How to manage child being disappointed re Xmas present?

[coffeepulease]

I gave my mother (child's granny) a specific toy idea for my son's Christmas gift- something that was amongst a list of about 4 things he's keen on. Since that time he's started talking about this one toy a lot, and seems even more keen / hopeful it might be under the tree.

Difficulty is that we are not seeing Granny until the 27th, so on the day itself he'll have other lovely things to unwrap but not the special toy.

If I'd known how much he had begin to like this toy I might have bought it myself and let Granny get something different since she won't be seeing him on the day itself.

She's already bought the toy and is looking forward to giving it to DS on the 27th.

Other than saying "ooh perhaps Santas been to Granny's home too" how can I manage his (potential) disappointed reaction on Xmas day at not getting the one toy he wanted but without saying "Granny's got it" and spoiling the surprise for them both?

How do you actually put into a sentence at the 4yo steeped in Santa understands and without ruining the magic of Christmas, as they are putting out mince pies and carrots, before they go to bed remember Santa won't bring your toy you've been asking about for weeks Granny will have the thing you really want but you won't see her for another two days?

Very easily, really.

"Remember DS, Santa only brings one or two gifts from your list every year - but don't forget granny, Uncle Fred and Aunt Miriam have got you presents too, so there'll be even more to open in two days!"

I'm not sure why everyone is making it into a huge drama. I regularly got what I asked Santa for from family or friends several days later - it was normal. Certainly no need for swapping or tantrums or tears.

I had stupidly given gift ideas to my family for DD and then realised they were two things from her letter to Father Christmas. I just apologised and said sorry, we need these items here on Christmas Day. I'd suggest swapping the gift out.

You did what?
How utterly rude and disrespectful.

@KittyPup s idea was much better.

lol your response is nuts

I would be mortified to behave like that. Your poor relatives!

Why not just say to DD that Santa can't buy everything so gave have her list to granny and her aunties and uncles too?

How do you manage to get through day to day life?!

It is absolutely not disrespectful to swap gift ideas before the gifts have even been purchased. Bloody hell, relax.

The only rude person here is you.

@coffeesaveslives mortified because you've made some suggestions to family members and then realised that actually of the few items on the list, they are two of them so here's an alternative suggestion. Yeah how mortifying!!

Some people are literally are insane.

It read as though they'd already bought the gifts.

Calm down!

Response in proportion to previous comment.
Thanks for your highly constructive input though.

I understand why so many children are the way they are nowadays.
Also, the wording of the pp suggests gifts were already purchased, not just planned purchases. 🫣

It really does read as if the gifts have already been purchased.

You’re welcome

Sarcasm not on your radar then?

😂😂😂😂😂😂
I hope you’re joking

@coffeesaveslives I wasn't the person mortified about somebody else's 'poor relatives' so I don't need to calm down.

I'd be much less likely to suggest it if they had been purchased but I also know, because although slightly dysfunctional, they are grown adults, that they would also offer to have it sent to our house.

“Mortified”? “Insane”?

Are you ok?

@Soasis I think people here are hysterical but the use of the word mortified was aimed at me not used by me (initially).

I am not being passive aggressive . I am stating what happened in my family!

@coffeepulease we had this issue back in 2014. My eldest got very excited about a certain Fireman Sam vehicle, I knew my wonderful mother had bought it. We had a chat she swapped it with another gift.

Because both of us were of the opinion that him having the wanted toy was the priority.

Sorry my life experience of this situation is for some reason is not meeting your bloody standard!

He's 4 there's a good chance he'll want something different by Christmas day.

My apologies I completely misread your post! 🙈

How many children do you know?

Jesus your understanding of what is rude and disrespectful is miles away

Families work together to give the child the magical experience. They prioritise the child not the bloody adults experience of gifting.

Thankfully my family and others are like this.

Do you mean confident, articulate, self advocating and enabled to call out bullying and emotionally manipulative adults,?

Yep damn proud of my pair.