What's the most ridiculous thing you've even been accused of?

[NavyPombear]

Just that really, Something so obviously nonsense that you couldn't believe anyone would take it seriously.

For me without doubt, it was when my parents thought I'd robbed a bank.
I was 17 and at school at the time of the robbery......

To this day I'm not entirely convinced they believe I wasn't involved 🙄

I've been thinking about this thread a lot because I've been accused of all sorts of things over the years. Lying, stealing, assault, malicious gossip and more. I'm not particularly noticeable and keep myself to myself - I wonder if that makes me an easy target to point the finger at.
Anyway, the most ridiculous was when I was at junior school. I joined the choir because it was held during lunch breaks and it meant I had something to do as I didn't really have many friends. We were told on joining that we couldn't leave, which was fine by me. I enjoyed being part of a community. A few more people from my year joined over time, then got bored and wanted their lunch breaks back and started to kick back against the "no leave" rule. I wasn't really friends with them so paid no attention, I wanted to stay. Then there was choir-gate where the teacher stopped rehearsals one day to say that she knew that people wanted to leave and if they wanted to go this was their one chance. A few people left. I stayed. She then turned to me and asked why I was still there as I was the person that had instigated it. I was gobsmacked.

My neighbour-at-the-back had someone shoot in one of her windows with a pellet gun, showering her newborn with glass.

Understandably upsetting, but next morning she confronted me at school drop off - right in front of the gate - shouting that the police had told her the shooting HAD to have come from my house. The more I denied it, the more I blushed guiltily, and the angrier she got. In the end she yelled that her husband would be round to see me later.

Her husband never turned up. Nor did the police. She never talked to me again.

I had a notification to say there was a suspicion to say my essay had been plagiarised. I was shocked. I have never and would never plagiarise, what would be the point? I was at uni to learn not to copy and paste.

Lying about the job I do - it isn’t even a fanciful or unusual job 🤷🏻‍♀️ it’s a well known job, lots of people do it 🤣

but my SIL is batshit tbh

Taking a swing at a woman, missing her because she dodged it, but somehow hitting a man three times in succession. Apparently she knew enough to evade me, to the point that she anticipated a punch before it even came, but he just stood there for three punches. 🙄
Oh, then I supposedly threatened to come back to kill her. She was a complete stranger I encountered in a public place, so I had no way to find her even if I had wanted to. Yet she told the cops she was petrified I'd somehow find her and kill her.
L.u.n.a.t.i.c.
What really happened was I called her a bitch, and damn, was I ever right about that.

My mother regularly blames me (accuses me?) of being the reason her marriage to my father ended.

How did I manage that? By having the utter NERVE to get married at the age of 21. By doing so, I made my father 'feel old' (he was 42) and that led him to have the affair with the other woman he left my mother for.

She conveniently forgets/ignores the little fact that my father was unfaithful to her more or less constantly during their 23 year marriage, and was obviously waiting for my younger brother to turn 18 before he left ... which happened less than 6 months before my wedding.

Nope, according to my mother, it's all my fault. Got to love have a narcs for parents!

I was once accused of I don't know what exactly. I used to provide respite to families with disabled children. I would take children out for a few hours so the parents could do something else. On one occasion, while out for a walk with a nonverbal child, their classroom worker spotted them and came over to chat for a few minutes. I'd never met this person before in my life but it was clear he knew the child. The next day I got brought into the office and given a warning and then questioned. Apparently a friend of the family had told the mother that she had seen her child out with me and my "boyfriend" (the classroom worker. I didn't have a boyfriend). Then she saw me again when leaving the park and that I drove left instead of turning right towards the child's home (which was true, I had got petrol from the station 10 seconds down the road from the park). They wanted to know if I had been taking children to my home!

Now I understand it is hard to trust other people with your child, especially when they can't speak for themselves, but OMG it is fucking terrifying to be accused of unprofessionalism around vulnerable children. I was able to prove the petrol thing with the receipt, and I assume the family checked with the classroom assistant because they accepted my explanation of the event and were fine with me returning, but I point blank refused to go back to that family. The trust was gone as far as I was concerned.

Reading through this, there are a few that j share like being accused of racism as a teacher but oddly much more minor ones are jumping out at me.

I was a really quiet, well-behaved kid and was at some kind of funfair / kids theme park and had been in line for a really long time waiting to go on a ride of some kind. As far as I knew, I was alone in the queue while my parents were waiting nearby for me.

Some kids started jumping the line and someone called the attendant who came over. The pusher inner said it was me and the ride attendant told me I had to go to the back. I tried in my really quiet voice to argue but they wouldn't listen and just believed the kid who had spoken first.

I burst into tears and as I turned around to leave my dads arms were on my shoulders pushing me back and told the man I hadn't pushed in in this really calm but angry voice. The attendant just shrugged, let me stay in line and walked off. I remember it because my dad was a very cold and distant parent but that day it was like he was a superhero who appeared out of nowhere. It was also the first time I'd experienced the injustice of being blamed for something I didn't do without an option to defend myself.

Distributing porn at work. Found innocent at the disciplinary, on account of not having distributed porn at work. Still bitter they thought I would have been that stupid.

Accused of using witchcraft on him by my DF. I was 16. Not casting spells but of manipulating. Turns out I have some mental health (diagnosed) and (possible undiagnosed) ND. Very religious parents, think Duggar family style Christianity minus the huge family kind of thing.

Accused of faking my sexual abuse/mental breakdowns/M.E. For attention (by my DF)

Accused of accusing my DF of sexual abuse . I was 5 and misunderstood something he said. My dad had a weird way of using discipline by threatening bizarre things and one evening he said he would touch me in a private place. My DF never ever molested me. But some how I got mixed up and my mind and stupidly blurted it out to someone at school. Cue lots of interviews with SS and physical exams by police doctor. DF never quite surprsingly Not surprisingly . There was some sexual abuse that did happen but not from him. I'm sorry, DF. I truly didn't know what I was saying.

Bullying. At school. Sometimes I did do it (no I'm very ashamed of it, I'm not excusing or defending it in any way).

I was accused of stealing two umbrellas in torrential rain from our rivals by a dippy parent at matchday.

I half thought the accuser was going to snatch them from my hands lol I stayed calm repeating, no these are my umbrellas, and held them firm, only for her to come back an hour later and confirm they own the exact same umbrellas which her DH left at home 🙄😳😬

Very strange encounter (not to mention entitled!).

I'm a family solicitor. Was acting for lovely lady and we were trying to ex out of the family home. She had one child and was heavily pregnant. He refused so the court listed it for a hearing at about 4 weeks in the future
I asked him why he was doing this. Surely he'd want his daughter and heavily pregnant wife to be safe and in their own home.
He told me the only way he was leaving was if the government gave him a similar house to where she was living (hers was owned).
I told
Him the government weren't giving him anything and if he wanted a house he needed to get a job and pay for one.
He accused me of being racist and at every hearing thereafter would scream at me that I was racist

Went to shell island with the kids one year. Just walked into the bar area and the boss comes over to me and says you've been swearing at the kids, behave yourself or your out. It's not acceptable. I told him he had the wrong person and I had literally just walked in. He was adamant it was me. It bloody wasn't. I was so incensed.

Of planning to be a 'professional groupie' because I was interested in studying A level music. Strange mother I am low contact with

I knew a woman who had 9 children

She was the type to just want attention all the time and if she had no drama going in,she'd invent it

She was also a nasty spiteful bitch who was bringing her girls up to be the same (Oddly the boys seemed ok)

She fell pregnant with no 7 and very sadly,he was born too early and only lived for about an hour

I wouldn't wish that on any woman-it must be awful

I would say hello to her on the primary school run but that was about it,until one day she saw me,burst into tears and ran away

I just assumed she was having a bad day but didn't know her well enough to ask,so I left it until later the same day,some woman came out of nowhere in the street and started screaming at me for saying 'I'm glad your baby is dead!you didn't deserve him as your a shite mother!you most likely murdered him!' to her

I'd never even thought anything like that,let alone say it-it hadn't entered my head

It shot round school,people shunning me and spreading this bollocks about

Then dd came home in floods of tears-her two dds had been following her around the playground saying that dd had been saying what their mother had said I'd said

I was fuming and went to see the teacher,who told me that the girls had learned that if they saw any tiny slight in anyone,they just repeated what they'd heard their mother say-she encouraged them to do it-dd was about the 5/6th child they'd done it to

It was shut down immediately with the girls made to apologise to dd (didn't stop them carrying on with other children,through secondary school and beyond-ive heard they are still at it)

What I fucking evil thing to do-nobody in their right mind would say they where glad a baby was dead

She's still at it,15 years on-she just gets it in her head she doesn't like you and it's all 'you said this about my dead baby!' and people are left to defend themselves (thankfully its wearing a bit thin now)

Many decades ago while home from uni, my DM borrowed a coat of mine to nip to the shops. In a pocket was a Marxist Society leaflet that had been thrust at me when going for lunch at the student Union.

OMG! They absolutely refused to believe that I had absolutely zero interest, I’d just stuck it in my pocket. I had been ‘got at’! Nothing I said had any effect. My DF (parents were true-blue Tories) actually said that if I’d turned communist, I would no longer be welcome in their house.

I had generally got on pretty well with them, so it was really OTT. (Not that they actually kicked me out.)
Some years later, during a minor row, they said I had never talked to them.

Was that surprising, said I, when they never bloody LISTENED? I threw the Marxist incident back at them, and they did have the grace to admit that they’d been wrong.

So she tried to ruin your wedding? My sister also insulted me on.my wedding day several times. Because she didn't like attention on me for one day.

XH accused me of throwing rubbish from our bin all over the road. The crows had gotten into the bin. Hes accused me of few things over the years, but i can't fathom why this would ever occur to him as an explanation for the rubbish being everywhere.

Being a witch! Basically i was a teenager who liked Marilyn Manson and Nirvana and such, so a group of girls decided o was a witch or devil worshipper.

If they were trying to bully me, it didn’t work because I thought it was hilarious and played it up. One time they sent me a note so I very loudly whispered to my friend I was glad to have a sample of their handwriting that I could put in a poppet. They were begging me for it back 😂

I blame The Craft, which was very popular with teens at the time!

My boss insinuated I was drinking her coffee. I have a pot of coffee granules next to hers on the shelf, which I use. I feel the need to make a big show of dramatically waving mine around as I make a coffee if she’s anywhere near. Very odd.

This will go down well......

I was accused of racism.

The cashier was at lunch and another receptionist told a lady to come back at 2pm.

In the meantime the cashier (also our manager) decided that she needed to review the other receptionist at 2pm. I did ask what about the lady when she comes back? Well she will have to wait was the reply.

So the lady comes back and I say I am sorry but she is doing a review. She asked me for a form. I said we did not have any at reception (to do with the cashier). She then went off alarmingly at me and accused me of racism. Going on about slavery and what have you.

I explained that they had decided between them to suddenly do this review. Nothing to do with me!!!

Eventually, she went to the cashier when the other receptionist came back and must have realised that I had told the truth and was not deliberately stopping her from seeing the cashier. She must have then realised I wasn't saying no you cannot see her but not at the moment. I was flabbergasted!!!

Thanks to everyone for contributing. What a strange world we live in ❤

I had a friend who got detention for not doing her Geography homework. She said that was entirely my fault because I’d done such a good job on mine that I’d shown her up.

Stealing bricks from a building site
Dbro moved into a new build and I was leaving the estate around 10 at night after visiting him and my way was blocked by a Police car with the lights on and another Police car pulled up as well. They jumped out and accused (40 year old housewife in a small car) me of stealing from a "building site". I explained what I was doing but they said nobody had moved in yet and there were reports of people stealing bricks. I had to take them back to my brothers house before they believed me and he still takes the piss now!
Funny, unlike some of the awful things on here

I was about six and my mother accused me of opening the foil packet of two biscuits I'd been given for my playtime snack, looking at them and then throwing them onto the road in disgust.

I did absolutely no such thing and to this day I don't know what she thought she saw me do, but it wasn't that. I've been accused of doing other stuff in the past but I've shrugged all that off - my mother accusing me of basically shitting on her parenting is a mystery.