Should I have assumed he has turned it off?

[ThisBrownieIsRubbish]

Dh has been mithering about not turning the heating on, and finally cracked yesterday and put it on as he had been working from home and was cold.
So this morning I am home, take him to work, kids to school. I am freezing, but assume I am just cold as I am in and out of the heated car. Take dd to appointment, do shopping. At 4pm wonder why I am still cold. Dh has turned the heating off!!
I ask why. He says that we were in bed and toasty. Yes, that was last night. I said he should have said something considering he knows I was home today. If he was cold yesterday then I would be today? He said he forgot as was getting busy for work - in the snow, should have though oh it's cold, I turned the heating off!? - and assumed I would check it - why would I if he told me he had turned it on?

Am I overthinking this? I accept I may be being ridiculous but i am cold! (Now out at DD sport in the cold!)

This is such a non issue it’s ridiculous

Depends on your heating system really. We always have it down/off at night and anyone can turn it on if cold.
I'd assume an adult is able to control the heating in their own home if they are cold.

You are overthinking. If you've been cold all day, why didn't you just feel a radiator or something to see if it was on?

Isn't your heating on a thermostat? Mine comes on automatically if it drops below a pre-set temperature and sometimes if I am cold even though it is not cold enough for the heating to switch on, I use the boost, which switches it on for an hour. Maybe your Husband did that?

You are overthinking it this exact argument is happening in homes up and down the country right now. Men don't feel the cold like women do

Are you able to turn the heating on or does your DH have sole control?

You're massively overthinking this but he's not wrong. If you spent all day being cold why on earth wouldn't you check the radiators or heating at some point?

Is turning the heating on/off really difficult in your home or something ? I live with young adult kids and we turn the heating on/off as we need. We don’t assume that others will want it on/off because we all adjust things as we prefer.

I would say if you’re not cold enough to check it probably didn’t need to be on anyway.

I'm pretty sure most people would've touched a radiator, to make sure it was on if they were that cold 🤷‍♂️

We turn ours on/off as we need it, so I wouldn't assume because I'm cold today, my DH might be cold tomorrow and we never have it on at night.

What? We turn it off overnight every night (with a minimum temp of 16.5), you're capable of touching a radiator and turning it on no?

Surely it is an easy thing to check for yourself? If I am cold, I look to see if the heating is on, and turn it on if required. It isn't rocket science.

That opening post is just noise.

I’m cold I turn it on, partner is cold he turns it on. Children cold - they ask

Ok.
it is a non issue. I accept that. It's just he has been annoying about the heating for ages. I get up in the cold, my clothes are so cold they feel damp in the morning - I get up before everyone else. He says the kids haven't mentioned it so didn't want to turn it on. Even the night before he had said he would rather go into work on his way days rather than turn it on as he was so tight (his words) yet he can turn it on when he is home but off when I am.
Of course, this seems silly but, as always there is a massive backstory. So. (Which I am not going into)
Was just gaining reactions. As I said at the start, I am happy to be told I am over reacting!

Why didnt you feel the radiator when you realised you were cold ?

We always turn our heating off at night, its up to the person who is next cold to turn it back on

I don't understand why you can't turn it on yourself when you're cold

you don't know how to work the heating in the house you live in ?

If I felt cold I'd just check if it was on or off... I wouldn't expect to be told.

If you can then I'd agree times you can set it to come on for and then just boost it as you need to.

Like I said, I was in and out of a heated car so assumed it was that. When I was finally in, I did check and saw it was off.

I don’t think we can comment without the “massive backstory”.

If this is his only fault and can be put down to absent-mindedness, YABU.

If he padlocks the heating control, doesn’t allow you access to money, and is otherwise controlling, that’s a whole another story.

I mean clearly over reacting and everyone else has covered that.

You're an adult with just as much agency as him - he doesn't get to unilaterally decide on heating. Have it on when you want!

I wasn't to turn it on before he said, no. I had mentioned my clothes previously and it still wasn't to be turned on. Apparently it wasn't an issue with his clothes on the other side of the room away from the window

He isn’t God Of Thermostats, OP. You cant turn your heating on when you like.

You're not a child who needs permission. You don't need his approval to turn it on, so if you're cold and contributing to the bills you can use it as you see fit.

The issue is that you don't have an equal say in household expenditure. Does this extend beyond the gas & electric bill?