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Where has all the kindness gone? Why are poolpe so selfish and mean.

133 replies

DragonsFurry · 02/12/2024 20:04

Honestly, what is wrong with people nowadays? Am I imagining it or has the manner in which we treat each other drastically declined.

I find myself frequently either having to stand up for myself of trying very hard to overlook and ignore the crappy behaviour of others.

Maybe I'm just in a menopausal fug. Have others noticed a general decline in how people treat each other? Or is it just me getting unnecessarily more bothered about things.

OP posts:
stickygotstuck · 03/12/2024 11:21

I agree with PPs that it's a matter of numbers. There's too many people around, everywhere, all the time, being loud and getting in your face. All the bloody time. Encouraged by a societal trend where taking up space and being loud is seen as a positive.

The more people around, the less each person is valued. Human brains are not developed for the constant hyperstimulation the world is subjecting them to currently. So explosions happen more often (& spare a thought for ND brains, which were already overloaded).

Simply put, it's the decline of our western civilisation. Civilisations have an expiry date, ours is getting near.

User135644 · 03/12/2024 11:23

There's too many people in the country for one thing. It's so crowded.

Portakalkedi · 03/12/2024 11:27

Indeed. Not sure it's down to Covid, more a general slide into grabbiness, entitlement and selfishness. Record numbers of people 'on the sick', so many living on benefits when they could work, so many believing they are entitled to have everything they want because they see others have it, whether they need or can afford those things. I would say social media has a lot to do with it, everyone seeing the boasting of others and feeling they are missing out. It's all rather sad.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Mylifeisamesssuchamess · 03/12/2024 11:40

User135644 · 03/12/2024 11:23

There's too many people in the country for one thing. It's so crowded.

Japan is so densely populated and they are so of the politest/most respectful people on the planet.

amoreoamicizia · 03/12/2024 11:42

I disagree re. population and numbers. Hong Kong, Japan and Singapore are some of the most densely populated places on earth and yet they are some of the most polite.

CatrionaBalfour · 03/12/2024 16:41

amoreoamicizia · 03/12/2024 11:42

I disagree re. population and numbers. Hong Kong, Japan and Singapore are some of the most densely populated places on earth and yet they are some of the most polite.

I would agree. It's nothing to do with overcrowding, it's people's attitude.

CatrionaBalfour · 03/12/2024 16:44

Mylifeisamesssuchamess · 03/12/2024 08:20

I don't think that's necessarily true. Think about countries with dictatorships or strict communist regimes. The general population aren't necessarily mean or nasty.

I travelled in the Soviet Union. They were some of the kindest and friendliest people I'd ever met

NewName24 · 03/12/2024 17:03

Moonlightstars · 03/12/2024 07:05

I haven't noticed this at all. I work in a big quite deprived city. If I smile and am respectful to people they are back to me. Including all ages here.
I've been doing similar work for 20 odd years and think it might be a bit better Tbh than it was in the 00s.
COVID around here brought people together. We set up a community support system that have been transformed into a permanent LA funded service.

This is my experience too.

NewName24 · 03/12/2024 17:06

No, lots of people are really nice to me. If you dress up, wear makeup and smile a lot people will be nicer. That's what I've found and I use it to my advantage.

Ha Ha Ha.
I rarely dress up (special occasions only). I wear make up even less frequently. However, I find people to be nice the overwhelming majority of the time.
Th only bit of this sentence that I agree with is if you smile at people , and are generally nice to people yourself, then they do tend to reply in the same spirit.

If I wear a nice sun hat I get treated like royalty :)

I don't even know where to start with this ridiculousness.

User135644 · 03/12/2024 17:22

Mylifeisamesssuchamess · 03/12/2024 11:40

Japan is so densely populated and they are so of the politest/most respectful people on the planet.

They aren't importing millions of migrants every year tbf. It's much more of a monoculture.

DreamyJadeMoose · 03/12/2024 17:39

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

Mylifeisamesssuchamess · 03/12/2024 17:56

This reply has been deleted

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

This isn't aimed at you as so many people are doing the same but I find this is part of the problem.

Mylifeisamesssuchamess · 03/12/2024 17:57

User135644 · 03/12/2024 17:22

They aren't importing millions of migrants every year tbf. It's much more of a monoculture.

Are you blaming migrants and multicultural society for people being unkind?

justasking111 · 03/12/2024 18:02

NewName24 · 02/12/2024 20:45

No, not something I've noticed.

Nor me. But we live in a Welsh backwater where nothing changes quickly

VegTrug · 03/12/2024 18:26

CharlotteLucas3 · 02/12/2024 22:18

No, lots of people are really nice to me. If you dress up, wear makeup and smile a lot people will be nicer. That's what I've found and I use it to my advantage. If I wear a nice sun hat I get treated like royalty :)

You believe you need to wear make up in order for people to be nice to you?!?!? That’s really sad that you actually believe that, wow

1dayatatime · 03/12/2024 18:32

@justasking111

"But we live in a Welsh backwater where nothing changes quickly"

Actually there is a lot of positive in that!

Tealeavesinthecup · 03/12/2024 18:50

Mylifeisamesssuchamess · 03/12/2024 17:56

This isn't aimed at you as so many people are doing the same but I find this is part of the problem.

Absolutely it is. ‘I’m all right Jack and to hell with everyone else’. It isn’t the answer.

User135644 · 03/12/2024 19:03

Mylifeisamesssuchamess · 03/12/2024 17:57

Are you blaming migrants and multicultural society for people being unkind?

No but Japanese culture is known for its manners and customs. And it has been diluted as their immigration levels are very low. Sweden for example used to be very low crime before mass immigration.

UK has always had an angry underbelly. But it was more traditionally well mannered.

Mylifeisamesssuchamess · 03/12/2024 19:07

User135644 · 03/12/2024 19:03

No but Japanese culture is known for its manners and customs. And it has been diluted as their immigration levels are very low. Sweden for example used to be very low crime before mass immigration.

UK has always had an angry underbelly. But it was more traditionally well mannered.

Ummm still sounds like you are blaming immigration to be honest.

DragonsFurry · 03/12/2024 19:35

1dayatatime · 03/12/2024 18:32

@justasking111

"But we live in a Welsh backwater where nothing changes quickly"

Actually there is a lot of positive in that!

I've heard Wales is the place to be. I've only been once or twice years ago and it was a very friendly place then.

OP posts:
toepick · 03/12/2024 20:57

I agree with poster up thread

There has always been a shadow side to humanity

But there is always kindness and light if you look

WhatUSeeIsWhatUGet · 03/12/2024 22:19

MyDogWalksHimselfAndDoesTheHoovering · 03/12/2024 02:47

Agree OP - I live in a safe place but sometimes feel quite jumpy like my nerves are getting bad. Aggressive drivers, inconsiderate delivery vans parking anywhere they feel like and then just about banging your door down.

Roads are busy all the time. Even during the day on weekdays which used to be traditionally quiet. In fact everywhere I go no matter what time is so crowded. Does nobody work anymore.

Houses are fuller. I used to live in a new build in the nineties and a huge amount of the houses had 1 person living in them. This was 2 bed bungalows to 4 bed houses. Literally in my street I was surrounded by quietness. Today I also live in a new build estate (well 20 years old) and it is just so much louder. Plots are smaller and have less outlook and have more people in them. Each house has mostly 2 cars or more. Some have 4 cars. I mean a 4 bedroom house with 4 cars but only parking for 2 so 2 are strewn on the pavements making the place feel cluttered. Visitors have nowhere to park so park on the street. This never happened where I used to live. Houses had 1 car or 2 at most.

Christmas lights. In the nineties one neighbour used to decorate his house for charity and it was lovely. We would all go to the turning on of the lights. Now my street has flashing lights left, right and centre. In fact the houses without lights are like oddballs.

It's rush, rush, rush , loud, loud, loud, bright, bright, bright.

I jest not. I sometimes stay up during the night and read, surf the net, watch films etc just to enjoy the peace and quiet.
Then during the day I pop in ear plugs and go to bed. (retired so can do)

I feel quite anxious, jittery and find it hard to relax like I am overstimulated too much now. I used to love reading books. Going to bed early and reading for a few hours. Now replaced by reading mumsnet which I enjoy but adds to the stimulation. I've tried to go back to reading but my concentration is shot to pieces.

I honestly don't think humans are meant to be so crowded, rushed, overstimulated and it's making us all angry and a bit crazy.

Threw in constant wait times on the phone to get anything done and people are tearing their hair out.
Lack of gp's , dentists, potholes, food prices, electricity and gas prices and I think we are all just frustrated beyond belief.

I also think there is alot of 'trickery' about - scams which means we have to be guarded. Supermarkets shrinking food and thinking we don't notice when in fact we feel ripped off. Poor quality products that don't last or aren't right in the first place. No tradesman (or a nightmare to get one) or they do a shit job and you feel ripped off.

Even the dating world seems to have become much less civilised. I know I sound like an old grumpy woman (and I probably am) but it was lovely when men opened doors and brought flowers and walked on the outside of the pavement. 'Courting' and good manners seem to have disappeared to be replaced by violent, angry, some of it quite unbelievable porn which our young men are growing up with. ( Ex partners have told me things they have seen and I was quite horrified!) The nineties were a great sweet spot, women were pretty much going to uni and getting good jobs but dating was still nice and traditional. I wish I had appreciated it more.

People getting beheaded on the internet, animals getting tortured on the internet for 'fun'. Yes humans are very, very scary when I think about it. And so many children being murdered by their parents or parents boyfriend/girlfriend. I don't remember it being so constant in the news

My parents (both dead now) lived in a wee village in north scotland. When they moved there the sense of community was huge. That really died away over the years and the roads in and out of the village became so so busy. So even in the small villages you can't escape the madness. They used to have this great plumber who was super reliable, pleasant, good at his job and reasonably priced. He died, his son took over. He was unreliable, much more expensive, much more slapdash with the work and a couldn't care less attitude.

Sorry for depressing everyone!

🎯

It's the entropy, I guess...

HeadacheEarthquake · 03/12/2024 22:21

As Sartre said

Hell is other poolpe

unclemtty · 03/12/2024 23:09

Gillettethebest · 03/12/2024 07:45

I’ve had some lovely interactions with call centre staff but one from a health insurance company boiled my blood. I asked her why the specialist hadn’t called me back on my phone already, since the app connection wasn’t working as she’d said “ the specialist will call you back”, in reply to my request for her to email them since we weren’t able to connect via the app.

And my point was essentially- I’m meant to be having the session now and she’s clearly not called me back so can you just please email her before our session window ends and ask her to call me ?

The agents reply was “ well i’m not a magician, so I can’t read her mind and tell you why she’s not called ” not only massively missing the point but rude and unhelpful too!

Spoiler the specialist did of course not call me back on my phone, and the agent refused to email her to ask so I had to book another phone appointment. So yeah I was right.

she was saying “the specialist will call you back immediately, I don’t need to email her” when the evidence was clearly Showing she hadn’t done that and needed to be prompted.

TDLR: the agent was an absolute clown but she motivated me to cancel my £80 a month AXA insurance a few months later so that’s something 😂

Honestly though I’ve worked in call centres for years in my 20s and never spoke to anyone like that!

Edited

I've really noticed how rude call centre people are. I know it's a crappy job, but it's quite something when you are ringing up to report an issue/fault with the service the company you use and just get a load of lip!

Tealeavesinthecup · 03/12/2024 23:14

What I find is that they are either falsely friendly ( thinking of the form you will fill in after the call on their performance) or bored, borderline rude and completely incompetent. You either get fobbed off, passed on to someone else or cut off. I have several times had someone just put me on hold whilst they literally disappear and don’t return. I imagine them going into another room to watch tv or have a drink while the phone is just left on a desk. When there are no supervisors keeping them in line they just don’t give a shit. Nearly all the time they are virtually incomprehensible as well which doesn’t help. This last is not their fault of course.