Where has all the kindness gone? Why are poolpe so selfish and mean.

[DragonsFurry]

Honestly, what is wrong with people nowadays? Am I imagining it or has the manner in which we treat each other drastically declined.

I find myself frequently either having to stand up for myself of trying very hard to overlook and ignore the crappy behaviour of others.

Maybe I'm just in a menopausal fug. Have others noticed a general decline in how people treat each other? Or is it just me getting unnecessarily more bothered about things.

Yes, very definitely.

I think since Brexit/Covid. All those times elderly relatives said wistfully “we need a war to bring us all together”. Ummmm… no!

Those scenes of people scrambling and scrapping in supermarkets for the last pack of 24 loo rolls. That’s where we are now.

People are loud, abrasive and entitled. I still see a lot of kindness here and there but mostly, it’s people just pushing and shoving and not caring at all, about other people.

It's shitty.

I do think social media, and such targeted news doesn't help. We see lots of stories about some of the worst of humanity - before, you'd see it on the news or in your newspaper, so you could control how much you saw. Now it's EVERYWHERE. Sex scandals and child abuse, really grim stuff - all over your socials, or linked into a WhatsApp, or a pop up notification. I think we also glorify it a bit too much if I'm honest.

People are also just sick of life in general. Almost everyone I know has had issue after issue the last 4 years. It's hard to be genuinely kind and thoughtful when life feels like sucker punch after sucker punch.

No, not something I've noticed.

LittleRedRidingHoody
Abuse scandals are coming out one after the other: Prince Andrew & Epstein, Jimmy Saville, AlFayed, the lady in France and on and on. It's so horrible and fucking and fucking depressing. As if other human beings mean nothing.

TheCanaryInThePurpleSkirt
I've definitely noticed way more grabbiness.

Yesterday a very well to do looking family literally raced myself and my DD into Pizza Express so they could get in first...a totally ridiculous move as the place was empty. I just don't know what in Earth they were thinking! If it wasn't so rude, it would have been quite funny.

I'm staying home/local as much as possible now until after Christmas. I feel like moving to a woodland or somewhere very remote and just checking out.

I have a theory stupid things like people can no longer give others the left over time on their parking ticket (because they all take reg number now) twats resell free gifted items from facebook etc.
As the easy simple acts of kindness are removed so businesses/twats can make more money we see less little acts that make us feel happier about the world and the goodness of others.

I agree it's got a lot worse especially post Covid and endless cuts to services. MH issues are high and underestimated. There seems to be so much anger and resentment just beneath the surface with culture wars stirring up division. It's very sad.

I agree, and at the heart of a lot of it, has been the rhetoric spouted by the last Government, and their actions, especially during Covid crisis.

Yes, people are more selfish, suspicious, less tolerant, I've never made the connection @Dosomethingusefulnow suggested, but yes! that is right, I used to love giving someone my leftover time on the parking ticket - made myself and them happy and smile! There is far less general good nature around.

The other thing I really roll my eyes get irritated at (very popular on MN) is the sanctimonious intoning about "my boundaries" AKA summarily cutting family, friends and acquaintances out of your life due to some perceived offence or other.

You don't have to be on the same page as everyone. You can sometimes just tolerate people for a short time, they have to tolerate you too and may also secretly think you are a bit
annoying or even a toxic arsehole. Usually you can learn something from the differences, even if it's just how not to be such a crappy person as they are being.

I had a close relative whose ethos on life was “always be kind” and he was. I also try to live by this. Others may disagree with it and I often read on here comments like “no good deed goes unpunished” and similar which I find rather sad. I find the always be kind is a good ethos to live by. Sometimes it backfires but most people respond well to simple kindness and it’s so much more pleasant going through life being kind to people than shitting all over them.

No, lots of people are really nice to me. If you dress up, wear makeup and smile a lot people will be nicer. That's what I've found and I use it to my advantage. If I wear a nice sun hat I get treated like royalty :)

A sun hat?

Interesting.

I agree with the smiling.

Ok🤔

This. Well said. It’s a dog eat dog/cat/mouse/gerbil/goat whatever world.

Little kindnesses. It’s a shame.

That's nice

That's me dusting off the Bonmarche fedora ready for tomorrow. Thanks for the tip.

I live in a tiny village (160 people) in a very remote location you would never pass a fellow villager in the street without at the very least smiling and saying hello and preferably stopping and having a chat. The village has a kind community orientated feel about it people help each other out look after the elderly and housebound etc. Friends and tourists who visit here comment on it. Thus in my mind proving that most people actually like human kindness.
In my village you don’t need to dress up wear make up or a sun hat for people to smile at you and just be nice.

Hmmm. Well, I smile a lot and apart when from when I’m mucking out animals, I look nice (I think). At work I’m kind and pretty tolerant of others (I think).

I was walking home from work today and had finished late which meant two schools had just finished. I was constantly on and off the pavement because of kids walking 3/4 abreast. I didn’t want any aggro so just carried on, close to the kerb.

No basic manners. Foul language and a fair bit of spitting. Nice.

It's happening everywhere. IMO it's because the post war compassion that brought people together eg the UN, human rights treaties, the NHS and Welfare state has dissipated.

This happened in the 80s under Reagan and Thatcher with deindustrialization, deregulation, globalisation and neoliberalism.

Wealth the world over is in the hands of a select few. Global corporations make huge profits at the expense of human rights. A few billionaires run the media and the world in their own interests.

Wealth disparity and increasing deregulation means people are fighting like rats in a sack for the scraps.

Going back to the question, people are more selfish because individualism is prized at the expense of society. We live in an "I'm all right Jack" bubble where people casually talk about privatising the NHS because they can afford to go private.

People think nothing about the Tories wanting to get rid off fundamental human rights laws because they don't want someone else to have any.

The disabled and vulnerable are called scroungers and MPs have just voted for a bill that I see only going one way because society doesn't seem to care about basic humanity anymore.

Er, okay then … 🫣 🤔 🧢

I’d like to move to your village!
What I have noticed is that no one will do anything anymore unless there’s something in it for them.. mainly money.
Every business these days is squeezing every penny out of customers for maximum gain for themselves. Tiny portions , crap quality and inflated prices in cafes and restaurants. Clothes shops all the material is cheap rubbish and poorly made but prices are high. Endless gimmicks to get people to spend . If you want to do a course, the cost is called an ‘investment’ and that’s supposed to make you feel special instead of ripped off.

You can’t watch the news without some bloody competition urging you to spend money in the hope of winning lots of life changing cash. Shopping channels everywhere, advertising everywhere. The only values we are taught to admire are materialism and greed. It makes people angry, entitled and selfish.

We are constantly bombarded by bad news, scandals and tales of murder and war. It makes people fear others and put their guard up. There is no gentleness or gentility anymore. No kindness or respect.

I was in the post office today. A woman tried to be nice to the person serving and he just ignored her . I thought that was sad. He was just abrasive and irritated with the customers. She was reaching out and being kind and sympathetic and he just completely blanked her .

I've found it's the unawareness because people are glued to their phones, also talking while driving, being on facetime in public etc. Everyone is in a rush because contact is instant, myself included. This has unequivocally led to not being aware of/caring about immediate surroundings and hence lack of observation and manners.

The number of times I've been walking anywhere and aware it's narrow so move a bit to the side and the other person has just walked straight into me involved on their phone and not noticed. Some say sorry, others don't acknowledge, a few will call you names.

Also all the fake comradery. People in call centres pretending to be interested in your personal life. It devalues genuine empathy and connection.

I hear this from family and friends all the time. I’m on Rightmove frequently looking for remote Scottish and Welsh villages to retire to. My holidays for the past 4yrs have been “cabin in the woods” style basic with no WiFi and fields for miles.

The noise of people and pace of life is anathema to me. And it’s in our faces constantly. If watching tv, I cannot bear the ads these days. It’s all of the above noise and frantic noise turned up to grab our attention.

We’ve lost a generation to non communication in a world where we HAVE to communicate, ready or not. Brash and in-real.

Call centres? You're lucky if you even get to speak to a real person in a call centre now.

I do feel live society is starting to break down. People just think they can so what they like. Knife crime seems to be increasing too. The police do nothing about shoplifters so more people do it in plain sight.

I agree, and enjoy similar holidays! The best holiday I had recently was in a cottage in the Lakes with no phone reception or WiFi. I felt incredibly anxious for the first couple of days, then gradually got used to it and read more books than I have done in years, with total concentration. I also felt far happier and less stressed .