What was your final straw that made you end a friendship?

[shutupputup]

Two memorable for me.

One friend complete user, money, lifts, dropped you as soon as she got a boyfriend. We fell out and I reached out to her as I was feeling depressed (as was she): she invited me to hers later in the week, to then say she was ill and posted on social media she was out clubbing.

Other one was this year. Horrible weekend away where she sulked like a teenager (no idea why). Tried to meet up with her a couple of times after and got snubbed, She then started messaging saying she missed me but again snubbed my suggestion of meeting up. I gave up. She’s messaged since and I’ve just ignored.

Being there for her when her child was ill but being ignored when I was having a rough time. Spending money on her special birthday but not even a text for mine
I'm done

Friend came from Canada. We arranged to meet and I took the day off work. when we met up she said she had allowed half an hour for me but we would meet up later in the month for dinner. She never contacted me but emailed me from the airport six weeks later to say she was on her way home.

One of my best friends happened to be a male, and we became friends around the age of 16/17 at college, then went to the same uni, had similar lectures together with the same friend group, and remained really good friends in my 20's - gamed together, went to comic con together etc and had a similar group of friends but we always caught up for a drink by ourselves too as i thought we just got on really well, it was nice having someone to 'geek out' with as my girl friends aren't into videogames.

There was a point he said he had feelings for me after uni which was a shock, and I said I only saw us as friends, and valued our friendship, he accepted that and we moved on as normal.

Fast forward to when i was 28, I broke up with my longterm fiance, and he instantly flipped and started being extremely inappropriate and making lewd remarks on my photos, constantly giving me inappropriate compliments, sexual innuendos, clingy and giving off a really creepy, intense and controlling vibe, wanting to meet up constantly and take me out and know what I was doing and when etc. He wasn't the same as before.

It made me really sad that I realised he was basically biding his time for the off chance I became single. I tried to distance myself from him but he didn't really get the message, in the end I felt awful but I ghosted him and haven't spoken to him in a few years now. To me, he was a great friend all those years, but it makes me feel disgusted that he saw me in a different light the whole time.

I’ve had a best friend since I was 8. For over 20 years we were the best of friends, did everything together, saw each other 2-3 times a week etc.
When lockdown hit, we both lived alone. He lived in a small apartment block and made friends with other people in the block and they started spending every day/eve together, sat on their balconies drinking in the sun, and having wild parties. He would often text me in a sort of bragging way about how lucky he was to have found all these friends and to be having so much fun during lockdown. He’d say patronising things like “I don’t know how you’re coping on your own, it must be so shit, I’m so lucky.” He would just go out of his way every day to text me and update me with all the fun he was having. Anyway fast forward a couple of months when you were allowed to meet a friend in the park for a walk. We’d meet up a couple of times a week and he had just changed so much in such a short space of time. He was only interested in talking about himself and all the wild lockdown fun he’d been having. I couldn’t get a word in edgeways. He wasn’t interested in hearing about the zooms quizzes and classes and things I’d done virtually with my friends, it was just all about him and how fun and wild he was.
Obviously from when all this began to summer 2022 the rules yo-yo’d and changed, and we didn’t see each other as often as we used to. But when we did meet, it as always about him. For a year I just felt so let down by his behaviour, lack of compassion and braggy attitude. I found spending time with him to be quite depressing and I also just felt a bit used, like he was using me as someone to brag to, and didn’t care about my life. Many times in that period I considered phasing him out as I just didn’t really like the person he had turned into.

Anyway in summer 2022 I started dating a guy (still together now!) and my friend knew this, we would still text most days. We met up in September and by this point, I’d been dating the guy around two months and things were going really well, we called each other boyfriend and girlfriend etc, and I knew I was falling for him. For this September meet up, I was excited to tell my friend all about my new boyfriend and he just wasn’t interested at all. For the first hour he talked solidly about himself, and I did feel a bit put out that he hasn’t referenced my new boyfriend or asked any questions. So after an hour when I paused for a breath, I brought up my new man, and he responded to one thing I’d d said, showed zero interest or enthusiasm, and went back to telling me all about his latest drunken escapades. As I walked out of the pub that night, I knew I was gone and never wanted to see him again.

The older you get, the more fucked up it gets.

Friend tried to rob from me. - now no contact, which is sad.

Another - visited, passed rude remarks about my house, started rummaging around my personal items on my work desk. She had heard about the first robbing attempt. It felt like she was re-enacting it. Also now dumped.

Both are broke, first never worked, second is a bleeding heart charity worker. Both aggrieved that life isn't all rosey.

When she broke a confidence, and, in front of me told her DH something deeply personal about me that I’d confided in her and asked her not to tell anyone, even her DH. She tried to justify it saying ‘oh it’s only DH, who’s he going to tell?’ whilst laughing. I walked out of her house that night and haven’t spoken to her since.

Omg the raising the voice to quieten you. I’ve experienced two people like that and it’s just the most bizarre behaviour. I was with one in a Starbucks and I genuinely felt like I could float out the room and it would make no difference to the conversation as I was never allowed to get a word in anyways.

Has he asked to meet up again?

Yes- he won’t have realised there was a problem with his behaviour as he just got so self absorbed. He continued texting me (about himself) as normal but I just really pulled back on replying. Over the next six months or so he suggested meeting up and I swerved it, and continued to phase out replying to his messages until contact just stopped.

The person I described is such a narcissist she used to keep glancing at her reflection in the window as she spoke. She literally used to watch herself speaking!

Once, I was standing in the kitchen talking to her partner. We were having quite an interesting conversation about films, when my friend returned with their one year old. She stood there for a few seconds with the child in her arms listening to what we were saying. We were so interested in our conversation that we ignored her. So she picked up the child, stepped right in between the two of us, and started throwing her in the air and saying 'weeeeee' – just to shut us up and get the attention back on her.

What did you do? That's so rude of her!

I dumped her when I had yet another meet up with her continually talking about herself. She didn't once ask how I was and I was actually going through a cancer scare at the time, it was the final straw after 24 years.

Exfriend has always been a bit bonkers and did horrible things occasionally which she always explained was as a joke. The last time she did something mad to me she tried to get me to have an affair with her BIL because she hated his wife. I said I'm no cheat and his marriage is up to BIL and SIL.

Anyway at a party, BIL asked to speak to me and told me off called me names. Apparently I'd told exfriend I wanted her BIL to surprise me and take complete control of me, she said this on several occasions over several weeks building up these SA fantasies. When he saw my jaw had dropped so much it dented the pavement he realised she'd set us both up. He was mortified and apologised profusely

Her DH was sought and he confirmed she'd come up with this and he'd told her she shouldnt do anything like that. She agreed and begged him not to tell either of us but didn't tell him she'd already been saying it to BIL for weeks. He too was mortified and apologised profusely I'd known them all for years.

She always was a bit obsessed with my lovelife, I was her only single friend but I'd never realised how bad it was. Anyway when I told her to fuck off and why she could fuck off and that she will never get another opportunity to put me at risk again, she told me I should have done as she told me to in the first place and she wouldn't have done it. 😮No remorse whatsoever and she laughed when I turned to go.

I had to walk away before I put her in hospital.

Ive had a series of ‘user’ friends most of my life.
People pretending to care / enjoy my company / like me, not because of me as a person but for what they could get.

I finally dumped the latest one about 15 years ago when I twigged what the deal was. I finally opened my eyes and understood none of them genuinely cared about me at all. Was a moment of absolute clarity. Only regret was the time I wasted being such a good friend to absolute arseholes.

I haven’t bothered with friends ever since, just stick to very detached acquaintances and feel much safer.

Friend visiting me and DH and spending more time talking to DH than me. Blushing when Dh spoke to her, confirming my suspicions that they had a semi flirtatious relationship. It made me feel insecure and I haven’t wanted to contact her since.

I recently ended a 15-year friendship because she didn’t message me during my cancer treatment. Not once. I was only 34 and pregnant when diagnosed. I went into hospital for a week for my first surgery and recovery when my baby was 5 weeks old - he had to be brought early and I’d had a planned c-section. It was a lot, I’m sure you can imagine. I messaged a groupchat she was part of, so she knew I was going in but I never heard a peep out of her after that. I brought her up on it the next time I saw her during a group meet-up - I was willing to get past it but things didn’t feel the same, and she continued to just not message me. At one point, at another group meet-up, she changed tack and tried to say that she HAD messaged me, she was sure of it, that they must not have come through... that was the point at which I totally gave up.

I was the last of that group to have a kid so they all knew how hard the newborn time is - apparently they couldn’t remember or didn’t care, and didn’t have the capacity to consider how much more difficult it would be whilst also having cancer treatment. I also have a useless, narcissistic family so I felt quite alone. Thank goodness for my incredible husband.

Sometimes I want to wipe my friend slate completely clean and begin afresh. I’ve ended some friendships but given how generally unsupported I felt during the most horrific experience, I wonder whether I shouldn’t have brought it up with more of my friends at the time.

Sorry to hear that. I don't know what's wrong with people these days, a bit of support between friends was always a given.

Hissed at me for 30 mins on the phone over not being invited to another friend's silver wedding anniversary party. The couple chose people who were at their wedding, and this friend didn't know them at the time they married, and was very much a periphery friend anyway. And she blamed ME for not being invited to THEIR party. I'm not sure wtf I was supposed to do about that.

We met 10 years ago and she was quite intense but we had similar interests and she was good fun. She also supported me through a bereavement and I’ll always be grateful to her for that but she just went from one drama to the next and it didn’t seem to occur to her that she was the common denominator in all of it.

It became clear that she saw me as a bit of a cash machine, and frankly I got bored of hearing about everything going wrong in her life when it was all due to her own poor decisions. She could also be incredibly rude about people who were in earshot and I would cringe at her behaviour sometimes. I ended up telling her how her behaviour made me feel; she replied but I deleted the message without reading it. She messaged again earlier this year saying she was thinking of me, perhaps we could meet up blah blah but I didn’t respond.

I haven’t dumped her yet but I plan to.

She’s totally self absorbed and can talk about herself and her life for hours in excruciating detail - she can spend an hour telling me about her car MOT and exactly what needed fixing and exactly what the mechanic said. Her every mundane life (non) event is explained minutely.

On the odd occasion I get a word in its painfully obvious that she’s not really interested - she’s just waiting for her chance to speak again.

I recently had a few things going on that worried me and as usual she couldn’t have been less interested. I think we spoke about me for 3 minutes before she steered the conversation back onto herself.

Next time she suggests meeting up I’m going to decline and I’m going to tell her why. She really hurt me this time and I couldn’t give a shit if I upset her quite frankly.

I think we both used to be friends with the same person! Mine was apparently “really hurt” that I didn’t take her with me to my friend’s 40th. She’d met him twice! I hadn’t seen him in nearly a year myself; I was surprised that I was invited, never mind friends of mine he barely knew!

The odd thing is that I know for sure that she'd have declined the invitation. It just pissed her off that she wasn't top priority.

You should have returned her electrical item 10 years ago.

It wasn't me who borrowed it. Exact details of the item, the reason DH had it and its purpose have been changed to protect the innocent.