What’s the best bit of advice you’ve ever received on MN?

[DressingAsMyFavouriteQualityStreet]

For me, there are loads, but there is one thing that is really working out for me.

On one of my many distraught threads about 2 toxic women I have to deal with in my DH’s family, I was told to “drop the rope” and “do nothing”.

I’ve been doing this for 3 years now, and it has transformed my MH and life around these people. It’s still a DH problem, yes. I just “do nothing”. When they texted me, I just diverted them to DH. I left him to arrange all meet ups, communication, remembering birthdays, everything. Turns out, it doesn’t get done if I’m not doing it. I grey rocked, dropped the rope, did nothing, and am still doing nothing, and I am now seeing them once a year where I smile and say nothing and grey rock it. It’s absolute bliss.

So, who’d have thought that doing nothing could change so much? Its amazing.

What’s the best advice you’ve ever got on MN and how has it helped you?

Didn't see them. I think it was a PBP to have all posts go

Lasagne bed! (Waterproof sheet then sheet then waterproof sheet then sheet), total game-changer for when DD was little.

Another bedding one for when switching from baby sleeping bag to duvet: put single duvet horizontally on the bed and tucked under each side, much more likely to stay on all night.

Finally, the most wise words which I use quite regularly as a clumsy person: a dropped knife has no handle. You’re welcome.

You’ll be happier when you stop hoping.

mint tea for tummy troubles. livesaver for any bloating, gas or indigestion, works like a charm every time

No is a full sentence.

Yes, indeed! But I genuinely didn't twig that clockwise consistently tightens and anticlockwise consistently loosens. The mnemonic helps me associate the action with the consequence.

I can't quite believe that I didn't manage to work it out myself 🤣

Too many to count!
Grey rock and drop the rope I've passed on to DH to help him deal with an incredibly toxic work situation.

Hot water gets calpol out of a carpet is a winner.

I learned on here too late what coercive control and emotionally abusive behaviour from a bloke looks like and really means. I'd already LTB by that point but I wish I'd had MN while I was dealing with that.

As I entered the perimenopause and my DS2 entered pubity. I found that no matter how much we washed, what kind of shower gel we used or how good our deodorants were, we still had smelly armpits.
The advice on MN was to use a proper old fashioned bar of soap like Shield or Coal Tar with a rough flannel or puff.
Problem 100% solved.

People are either drains or radiators

That you can pay cheques in using the HSBC app

Need to come back to this later.

@OooPourUsACupLove you can?!

I've learnt lots on here but the best advice was on how to get an EHCP for my daughter. Mumsnet got me through two tribunals!

I also got great advice when I was having an absolute meltdown as a pregnant, beginner teacher.

Different kids need different parenting
And
Love the child you have
Kept me just about sane in some tricky teen years with my middle one.
I realised that I saw myself as a "good parent" cos dc1 had seemed easy. I had also labelled mentally dc2 as "difficult"
The moment I realised that she needed different parenting it got a tiny bit easier ( I still aged 10 years in 3!)

All of the FWR stuff, every bit of it, brava brave mumsnetters!!

How to deal with my DM with possible personality disorder

Got me through a really sad 'breakup' with a very good friend

Don't put it down, put it away

That DH doesn't 'help' with household stuff, it's both of ours to do

That all clothing is communication.

Countless other things!

What does this mean? I can’t work it out (a dropped knife has no handle)

Something to do with not grabbing a knife as it’s falling? I don’t understand 😂

Lots already mentioned.... but also...

Weaponised incompetence

That looking good for your age one day then rapidly ageing overnight is perfectly normal.

How do you weaponise incompetence?

Yes yes! We have one of these - game changer on horrid itchy burning bites.

Known as the “burn-y bite zapper thing” in our house!

By really committing to your incompetence. It's not enough to do the laundry badly once, you do it badly every time. You shrink favourite jumpers, leave a pen in with favourite dresses. Eventually the other person stops asking you 'to help' because it's more work trying to repair the job you didn't really do first time around. And lo you never need to do that job again.

You make yourself so incompetent that you force everyone around pick up your load

Oh, I can't cook you'll have to'
I can't choose good gifts you'll have to shop for Christmas
I did shop for the week, I bought three wham bars and an avocado you can't rely on me don't ask again

Deliberately doing things in a way you know the person you live with hates. Deliberately making mistakes. Etc. So that someone else (usually the wife) stops asking you to pull your weight because it is easier to do it themselves.

Usually done by men who are highly capable at work. Often done to get out of doing their share of joint household labour.

This one definitely. We've done this with BIL and SIL and realised we wouldn't have even seen them over the past few years (apart from kids parties prob) if we hadn't always initiated things. It gets tiring always being the ones making the effort.

Place marking

The 2.3.4 approach to naps for DD as my brain couldn't work with 'oh DD will tell you when she needs to sleep look out for her sleep cues'

the first nap is about two hours after waking, the second nap is three hours after the end of the first nap, and bedtime is four hours after the end of the second nap

Mine to share:
Vinegar for wasp stings (VW)
Bicarb for bee stings (BB)

Definitely going to try and adopt the drop the rope

Yes, I think it means don't try to catch a falling knife....just let it fall and get out of the way for safety reasons.