Where has all the kindness gone? Why are poolpe so selfish and mean.

[DragonsFurry]

Honestly, what is wrong with people nowadays? Am I imagining it or has the manner in which we treat each other drastically declined.

I find myself frequently either having to stand up for myself of trying very hard to overlook and ignore the crappy behaviour of others.

Maybe I'm just in a menopausal fug. Have others noticed a general decline in how people treat each other? Or is it just me getting unnecessarily more bothered about things.

Totally agree with your point about having to stand up for yourself. I've generally always been someone who avoids confrontation,but I have found that now,at the grand old age of 61,that I am having to be a lot more assertive and even pushy,otherwise other people just take the piss and walk all over me. I have a disability and various health issues and sometimes struggle with stuff like not being able to get a seat on public transport,people queue jumping,and not being able to pack my shopping quickly enough. Unfortunately there are too many people out there who are all too quick to take advantage of someone who is a bit slow.

Im an HCP I work in palliative care in the community we are literally paid to be kind to people and care about complete strangers at the worst time in their lives. In 99% of cases people respond well to kindness many I think are taken aback by how kind and caring strangers are to them and their family and friends and even in the worst times in their lives respond to our kindness by being kind to us we get offered tea food they enquire about our families/lives/plans for our days off etc because we enquire and look after them. I know at the end of your life you really need human kindness but it’s made me realise that most people deep down need it too. It cost nothing to be kind.
I’ve been an HCP in other areas as well and I find it’s the same there in most cases if you treat people with kindness and care they respond in the same way although of course the are are small group who don’t.

Nasty and mean governments = nasty and mean people

I haven't noticed this at all. I work in a big quite deprived city. If I smile and am respectful to people they are back to me. Including all ages here.
I've been doing similar work for 20 odd years and think it might be a bit better Tbh than it was in the 00s.
COVID around here brought people together. We set up a community support system that have been transformed into a permanent LA funded service.

I use a walking stick, generally I've found that people are quite kind and considerate, there are always exceptions though.

I’ve travelled a lot and the passive aggression/ rudeness/ lack of empathy/ entitlement / road rage is definitely very much a UK thing.
It hasn’t always been like this. Insidious over the years but so noticeable now. Not sure about the cause.

I had an interesting trip to our nearest town yesterday. Usually, I find it quite stressful - people behaving in an entitled way eg standing in front of shelves for ages, unaware others are waiting etc.

Yesterday was very different. Perhaps a small part of it was that it was a Monday - I usually work on Mondays but had the day off. So it wasn’t super busy, perhaps people were rested from the weekend.

But on reflection, I think the main difference was me. I wasn’t in a rush or stressed, was interested in the people around me - had a nice chat with a barista in a quiet coffee shop and leaving the car park noticed a chap about to buy a parking ticket and knew I had an hour left on mine so gave it to him - he actually couldn’t quite believe it and kept saying thank you and Happy Christmas 😊

A good learning for me. Be less stressed and make an effort with people - and shop on a Monday!

oh and FWIW I didn’t look especially great - little make up and no hat 😆

Celebrity culture, reality TV and social media also have a lot to answer for. Young people are surrounded by images of bad behaviour - it's being normalised.

And noise. Nothing is ever done quietly any more. Noise overload in homes, schools, shops, restaurants.

@Katyfour I’m there now too. Frankly, if I never had to go more than 3miles from my home, I wouldn’t. I go out with friends occasionally but generally feel “safer” at home. Physically and emotionally.

I have Aspergers. In my lifetime I’ve had husband, kids, done well in my career and have close friends. In the past 6/7 years I’ve been less and less able to stomach the world and those in it. An acquaintance alluded to my “condition” as the reason I’d become a bit reclusive of late. No!! I corrected him… my “condition” is a constant; it’s the world and the people in it that are becoming less bearable. I haven’t changed. Out there has!

Remember to wear makeup 😉!

All societal ills sorted out with a swipe of lippie. Who knew! 🤔

I'm going to agree - I think society has become more selfish and self obsessed. I saw a thread on here, about someone asking for a lift for their child to an activity. The anger! Calling the person names, vile language, they're a CF....the majority were horrified and wouldn't give a child a lift. It was awful. I really despair that most people now will only do something if they get something in return.
Same with people trying to sell things that previously would just have been given away to help someone else.

That's me sorted 👍

If you laugh more you are kinder.

And having a GP that listens.

This is true.

I don't recognise this at all, but I am not in the UK. My mum is though and she says stuff like this all the time! Last time I was in the UK it felt dirty, expensive and so over-crowded (and I used to live in London so don't mind crowds!). And the gloomy weather never helps my mood in the UK either.

Have you been approached in the street by this group asking for donations whose approach is "are you a nice person?"?
Being kind is equal to being a fool, for some people.
Everyone is in a rush too.

I’ve had some lovely interactions with call centre staff but one from a health insurance company boiled my blood. I asked her why the specialist hadn’t called me back on my phone already, since the app connection wasn’t working as she’d said “ the specialist will call you back”, in reply to my request for her to email them since we weren’t able to connect via the app.

And my point was essentially- I’m meant to be having the session now and she’s clearly not called me back so can you just please email her before our session window ends and ask her to call me ?

The agents reply was “ well i’m not a magician, so I can’t read her mind and tell you why she’s not called ” not only massively missing the point but rude and unhelpful too!

Spoiler the specialist did of course not call me back on my phone, and the agent refused to email her to ask so I had to book another phone appointment. So yeah I was right.

she was saying “the specialist will call you back immediately, I don’t need to email her” when the evidence was clearly Showing she hadn’t done that and needed to be prompted.

TDLR: the agent was an absolute clown but she motivated me to cancel my £80 a month AXA insurance a few months later so that’s something 😂

Honestly though I’ve worked in call centres for years in my 20s and never spoke to anyone like that!

😂😂😂

Well, I still get asked if I need help going down the stairs with a trolley/suitcase/loads of bags. I mostly always say yes. It is kind of them and makes them feel good that they have helped. Also I often get offered a seat on the bus. Although I try to look young, my aching body gives me away!

Although I can be a miserable bugger on the bus and don't necessarily want to talk to people but I am trying to change this as it costs nothing to spend a little time talking to someone. I know I hate it if I haven't chatted to someone for a while.

I did get pissed off in Boots when the woman in front of me had a full basket of stuff and could clearly see I had two things in my basket but I actually wasn't in a rush so let it go..

What group? Sorry I don't understand.
However I do agree that some people think that being kind and helpful is being a mug or a fool.

In just the last ten years the UK population has increased 10% from 64 million to 70 million.

More people in the same space creates greater stress and aggression.

A beret worn at a jaunty angle may elicit a smile and a cheery 'hullo'!

I don’t recognise it at all. I live in the U.K. I live in a lovely part of the world and people are very friendly and helpful. I think crappy people are all over the world to be honest but British people do love to complain, that’s for sure.

@Gorgonemilezola
I am with you on the noise overload!