What’s the best bit of advice you’ve ever received on MN?

[DressingAsMyFavouriteQualityStreet]

For me, there are loads, but there is one thing that is really working out for me.

On one of my many distraught threads about 2 toxic women I have to deal with in my DH’s family, I was told to “drop the rope” and “do nothing”.

I’ve been doing this for 3 years now, and it has transformed my MH and life around these people. It’s still a DH problem, yes. I just “do nothing”. When they texted me, I just diverted them to DH. I left him to arrange all meet ups, communication, remembering birthdays, everything. Turns out, it doesn’t get done if I’m not doing it. I grey rocked, dropped the rope, did nothing, and am still doing nothing, and I am now seeing them once a year where I smile and say nothing and grey rock it. It’s absolute bliss.

So, who’d have thought that doing nothing could change so much? Its amazing.

What’s the best advice you’ve ever got on MN and how has it helped you?

It’s an invite not a summons.
no longer go to things I don’t want to and don’t feel bad anymore saying no

Total game changer for me.

I'm up for parole next week.

(Ba-dum tish 🥁)

So many that have already been mentioned and “That doesn't work for me.”

On a (very slightly) more serious note, I first came across the mnemonic 'righty tighty, lefty loosey' on Mumsnet. I'm grateful each time I turn off a hosepipe or take apart furniture without stripping all the screws!

Great thread

Ten years ago, when I said I couldn't afford to pay into a pension (I'm self-employed), someone firmly pointed out that I couldn't afford not to.

It's doing very nicely now from the initial scraped-up beginnings.

Loads of make up and skincare advice on the S&B Boards, especially about Korean skincare that I'd never heard about before.

I learnt I was in a controlling and abusive relationship - I was so far in, working FT with 2 young DC I couldn't see the wood for the trees.

Grey rock technique - its brilliant and life changing

You don't have to argue - basic but amazing to hear, and it is very easy to implement.

All of the above lessons boosted my self esteem incredibly.

Also the difference between "sex & gender" back around 2014/2015 from the incredible feminists on the FWR board.

I learnt this from a midwife many years ago

Mumsnet helped me escape 23 years of abuse.

Yes, the wonderful women on the FWR board. I have learnt so much.

I learnt about F&B "Peignoir" and I painted my bedroom this colour and it is PERFECT and I adore it.

The concept of the 5-minute room rescue. I have ADHD and used to be absolutely overwhelmed by tidying. I just didn;t know how to do it. My mum was even worse - I grew up in a very chaotic home so just had no clue. But I found Flylady on here and started with that 5 minute room rescue - set a timer for 5 minutes and tidy the biggest eyesores in the room. it is so easy and taught me that most rooms can be tidied in 5 mins, especially if you do this every day.

now I love tidying and doing 10 minute cleaning sessions It just makes housework so easy and manageable. I never feel daunted by it now.

Yes that saved my holiday last year, I was eaten alive and itchy all over, the hot spoon was pure bliss.

A variation on When Someone Shows You Who They Are Believe Them The First Time

It was a woman whose DH had a very close friend and this friend was frequently horrible about or to others. One day he turned on her DH.

It was along the lines of Oh? You know someone who is frequently awful to others
but you're great mates? Yeah, One day it will be you.

It had already happened to me but I thought it was great advice.

A shame this thread has been pockmarked by deletions, it's a good thread

I have dropped the rope on someone it's terrific

What was in the deletes?

What executive dysfunction is. I found out I have ASD from a thread here. I don't have many of the stereotypical symptoms of ASD but I create chaos in my living areas and always have done. Now I know why.

I read the thread, took photos of my kitchen and bedroom and showed them to my GP. I was being assessed within the month and diagnosed with ASD and dyspraxia after 10 weeks. Amazing discovery - I've been hating myself for years but I was quite wrong. Thank you Mumsnet!

From when they were young:

1. Make sure everyone is dressed before breakfast- they will dress themselves if they are hungry
2. Don't put the school sweatshirt on until they have done their teeth.
3. Serve a raw vegetable starter when they are hungry before dinner- always eaten.
4. My gift back if they say they don't like it /arent hungrey/ won't it eat tell them they don't have to but they do need to sit at the table with it in front of them 9/10 it gets eaten.

To use Seche Vite top coat. That's definitely the best thing I've learned from MN.

But that's just clockwise and anti-clockwise!

That makes feelings matter too and I can say no to things without any good reason.

Ah there speaks someone who doesn't get confused. Lots of people do, and this helps.

Don't be sneery. Righty tighty tells you you are fastening it, making it closed etc. clockwise and anti doesn't tell you that.

I posted under a different username when I was up to my eyeballs in the most horrific relationship and I was so scared and frozen that I couldn't see what was happening. I re read the thread sometimes and it makes me so sad. My posts on it have been submitted as part of the evidence for his upcoming trial for domestic abuse offences against me.

A few posters were amazing and so kind. One said 'Your life is at risk. I'm actually scared for you.' And it was a light switch.