How to manage child being disappointed re Xmas present?

[coffeepulease]

I gave my mother (child's granny) a specific toy idea for my son's Christmas gift- something that was amongst a list of about 4 things he's keen on. Since that time he's started talking about this one toy a lot, and seems even more keen / hopeful it might be under the tree.

Difficulty is that we are not seeing Granny until the 27th, so on the day itself he'll have other lovely things to unwrap but not the special toy.

If I'd known how much he had begin to like this toy I might have bought it myself and let Granny get something different since she won't be seeing him on the day itself.

She's already bought the toy and is looking forward to giving it to DS on the 27th.

Other than saying "ooh perhaps Santas been to Granny's home too" how can I manage his (potential) disappointed reaction on Xmas day at not getting the one toy he wanted but without saying "Granny's got it" and spoiling the surprise for them both?

Ah yes, when you've no constructive argument then name calling it is. 🫣

Did I? Are you sure? I said 'many' and 'some,' someone else said 'most'.
Do I care?

Exactly - people are acting like he won't get the gift at all!

In what universe is it upsetting to get a much-wanted gift from granny, two days after receiving lots of other lovely gifts?!

How to ensure your small child becomes immediately suspicious about Father Christmas. Let his granny give him the gift on his list,

Or, you just explain that you gave his list to granny/Uncle Fred as well as to Santa because Santa has millions of children to buy for and can't get them all everything they want?

@coffeesaveslives why would you do that when the whole point of the letter is giving it to Father Christmas so he does his magic?

"Emotionally fucked up" by not thinking it’s necessary to rush to fulfil a child's every single wish immediately, when he will have a huge number of other gifts, things he also wanted, to play with and will only have to wait two days for more happiness with the other one?

Gosh.

"Doing his magic" doesn't mean "he brings every single thing on the list".

You can easily make sure "Father Christmas" delivers one or two or the gifts that were on the letter, then spread the rest around parents, family and friends.

That's what my parents always did when I was growing up, and I was just as happy getting the Polly Pocket mansion from Grandma on Boxing Day as I would have been getting it from Father Christmas the day before.

Yes. When there's a way to meet a child's want on as day and actively choose an alternative. I do call that emotionally fucked up

The child's needs will be met.
It's one present which he will get the joy of receiving from Granny.

But his "wants" will be met - just 48 hours later!

Honestly, no child is going to be "emotionally fucked up" from this. The drama on this thread is absolutely ridiculous.

👍👍👍👍👍👍

@coffeepulease
If this was the other way round it is your neice / nephew and you have the much wanted gift.

Your Sis / Brother calls and says, "James has being going on and on about that Paw Patrol character.
On one hand you hope he won't notice its not there on Christmas morning but on the other your worried they'll be really disappointed. Would you be ok with swapping and giving him x instead?"

It's not demanding it's explaining and asking nicely.

And a polite no will suffice, along with saying how much you're looking forward to seeing him open it.

Quoted in error

@Anonycat yes, that's what I do. I want my DD and my (now grown up selfish entitled 28 year old son) to be as spoilt as possible so that she can grow up to be an absolutely over-entitled adult because she got what she asked for on Christmas day when she was 4.

Right so we only meet needs not wants on Christmas 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

I am very grateful family isn't of your mind it sounds joyless.

It's Xmas he is four. Why are you making him wait? It's Xmas it's one day, any granny I know would want their grandchildren to have that magic.

Yea that one toy at age 4! Honestly if that's what you think impacts a childs development then I suggest you pick up a book on child development.

@Marblesbackagain I don't know if you meant to quote me but my post was meant to be sarcastic.

You call it emotionally fucked up. I call it not encouraging entitlement and total instant gratification. We'll just have to disagree.

I agree.

We do all gifts from Santa but if we didn’t, both my mum and MIL would’ve gladly swapped a present to be sure the one he wanted most was under the tree for Xmas day for maximum magic.

It's nothing to do with "making him wait". He'll get lots of lovely presents on the 25th and is then going to be lucky enough to get even more lovely presents on the 27th.

I really don't think his Christmas will be ruined because he got one much-wanted present two days later than all of his other presents

Have you met a child? There's usually one thing as indicated in the opening post.

So yes I do think it's unnecessarily mean for an adult to withhold something to teach a fecking life lesson at age 4 on Xmas day.

Sorry @kirinm wrong post. Apologies.