DH and DS think I "don't cook"

[BrokenOven]

In two separate conversions over the last few days, DS and then DH independently claimed that I "don't cook."

I don't exactly recall the conversation with DS. But DH and I were discussing whether to replace or repair our broken oven, and he claimed we don't need a new oven "because it's not like you cook, anyway."

I do cook. For them. Every day.

When I pointed this out, he hemmed and hawed a bit and then said, "Well, you don't need a fancy new oven, because you don't bake things like nice cakes or a souffle."

No, I don't have time for that. But I do cook supper for them every day and lunches on the weekend.

Just a moan, really.

No, it really does forget to add the flour! It's in the ingredients, gets mixed with salt and sugar, and then forgotten about.
I was going to pass the recipe to DS as he loves the air fryer so was checking it was idiot-proof. It isn't!

@BaronessBomburst fair enough- I will have a bash with it and let you know- I am guessing you could cook them in muffin cases if you wanted it to be easy

There's a joke about that.

Man sits on the sofa flicking the channel between porn and golf, eventually his wife loses her rag and says "FFS John, leave it on the porn, you know how to play golf!"

You're not factoring in the mental load, prepping etc that still goes into freezer tea. Someone still has to think about it and execute it, and in this case it sure as shit isn't the husband.
Oh but thanks for the patronising little lecture on what cooking is and what's good for you.

In that case Malicious Compliance. Cook whatever you planned for DS and you. And soufflé every meal for DH, including the days he eats solo

I was about to say this too only you said it better.

There is no justifying the freezer tea as a staple diet. I won’t patronise you by explaining why.

Mental load? You mean deciding what to eat once a week and shopping for it? Same same whether you’re deciding on freezer food or home cooked dinners.

Yep, she's the one who's landed you with such a useless shit!😡

It still requires effort on the part of the person prepping it, no matter what limb you go out on!

I would never have guessed that cooking using raw ingredients is healthier. Who knew?!

I don’t think the intended snottiness really comes off when calling it freezer tea.
I won’t patronise you by explaining why. 😗

No, quite right, you've already been patronising and condescending enough.

Yes, that is what I mean by mental load (although, depending on how the OP runs her house/life, she may not do the food shopping/planning once a week). It is mental load that the husband doesn't share, even though they both spend similar amounts of time at work. He was asked to make sandwiches once every four weeks, which means a competent adult, with himself, his wife and his child to feed, had to be asked to provide food for them rather than leave it all to his wife. Mental load is a real thing, and I will defend people (women, usually, let's face it) who are left to shoulder it alone.

And I'm not trying to make a distinction between the mental load of deciding between freezer food or 'home-cooked dinners' (by which I presume you mean 'freshly cooked' as the OP's freezer and oven are at her home), so I don't know what point you think you're making there.

So said "freezer food" is just placed in said freezer by the freezer fairies without any thought or planning at all?

News to me. Your posts are already patronising enough without expanding them!

On the soufflé question - no, no, maybe once?, and possibly if I get the time to be faffy again.

It sounds though, having already reconditioned a not great oven, that you need a decent one to replace it. Not the bells and whistles type, but YOU are the one using it, HE doesn't even bother to make a toasted sambo once a month, so yes, it is absolutely a reasonable HOUSEHOLD expense.

I would call someone out to give you a quote to repair the oven. No need for further discussion with DH. If the quote is high and isn't much less than a new one just order one.
Stop cooking for him.
You can't not cook for the 11 year but I'd have words with him about it and explain that him saying you don't cook is not true and that he shouldn't say it again because it wasn't true.

And then see what happens.

As for the souffle thing - I cooked one years and years ago as a teenager and it was a disaster.

Freezer tea can be oven chips and fish fingers.

Or it can be HM lasagna made at the same time as you made one for the cooking day and put the 2nd one in the freezer.

Or reheating frozen batches of HM curries.

Or taking out a freezer bag of chicken legs/thighs that you threw some marinade on as you froze, and cooked in the oven on a bed of roasted veggies (that can also have been pre-prepared and frozen in a different bag).

Or leftover roast meat frozen in leftover gravy, reheated in the oven in a foil covered dish with some freshly roasted diced or baby potatoes alongside.

All of those are "freezer tea" in our house, and most of those do not constitute a health hazard. (In fact, in moderation, none of them do because food is a necessity and you need a variety of foods, even fats, to survive and thrive).

I agree. We have freezer dinners several times a week.

Mostly either stuff I have made in the past and frozen (double portions of chilli, pasta sauce, casserole, stew etc) or frozen chicken portions with salad or veg on the side. The other days I do "proper" cooking (whatever the hell that is) and again make double and freeze.

And yes about once a week we have iceland tapas, whereby a couple of bags of frozen chicken dippers, fish fingers or whatever we have, are bunged through the airfryer and eaten buffet style. Why? Because I work, I am a carer, I am a single parent and I get tired. And sometimes I simply cannot be bothered. DD had some quiche I made on Monday for her dinner last night with salad and potatoes. There wasnt enough for both of us so in the end I had a cheese sandwich as I CBA to do anything else. Neither of us is overweight, neither is unhealthy and we do just fine.

As for "I wont patronise you" I think that ship sailed on her first post!

Honestly OP,you should be producing MasterChef type dishes on a daily basis! Bloody hell. Seriously though,what century is your DH living in?! Souffles?! Who makes souffles nowadays? Unfortunately,some people think that unless you have slaved over a meal from scratch for hours,it doesn't count as cooking. I would stop cooking them ANYTHING as from today and see how they like it.

I have never made a souffle in my life, and at 51 I have no intention of doing it now!

I remember my mother in the 70's bemoaning the fact that any dinner party at all seemed to require a souffle, but to my knowledge she has never made one either (she is 74).

Tell him that you think he needs to see that doctor as there is something wrong with his head.

Thats is, its stuck up his arse.

I have scallops in my freezer, with brandy and white truffle.
from LIDL

We had cheese soufflé , salad and baked potatoes most Mondays when I was a child. I love cheese soufflé and it's very easy to make.
Alas DH is dairy free. I have occasionally made a dairy free spinach or watercress soufflé and he liked it but it's really not that nice without added cheese. So I don't make soufflés any more. I do choose them if they are on the menu when eating out.
It's really not difficult.
Which doesn't mean that you aren't cooking proper meals OP.
If your DH wants soufflés he should learn to make them.

Exactly. OP is a poor excuse of a woman

@BrokenOven Many years ago, my father pulled a similar stunt with my mother, an excellent cook, who had done time in service and could whip up a meal for 10 out of her larder... I have watched her do that when family arrived in the pre-mobile days.

He was a grumpy sod and one day complained about her cooking and said he would be happy with some mashed potatoes and poached eggs, so that is what he got for a week until he got a touch egg bound and asked for normal service to be resumed for him...The rest of the family enjoyed fabulous food from my mum, whose Yorkshire puds were legend!

I think you forgot to read the second para.

@StormingNorman

not everyone wants to spend loads of time meal planning, food shopping, cooking, cleaning up you know! And that is absolutely fine!

I didn’t realise eating high levels of UPF and sugar on the daily was an acceptable alternative. I don’t want to spend loads of time shopping, cooking and cleaning either but it’s the price of eating healthy meals.