What's the most ridiculous thing you've even been accused of?

[NavyPombear]

Just that really, Something so obviously nonsense that you couldn't believe anyone would take it seriously.

For me without doubt, it was when my parents thought I'd robbed a bank.
I was 17 and at school at the time of the robbery......

To this day I'm not entirely convinced they believe I wasn't involved 🙄

A colleague and I had been out and about on a field visit. We'd supposedly been seen holding hands. Everyone was trying to get us to confirm our relationship. They were saying it was fine, work relationships were permitted. There's no need to hide it etc.

It didn't happen and we were both upset by this. We spoke privately trying to figure out what we'd done that could have been misinterpreted.

We were both in long term relationships that our colleagues were aware of. It was awful. I think rumours like this are never fully stamped out. I was surprised at the level of support we had for our 'affair', considering we were 'cheating' on our partners.

I was accused of having no idea how to design the layout of an Aldi supermarket.

I don't design supermarket layouts and I don't work for Aldi.

I was doing my shopping when a very angry woman started shouting at me that she couldn't find the tinned soups so I pointed them out to her.

By way of thanks, she accused me of not knowing how to design the layout of my Aldi store and stormed off, still complaining.

I was bullied by the manager at my first job. I was only 16.

I'd booked a days leave and spent it with my friend. I still lived with my parents and when I got back they said, 'you should have been at work today'. I said 'no I shouldn't, it was annual leave'.

My boss had phoned to find out where I was. My parents unbelievably, went to my work and had an extremely inappropriate discussion with my manager about the day off and my performance! My parents used every bullet she gave them against me. They wouldn't accept she was the problem and not me.

Back at work the nasty bitch admitted she'd made a mistake. She'd found my authorised (by her) holiday request. Apparently I should just forget this little episode and move on. What? Talking to my parents like you're my teacher? I was done at this point. I stood up, got my coat and left.

Some time later I heard she did the same to my replacement, who also resigned. She went to work for a rival company and did it again to the trainee. This company took it seriously. She was invited to resign with a reference or be sacked without one. 20yr career pissed up the wall. Serves her right.

Finally relieved and vindicated I told my parents. I expected an apology or at least an acknowledgement that they were wrong.........crickets. I tried a few times but they would just stare blankly in power save mode and re-engage when I changed the subject.

Mud sticks Mumsnetters

Accused of writing letters in order to split up a couple at school. When I told my HoY, she said she wasn't going to do anything because the female involved is having issues at home

Oh wait, this was the same HoY who laughed when I mentioned sexual harassment

Mother put my ‘O’ level results in the bin and told everyone I’d not got any. I got A and B in ten subjects including Latin! We have been NC for years.

Ex DH accused me of trying to seduce people by lying in provocative positions on the coffee table. This accusation apart from being not true and really very unlike me, was pulled out of the blue 23 years later!

It sounds like it richly served him right tbh - but I'm sorry you had to go through all of that. It must have been awful.

PP's father sounds like a grade a bellend, that said, paedophilia is one of the worst things to be accused of and I'm not sure anyone should have that said about them if it isn't true even if they're an arsehole. If he actually had done something like that, then fair play, but it does sound a bit like a misunderstanding, rather like that case in the 80s (Hebrides CSA scandal) where a child made a flippant comment that was misconstrued. I do have sympathy for the rest of what that poster endured though!

Oh I've thought of another one. When I was giving birth to DD I had an absolute bitch of a midwife and a trainee. I had massive tearing and was in agony, I could see all the bits hanging down when I looked in the full length mirror. One day a different midwife was looking at my damaged bits and told me sternly that I shouldn't have refused to be stitched up, look at the state of me! I hadn't refused anything I wasn't even offered stitches.

accused of stealing someone's sun loungers.
We got up at sunrise to bag good loungers. We stayed on them. Man said we'd removed his towels which he put down at 3am and stolen them! Seeing as numerous beds were empty and free at 6am, why the f would we do that? He didn't believe me and we had to get the hotel staff to deal with him!

This is actually a common scenario that seems to play out in a lot in hotels all over Europe. The absolutely fuckwittery that hotel sun beds seem to arouse is almost farcical.

A friend's garden had a Laburnum tree in it. Without fail every time I returned from that friends house my mum would start shouting at me that I had better not have eaten any laburnum seeds.

I would then be stared at for the next hour in case I died.

Why would I be picking radom things off the floor and eating them?

‘Feedback’ on an essay I wrote at school went as follows: ‘If I really believed you had written this, it would be very good’. Delivered with a smirk. Needless to say, I had definitely written it without any help. Same teacher would make snide comments alleging I would be unable to read certain books as they would be ‘too hard’ for me.

That I'd murdered my dog..
I was unwell off work and when I returned people kept asking me if my dog was OK? Yes he was thanks. I thought this was odd until a nice work colleague took me to one side and told me another work colleague had told people I'd had a nervous breakdown and killed my dog! No I hadn't. I'd had a bad virus and my dog lived till he was 15. People are mental.

Some people go crazy when they have just a little bit of power. I worked in a call centre years ago and there was one manager who literally picked people at random to get sacked. I witnessed her do it to multiple people.

She tried to get me sacked because my skirt was too short (literally not a customer facing role). I found this out because I was secretly dating another manager who stood up for me and allowed me to go home and get changed.

@banannabreadforme that's really weird. Why would they think that you'd killed your own dog? Batshit.

@DaisyTheLazy It does sound though like the apple didn't fall far from the tree! Pots and kettles. Perhaps your poor father just couldn't forgive you, I'm not sure I could forgive a child who did that to me. Karma bites.

I was once accused of lying about a parrot talking to me!

We were staying with friends of exH's for the weekend, and for about 20 minutes on the Sunday morning I was alone in their dining room with their pet parrot. So, as you do when you're an animal-lover and sitting in a room on your own with a parrot in a cage, I started talking to it, and it squawked a few times, then said 'hello' back.
Later that day we and our friends were all in the room and I told them I'd had this conversation with it. Oh no. No, they were really cross and I was lying to them apparently, because the parrot had never spoken to them all the years they'd had it. They were really unpleasant about it, and exH was really annoyed with me for upsetting them.

Why on earth they would imagine I'd invent something like that I have no idea.

On MN last night.

On a thread about bullying in schools. One poster who is apparently a teacher (who was talking about parents being overly upset when their child is bullied) kept saying I accused her child of being a bully. I hadn’t. She didn’t even HAVE a child 🤣 she then asked if I agreed that parents who “gob off” and “make false accusations about teachers on Facebook” should be arrested. I said “No because slander isn’t a criminal offence”. She then said “They were actually making threats about me on that post. You don’t think threats are a criminal offence hahahahaha”. Even when I assumed she was just a bit dim and explained “No you didn’t mention threats at first” she just kept repeating “You condone violence against teachers”.

I then said I think her lack of comprehension, bizarre accusations and exaggerations make her a potential danger to children she teaches, as she could very easily twist things a child said. This was me saying she’s a child abuser, apparently. She kept saying “I can’t believe I’ve been accused of child abuse!”.

The nail in the coffin was when she said she presented some parents once with a 30 page dossier of evidence of lies these parents had told about her and had even taken them to court(!). I said I didn’t believe her TBH - she then said “Well those parents were accused of sex abuse. I can’t believe you are standing up for sex abusers! You’re a pedophile apologist!”. Fucking nutjob.

Oh and accused of shoplifting stuff from Asda in Lidl lately

I had been to little Asda then walked to nearby Lidl for some bits Asda didn’t have. I had a tote bag, and when I put my stuff on the belt (no assistant was there at the time it was late) I went to the bit where they scan your shopping and emptied my tote bag of the few bits of the Asda stuff as I had a box of cereal to put in the bag from Lidl. Miserable woman came and asked “Is that stuff to be scanned” and I said “No I bought this in another shop.” “Which shop? When?” . I said Asda and showed her that everything was Asda branded. She actually took it all and started to scan it! I was raging and complained to a manager. Why would she ever think Asda stuff was on sale in Lidl 😂

I was quite an early developer in addition to just naturally being quite busty, when I was about 12/13 someone informed me there was a rumour going around that I was on hormone tablets and that’s the reason my boobs were so big! I pointed out that I was going through puberty and had quite enough hormones without having more added in, but the people behind the rumour weren’t the brightest sparks so I’m not sure it went in.

That didn’t annoy or offend me, I was just a bit bemused but when I was about 22 in an office job, my co worker reconciled the petty cash and it was £10 out. She didn’t come right out and accuse me but kept going “well only you and I have access and I certainly haven’t taken anything” and similar things like that, not flat out saying “did you take £10” but certainly implying that I had. It really upset me! I didn’t let on that I knew what she was implying as I didn’t want to make it into a thing, plus I’m one of those people who sounds like they’re lying when telling the truth so I wasn’t convinced I’d sound innocent! I can’t remember what happened in the end but I know the £10 was ultimately accounted for and we basically both just acted like she hadn’t assumed I’d been stealing but I never forgot it.

A minor one that really upset me at about 7 - accused by an aunt of pinching a glacé cherry off a fairy cake from a birthday tea laid out in the room we weren’t supposed to go into yet.
I didn’t even like glacé cherries! I still don’t!

But she refused to believe me.

I never felt the same about that aunt after that.

I had the same thing but I was a tiny bit older
My mother would buy our Christmas presents and keep them at the bottom of her wardrobe (wrapped up)
I have 3 siblings-one is the golden child,I'm the scapegoat
I also lived semi part time with them as I mainly lived with my grandad,so i was never really around at their house but my brothers lived there full time
Someone (cough,golden child,cough) had ripped the paper enough to see what they'd got and left it
I got the blame for opening siblings presents!
Why the fuck would I do that?
If I was going to look,I'd have opened my own!
She still tells everyone I did it-40+ years on!

Still pisses me off...

What strikes me about many of these stories is that there are clearly a lot of nutters around, who we take far more seriously than they deserve.

The same thing happened to me about a different long term chronic illness I have to live with.
My family member spread her nasty rumour far and wide and I’m still shunned by some people for it.
It’s horrible.

That's why is someone tells me 'watch out for her,she's a right silly cow' or 'your not going to believe this about x' I take it with a pinch of salt

I've had too many rumours spread about me and there are too many gullible idiots who believe it