respond positively now if she reached out, but i know she won't.

I had a friend who I've recently cut ties with who suddenly was an all encompassing part of my life. She would blow hot and cold and one day was short ans snappy with me after she came over for dinner and I asked if she wanted another cuppa or head off and she took that as me not wanting her around. She decided to put odd passive aggressive quotes directed towards me on whatsapp story thing (out of all places) and it wasnt until i addressed it she began to pick apart my personality that I'm not attentive enough to her emotional needs. She asked me to meet up and apologise again for the comment over a cup of tea and that was the last straw, I politely declined and she continues to post things about me. Very strange, we'd been friends for 8 years

A friend I had for about 14yrs. She would gatecrash our holidays and never contribute. I was forever getting texts in the morning asking to take her DC to school (I could walk my DC there as we were close, she was the other side of town and it was a drive in).

She was always drunk, having dramas. She had a relationship with her deceased childhood friend's 19yr old son when she was late 40s.

I always mopped up. I came running when her DC would phone that she'd passed out and they didn't know what to do.

Anyway, I had my own crisis. Breakdown, suicide attempts, was hospitalised. She was nowhere to be seen, despite me begging for help. That's when I realised I had 'doormat' written on my forehead.

I moved far away, never contacted her again. Then my DS (he's in his late 20s) got a text from her saying she missed me, she was a terrible person, etc. That text was very much ignored.

I’m struggling with a friendship that sometimes feels like cross examination. Friend WhatsApps constantly. I respond. She sends about 6 more follow up what’sapps straightaway asking more questions. I message to explain taking time offline as overwhelmed and that I will be back in touch. Have had a bereavement. She messages again, again and again impervious to my very polite messages saying please leave it to me to revert.
This year has been a nightmare with another work friend doing the same thing but I have managed to establish proper boundaries with him. My other friend, has the kindest heart but seemingly won’t take no for an answer.

She has always been someone that likes to question things but messaging with her leaves me exhausted because there is no end. If I don’t respond, she will chase me on bloody stupid stuff.

I am so so exhausted.

I may have to ultimately block her if she continues as I can’t be doing with this all.

When I was young I never had a group of friends as tended to just have the one very close friend . It seemed to work like that as I grew up .
Have had a good friend for around 8 years , then my .My dh has become unwell and I have been spending more time at home looking after him.
Still met up with my friend for a coffee , our joint hobby , occasional night out etc , and as our husband's get on , meet ups as a 4 for coffee or we'd go to their house ( She says mine is too chilly / she lives in a modern house , mines victorian )
But because I can't sit around hers chatting for hours or go on day long shopping trips , she's largely dropped me for her new friends and when we do meet up she's a little more argumentive and sarcastic towards me.
I guess I'm saying people get different things from friendships , some will be with you through thick & thin , good times & bad . Others are only with you because you fit their needs.I
Trouble is you will never know , which sort you have , or even are until something happens to rock the boat in a friendship.

I had a friend with Bi-polar and ADHD, she is lovely but very chatty, can never get a word in when we meet up. The conversations are always about her mental health or that of her family who all have some sort of MH issues (kids with depression, anxiety etc). My Dad died last year of sepsis, it was sudden and traumatic but when I text her she made it all about her and how she had sepsis from her new MH drugs. She doesn't mean it but it is draining so I cut loose.

The highschool frenemy, now that was satisfying. I had a low self esteem and she put in her best efforts to keep it there. Throughout the school years, there's always one little jab after the other - and always something absurd, like how she was so glad she had thin lips and not full ones like mine, thin are much prettier.

I met her a few years after graduation, and her first sentence was that 'oh I see you have put on 5 pounds..'
I just laughed and have never talked to her again.

A mum friend from school just went off the rails. Serious mental health issues and alcoholism seemingly out of the blue. Was sectioned twice and had EST. I supported her, visited her, sat in with her during her consultant reviews at the hospital (she did have a partner but he left at one point with their DD) ... but she just got worse and started to stalk me a bit whenever she was out of the hospital. She started to scare me a bit. She eventually moved back to her home village and I just blocked her on everything.
Another who I thought of as my closest friend who moved to the countryside after getting married and having kids. I was the one who always went to her. Then she started cancelling last minute and she didn't come to a significant birthday party where I was also introducing my future DH on the flimsiest of excuses. When I had kids I was the one still traipsing down to see her. The final straw was she invited me then uninvited me to her 40th in the same call because I told her my DH was away so it would just be me - suddenly it was a 'couple' thing and I wouldn't know anyone and apparently would be some sort of pariah. I was really hurt by that. So I stopped contacting her and she didn't bother contacting me.
I am happy to say that years later we have reconnected, partly through her husband's intervention (he was always fond of me).

Has someone ever ended a friendship with you?

(In any time did you think that you deserved it and that you were in the wrong)

Similar to another poster a friend who would call and go on about her problems (usually minor work niggles or standard stuff that comes with being a parent). And then when she had got to end of her whining she would find an excuse to end the call. She also once told me that I had no idea how hard life was because I wasn't a parent and then gave the example of how she hadn't been able to have as a long a shower as normal that morni g because her DH had gone into work 30 minutes early - at the time my DH was deployed to a war zone doing a very dangerous job.

She always had to have a drama going on in her life and it got exhausting. Especially when nine times out of ten she'd caused the drama herself.

I gradually stopped calling her. She only contacted me when she wanted a whine. Eventually she messaged me one day asking why I had stopped contacting her and I was honest and said I wasn't willing to be in a friendship where any issues I might be going through were dismissed as meaningless. She called me a coward and told me my reasoning was irrelevant. I haven't contacted her since. She has tried once when she was evidently feeling lonely. No acknowledgement of the hurtful things she said let alone an apology just expecting me to be there for her yet again. I ignored her and have heard nothing since.

I can relate, I have a friend now and we’re only two months apart in age. I think I’m her comfort blanket of “I might not have achieved this yet but it could be worse I could have shutupputup’s life”

I casually mentioned I’d gone to look at a new house but I wasn’t buying it for x reasons and I wasn’t looking to move (but would have if that house had been right for me), then she suddenly started looking at new houses (they were in the middle of a new extension and just bought new fitted wardrobes?). I got a new car which she only knew about because we met up and the next week I saw her she was going on about getting a new car.

There’s a million examples, it’s just seems she can’t stand for me to have anything that’s deemed better (in her opinion) than what she has.

Nasty, nasty, nasty behaviour

I had a friend who was desperate to come and see our baby, we told her we'd give her a date and time to come round and that we weren't having evening visitors as DS was a colicky baby and didn't settle well in the evenings, I was recovering from a c section, she just showed up at the doorstep one evening, shaking and crying asking what she'd done wrong, she came in for less than 5 minutes, proceeded to send my dad a message telling him she thought I had pnd! I called her out on this, we spoke it through, thought we were ok. She then messaged me 3 times and I didn't respond - one I had answered in a group chat, one didn't warrant a response, the other I'd totally forgotten about & had told her previously if I didn't answer a text then to ring me, she chose not to. The last message I got was to say she wasn't going to message again, I responded saying if she thought she was going to be put before my 6 month old then it was probably for the best! Then I blocked her!

Yes, it is happening to me currently I think. I also think I thought we were much closer friends than she does. I realise she is very good at making people feel close to her in the moment and then she moves on. It feels sad that it's ending but perhaps it was never what I thought anyway.

I had to go NC with someone like this. She still has my number because a few times a year I get No Caller ID calls. I know it’s her. She could never leave anyone alone. Every utterance out of her mouth was about herself. She couldn’t care less about what others might be doing or if they had the time to listen to her go on and on and over and over the same subject for years on end. All the people who came into contact with her were smothered and suffocated and ended up binning her off. I had to protect myself. No regrets

I think I can win this thread.

The final straw for me was when I found out her husband has been convicted of possessing a truly astonishing amount of child abuse material.

I ended a friendship when I realised she was jealous of me and it came out as passive aggressive snippy comments or ignoring good stuff that was happening in my life. She liked it when life went tits up for me when exH had a secret affair and left when the DC were young, I think she got a morbid fascination out of it and liked having a friend she could feel was worst off than her but when I got a work promotion then met my lovely new H she started with the passive aggressive stuff. We had some work done on our house and she wanted to see it but when she came she said nothing positive then actually had the cheek to find fault with something very minor. It was obvious she was jealous. My now DH is also wealthy which she didn’t seem to like because overnight I went from single mum she could pity to married to a man richer than them. Final straw was my DS getting into a top university. She made a snippy comment about him and I saw red. Her own DC didn’t shine at school even though they had a tonne of private tuition. As a pp said, you’re nasty about my kids and you’re gone from my life.