What’s the best bit of advice you’ve ever received on MN?

[DressingAsMyFavouriteQualityStreet]

For me, there are loads, but there is one thing that is really working out for me.

On one of my many distraught threads about 2 toxic women I have to deal with in my DH’s family, I was told to “drop the rope” and “do nothing”.

I’ve been doing this for 3 years now, and it has transformed my MH and life around these people. It’s still a DH problem, yes. I just “do nothing”. When they texted me, I just diverted them to DH. I left him to arrange all meet ups, communication, remembering birthdays, everything. Turns out, it doesn’t get done if I’m not doing it. I grey rocked, dropped the rope, did nothing, and am still doing nothing, and I am now seeing them once a year where I smile and say nothing and grey rock it. It’s absolute bliss.

So, who’d have thought that doing nothing could change so much? Its amazing.

What’s the best advice you’ve ever got on MN and how has it helped you?

Mine was about my Will and trying to adjust an imbalance in my children’s life. The unspoken message this might have sent had not occurred to me. Also the less fortunate child did get more money in later life that one MNetters predicted might happen.

LTB!

I did, and life is so much better in every way, thank you MN.

Go to a mortgage broker, wouldn't be in this lovely house now if we hadn't!

Important message.
Do not follow this advice when visiting a friend.
😉😁😁.

On payday pay yourself before anyone else. ie put money into your savings account straight away.

I've saved a lot of money on my weekly shop as switched to own brands recommended on here. Tesco non bio is £3 odd and just as good as Persil. Aldi dishwasher tablets, cola things like that.

Got rid of Sky and use Netflix etc saved a fortune.

The money boards are so helpful.

Mumsnet is always a life saver for me when it comes to doing the weekly shop. So many recipes, snack ideas especially at Christmas.

The one I found even more useful than that already useful bit of advice was to do something to improve the room before you leave it. Sometimes it is taking the mug back to the kitchen but sometimes it's putting the throw on the back of the sofa, filling the sugar bowl etc.
I don't always remember to follow it but when I do I love the idea that I'm leaving a trail of small improvements behind me.

Ooh can you share the thread or let me know the details? Self employed here and really been pension help!

Mine was 16 years ago...

No need to sterilise baby bottles. Also how to make formula with boiling water and cooled boiling water so it's the right temperature.

Pray tell??

I have had a look but can't find the thread sorry! The advice I received was not to be scared or think investing isn't for me (a part time working mum on a very average wage.)

Vanguard is meant to be a good place to look. Personally I set up a Stocks and Shares ISA with Nutmeg. Extremely easy to do and like a PP said I "pay myself first" so after each payday I have a direct debit set up to go to my Nutmeg ISA and I leave it alone other than taking an occasional look to see how it's doing. They make it very simple and can choose a plan based on the risk level you're comfortable with.

I believe they also do pensions, I have a workplace pension so I wanted the Stocks and Shares ISA to supplement that but with the ability to withdraw it if I really needed it.

The money board on here is full of very helpful posters and some good advice. I'm very grateful for it.

as well as never leave the room empty handed, another poster added about not going up or down stairs without taking something with you.

See also "Don't put it down, put it away"!

In my case;

Grey Rock - These 2 very insecure women treated me like a massive threat and picked up on any small thing I wore, said or did. Now when I see them I make myself as dull as possible. I don’t get dressed up when I am around them, I make no effort, I don’t talk, don’t engage, and don’t join in. I just act really dull, boring and uninteresting. I have no opinion on anything. I thought I’d be compromising myself, be putting myself down, but I’m not. I’m not wasting any of ME on them. I save my best self for others who enhance my life. I act like a grey rock.

Drop the rope - I don’t do anything for them. I used to do thoughtful things and include them for the sake of my DC but now I don’t. I don’t invite, do cards, presents, I don’t cook, I don’t organise anything at all WRT them. They are not my problem. It was like a tug of war back and forth and I just dropped the rope and walked away.

You need 2 people for an argument, and it can’t happen if one doesn’t engage.

For the preservation of energy in the newborn baby days: Never stand if you can sit, never sit if you can lie down, never just lie down if you can sleep.

Things have moved on! Get yourself a Beurer bite zapper. You can take it with you wherever you go, no more accidental scalding either. If you thought the spoon trick was good, this is next level.

www.beurer.com/uk/c/medical/insect-bite-healer/

I'll be doing this now, thanks

The phrase 'I'm afraid that won't be possible.'

To match your energy to other people's. So, if you are always the one reaching out to a certain friend, and they rarely bother with you, just stop. It has transformed how I interact with friends and acquaintances, and I feel so much better for it. I've struggled with friendships my whole life but this advice really stood out to me.

what if you have debts?!

Still save a little if you can. I transfer an amount every pay day, I know what my bills are and what I need for food etc - whatever is left after those sums goes into a separate account. If I leave it in my general account I end up spending it without thinking, if there’s something I need to buy I can transfer the money back but won’t pull money back for any old tat.

Even with debt it’s good to have a small emergency fund, which then helps not get into further debt for unexpected essentials. Of course that all depends on your income exceeding outgoings which I know isn’t the case for too many people.

Not so much advice but an anecdote of a poster going camping for the first time and waking up with slugs on her face.

I've never been camping and never will.