Frustrations with school - wwyd?

[whyschoolwhy]

My son goes to a school that teaches from reception to sixth form. It is rated outstanding and is known for having excellent results and instilling good behaviours from day one. DS is happy there and the teachers have done wonders with helping him settle in.

However, my gripe with the school is that they do little to nothing in the way of parental inclusion. In reception there was a nativity play, and we get to go and watch sports day each year, but that's been pretty much it in terms of opportunities for parents to see what their children are doing. At the end of each school year they do an excursion and ask for parent volunteers, but only accept around 6. And in year one my son happened to join a dance club so I was able to go and watch him do a short performance with them. Otherwise, nothing. We don't get invited to assemblies or to do any activities with the children.

I don't want to be a pain in the arse for them - I know teachers are under a lot of stress these days and have to do all sorts of paperwork and reports and other work besides teaching. But I can't help but feel they could do something? Let us join an assembly once a term? Run a Christmas craft event for parents and children? Sing some carols for us? I just feel there's such a short time that they're little and parents get the opportunity to see them in the school setting, and it bothers me that I'm missing out on these things.

I'm not really sure what to do though. I don't want to be kicking up a stink and don't know that it would achieve much anyway. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[post edited by MNHQ for privacy reasons]

If that's your only issue with the school, I think you need to let it go. The key thing is that your son is happy there.

That sounds like a normal amount of parent involvement to me. The teachers are not there to run a Christmas craft session for you. If you want to see your child in a school setting why don’t you volunteer to read with kids?

Sounds fine to me

Maybe they have previously had poor attendance from parents due to working/no time off

Join the governing council and bring it up there.

I don't imagine they'd pair me with my son for that?

Then bring the issue to someone who was.

Crikey, the school is there to educate children now entertain parents. Why do you need to see them more in the school setting?!

Offer to volunteer hearing readers if you want to do more.

Well this is it - it's not a big enough issue to consider doing anything drastic like move him. It's just frustrating, and I know lots of the other parents feel the same way. Someone else has said it's normal but I don't think it is, certainly not around here.

Your child is at the school not you, this seems normal

Yes I realise they're there to educate the children but I do not believe that it's standard to not give parents the opportunity to engage with school life.

If it sounds normal then I guess that's a good thing. Is this your experience?

I assume this is a prep to senior independent school. I think most schools do a Christmas production and maybe an open evening. Most parent events are organised through parents’ association. I went to a couple of parent assemblies in YR, then it tailed off. There might be harvest or a summer concert. As they get older you might watch sports events every week and wish you didn’t!

They might want parent volunteers but prep schools tend not to have many. Many tend to pay to outsource. I’ve never been into school for a craft event. I’ve been in loads to raise money. In secondary I saw DDs dance, sing, play instruments, join them in house supper and numerous inter house competitions as well as chapel and events outside school. Secondary was busier.

Nativity, sports day, parents evening and maybe helping on the odd trip sounds completely normal engagement. I say that as someone who went to school here, had several children go through the system and a few decades of teaching.

Get involved with the PTA. That's a legitimate way of getting the level of input you're seeking

I understand what you are saying. My DC is in reception, they have had a Halloween stay and play and they have a Christmas stay and play and nativity coming up. I know they also do something for mothers & Father’s Day, an end of year show and sports day.

Each year does a show at Christmas and different activities throughout the year that parents can come and watch.

It’s just a primary school though (no high school/ sixth form) but even so they should have the same ratio of staff. I wouldn’t expect to be coming into school once they are in high school but it’s nice whilst they are in primary.

@Shinyandnew1 but the nativity was once, in reception. They don't do it again in primary.

Anyway perhaps this is more normal than I realised. All of the friends I have spoken to have had far more opportunities to get involved. But if that's not representative across the UK then it makes me feel better about the situation.

Yes this is the sort of thing I mean. And I also thought the same about staff/student ratios.

Thanks for the advice.

If none of the other year groups in primary school have a nativity play or carol service, that might be more unusual. My DC's primary school had a nativity play or carol service every year to which parents were invited.

I’m guessing this is a private school and if yes I can see why you would want more

My DC do a Christmas show and end of year show. There is a sports day. Three times a year, that seems reasonable.

Kids who are in choir/dance/drama/orchestra etc have other stuff that parents can go to, but that's extra-curricular.

It's not a private school, no.

They do a play every other year but only in reception do they do a Christmas one.

Does the school have a PTA? At my DCs' primary school, that was the obvious route available for parents who wanted to be more involved in school life.