Frustrations with school - wwyd?

[whyschoolwhy]

My son goes to a school that teaches from reception to sixth form. It is rated outstanding and is known for having excellent results and instilling good behaviours from day one. DS is happy there and the teachers have done wonders with helping him settle in.

However, my gripe with the school is that they do little to nothing in the way of parental inclusion. In reception there was a nativity play, and we get to go and watch sports day each year, but that's been pretty much it in terms of opportunities for parents to see what their children are doing. At the end of each school year they do an excursion and ask for parent volunteers, but only accept around 6. And in year one my son happened to join a dance club so I was able to go and watch him do a short performance with them. Otherwise, nothing. We don't get invited to assemblies or to do any activities with the children.

I don't want to be a pain in the arse for them - I know teachers are under a lot of stress these days and have to do all sorts of paperwork and reports and other work besides teaching. But I can't help but feel they could do something? Let us join an assembly once a term? Run a Christmas craft event for parents and children? Sing some carols for us? I just feel there's such a short time that they're little and parents get the opportunity to see them in the school setting, and it bothers me that I'm missing out on these things.

I'm not really sure what to do though. I don't want to be kicking up a stink and don't know that it would achieve much anyway. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[post edited by MNHQ for privacy reasons]

Of course I read with my son at home. That's beside the point.

I may be mistaken but I don't think I've seen any poster yet say that they have as few events as we do at our school, and who disagrees with my point. I'm sure most of you suggesting I'm being overly demanding have/had at least one school performance each year to attend.

Definitely join the PTA - I'm Chair of ours & we organise & run the Halloween party & that's great to see the kids enjoying themselves.
You could also see if the school would like the PTA to organise more events out of school - it's likely the current PTA are working within their means so can't do more events like the ones you mention without more volunteers.

I’d say your DCs school is pretty normal. Why do you want to get so involved anyway?

This

I don't think it's normal at all. I'm a retired teacher, and most state primaries will at the very least have a Christmas performance every year, and most will hold other events so there's something at least once a term. And yes, assemblies that parents can attend are pretty usual, or at least they still were when I retired relatively recently.

It seems as though they're running the whole school as a secondary school. So it's possibly the downside of an all age school.

🤔 why do I want to see my son doing fun things like Christmas plays at school?

You are right. Your school is at the minimal end of events. Some posts are OTT and working parents would feel left out. I’m amazed there’s nothing at Christmas. Or an end of year concert.

This thread demonstrates that schools and teachers can't win.
Put on things for the parents to see, and you get working parents complaining, and further up even a SAHM is complaining
My DC primary have lots going on that parents attend, it's a ball ache & im a SAHM.

Don't arrange parent involvement events, and parents feel left out and have no vision of what happens within school.

It does seem unusually low. My DD’s primary has about 250 pupils and we have events run by the school (Nativity play, summer music performance, a yearly open evening where parents can visit the classrooms, sports day ), plus events run by the PTA (Christmas Fair, Summer Fair, Halloween Disco). Parents can come to assemblies if your child gets an award, and there are some events where parents are invited into join a lesson to see how it’s taught (once or twice a year). It is nice to find out more about the school and feel part of the community - the head is very keen on this.

A friend’s daughter goes to a combined school like yours (state school from reception to Sixth Form, though the site has separate buildings for primary and secondary), and they have a similar sounding amount of events to my DD’s school, so I wouldn’t say it’s because of the school set-up.

Just as an aside, I’ve just realised I do have a through state school in my nearest town. It’s 2-19. Their diary has nothing for December. Has drop in events for parents in Jan/Feb and has had an open classroom evening. Nothing for July leavers either. I’m going to keep looking on the diary page to see if it’s updated but they have sports days in for June. I would be disappointed with this too. It seems to be sport or nothing.

So our school has two parent consultations a year (one in the autumn term, one in the spring term); a nativity or play for KS1 (KS2 children form the choir but parents can only attend if they have children in KS1); Sports Day; KS2 play at the end of the summer term.
The PTA put on a Halloween party but only PTA members or parent volunteers attend this.
We are holding a carol concert this year instead of a nativity which all parents can attend.
The local private school hold a singing concert in the spring term which local primaries attend - parents can go to the final performance.
We attend various inter-school sporting events which parents can attend.
That's all I can think of.

The only extras we get are harvest festival and Easter but my children attend a religious school.
2 x parents evening as well around October and may. The occasional meeting re SATS but that's yr 2&6 and I believe the year 2 ones have been scrapped now anyway.
I think what you've said is normal OP.
What about PTFA? Although my experience of these is they're extra curricular or fund raising.

I worked in a primary school. Reception and infants did a nativity every year. Years 3 and 4 did an Easter performance and years 5 and 6 did an end of school year performance. There was a Christmas market where parents were invited in to help make things to sell and then invited to the market and a summer fayre, sport's day and special assemblies. So it isn't all schools. Maybe DC's school has a high percentage of parents who can't attend so they think it's not worth it.

@TaterTots68 that's an interesting point but on the other hand they set a lot of weekly homework and make it clear they expect parental involvement. The children couldn't do the homework without the parents' help.

The regime you describe sounds normal for a good and successful school. Schools with problems tend to get parents into assembly etc because they want to get them on-side. That you see the Nativity play etc. is fine. Your son is happy and doing well, which is all that matters. Let it go.

It’s certainly my experience. We had an annual nativity or school concert plus summer sports day. I occasionally parent helped on trips. My two were at different primaries and we were never invited to assemblies.

I'd have been a dead loss with such a school. I listened to reading always, and filled in a family history questionnaire once - that was about it. As a former teacher, I strongly deprecate homework that requires input from a parent - not all parents can give the same help - or any form of technology/library visits etc. That is supposed to be done by the school so that every child gets the same input (equality of opportunity). Homework should be something that does not require either a parent, access to technology, the web, or anything outside the actual homework and it should consolidate what was done in school that day.

Yes, I agree. No child should be disadvantaged because parents are working long hours or can’t be bothered or can’t afford WiFi.

If I was Sec of State for Education I would take action on this and on wholly unnecessary expensive uniform.

@Maray1967 sorry to be a pedant but that's not the same. My main point is we don't get an annual concert or play. If we did I'd be happy with that.

I agree. Apparently sometimes the children have to stay in at break to do the homework if they haven't done it at home. Not sure whether that starts in year 2 or 3.

Mine has had more parent stuff than this just in the first term of reception tbh.

Be happy that your child is settled and in a good school. Support him with his reading and homework requirements. If there are fund raisers, support these. Then get on with living your life while your son enjoys his learning and the teachers get on with their job of teaching.

I've never seen parents at assemblies in any of the schools at which I've taught. I don't know about Reception but I volunteered at an Infant school before I did my teacher training and they certainly didn't attend there.

@Wibblywobblyses Teaching at primary level has long included giving dc confidence by performing in front of an audience. Either music, sport or drama and dance. Something! Teaching at primary is broader than reading, writing and rithmatic! Thank God most schools realise this and take it seriously. Learning is enhanced by confidence and so is life.

Well it seems the school is doing a good job. If it’s combined with positive parenting then it’s a win-win.