Daugher not happy with gift we gave her

[jouxlake]

We bought our daughter an expensive jewellery gift for her birthday, she chose it, it was plus GBP1,000. She chose it, she apparently loved it, tonight she messaged me and said 'I don't like it, can we return it'. which I know is not an option. Turns out her boyfriend said he didn't like it, prefers the next up design which is double the price. I am livid at how impressionable she is, livid at him for undermining a gift from her parents. But overall, I am fucking so upset and really gutted that she had no appreciation for what gifted her.

And your point is???

Just to play devil's advocate:
mum gives daighter an expensive piece of jewellry daughter chose and loves. Shows it to boyfriend who shoots it down thereby deflating daughter and driving wedge between her and her mother.
seems power and control are at play here.

Yes, basically.
Fucking "boyfriend" would have zero influence on me in my twenties, re such gift from parents/grandma.
He'd most likely go to hell next day 😁

How long has it been since you remonstrated with her? Maybe she'll come to her senses after a few hours and apologize? I do hope so. You must feel so sad.

keep the necklace and sell the daughter

😂

I do love her though .

I would be keeping it for myself and leave her with nothing. Ungrateful little madam.

"Let her sit through her discomfort" Maybe contribute to something worthwhile.
Medicin Sans Frontier possibly?
Ghastly, entitled people.

This. The boyfriend can add the extra for the upgrade. How rude

I’d be having a conversation with her. She chose it, presumably she is aware of the cost. £1K for a birthday is a good amount. It’s only her bf mentioning it that’s made her say anything.

From a parent who spends a fortune on one item of jewellery for a 20 year old. Apple, tree???

Spending £1000 on a 20th birthday present is most definitely overindulging!

Where did the OP say it was a bracelet?

Oh OP I’d be hurt too. It was a valuable and thoughtful gift that you thought would hold a lot of sentiment. Let her brew on it. This generation have a habit of being entitled and ungrateful. Social media lets them believe they can have everything no matter the cost.

My son wanted a particular vintage watch for his 21st birthday . He searched high and low. Finally three months after his birthday he found one. That was £1k. His girlfriend, partner had zero say in his choice. He has no say in her choice of jewellery either.

I think this young man is just in the designer label phase. He'll hopefully grow out of it, because it's a crock for the most part.

She and her sister organised a fundraiser for MSF which raised over 5k in their school, they both did it off their own backs as we have a very close family member who is a doctor for MSF, we have friends and family who are very entrenched in working for NGO's, her close first cousin works on behalf of Chinese dissidents, she understands how privileged their lives are, we are exposed to this more than most.

This is not about her taking life for granted, it's about her taking her parents for granted.

Just ask her to give it back if she doesn't like it. Get her something cheap (but thoughtful) next time, or that's what you tell her. Don't buy any more expensive gifts.

Get the necklace back and gift her a box of chocolates. Lessons need to be learned and ingrates punished.

Sounds like a pressure twatty comment from her boyfriend.

Wonder if he told her to text and say can she exchange it when she actually loves it

Does she know you definitely can’t get a refund? Because if she changed her mind about the style and realised she was never going to wear it, I think was sensible to ask if she could exchange it while it was still in the return period. You don’t want to spend £1,000 knowing you’re not going to wear it. However, it would have to be worded very nicely!

However, if it was already personalised etc, that’s obviously different.

What did the boyfriend buy her for this special birthday ?

as I guess it was an expensive ' designer ' item - of her choice ? or his choice.

Tell the little shit that if he can't afford to buy your dd an expensive piece of jewellery then he's not good enough for your dd. He can fuck off; turn the tables round on the little scrote pronto.

I think we could possibly get a credit, which is pretty useless at the end of the day.

The reality, is she said she loved it before we bought it and for 48 hours after we bought it she still loved it. She only wanted to return it after her boyfriend said the other one was nicer, which happened to be double the price , and which is too expensive for us.

she is still n her room, not come out out for dinner, I think she realises she has totally screwed up;.

Call their bluff and say you'll return the item, get the credit note but you'll expect them to make up the difference towards the more expensive piece.

I think it is going to come back at her from all sides, we are so upset and hurt and I think he will be really pissed off that she told us his views on our gift to her.