Not invited to stepdaughter's wedding

[Chewitally]

I've been with her Dad for over ten years. Her mum's partner is invited.

We don't have a good relationship for reasons irrelevant to this but I never thought she would stoop so low as to not invite me to her wedding.

What? He would choose you over seeing his daughter getting married?

Well, I guess she won’t be seeing him again either.

You sound very unpleasant OP, perhaps that has more to do with it than you think.

But she doesn't respect you, and she doesn't have to. Why do you think you are entitled to her respect? Her father chose you, not her.

Maybe she likes him…

No idea y u think someone who doesn’t like u would invite u to their wedding.

You were her mums friend when she was growing up.
Her parents split and she had to cope with that.
Your response, instead of supporting her mum, was to get together with her dad.
She’ll have had to pick up those pieces as a result.
She’ll have had years of having to see how betrayed & hurt her mum was.
….and you wonder why she doesn’t want to invite you to her wedding where her mum will be, a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for her mum to enjoy being mother of the bride.

Sorry but you have the emotional intelligence of a squeegee.

I'm not surprised you are not invited.

Because it's not about you. It's about him seeing his dd get married

You sounds absolutely vile. I wouldn't want you anywhere near my wedding.

Whether you are happy about it or not is really neither here nor there. It's his daughter's wedding day and so what matters is her happiness, not yours.

She doesn't have to respect you either. Respect is earned.

He should still go to his daughter's wedding, even though you haven't been invited. Daughter trumps partner I'm afraid. He should gently tell her (soon, not on the day!) that he is upset you are not invited and suggest it's time to move on. But it's the daughter's day, not yours or his and if she and her mum would be uncomfortable with you there, you should bow out gracefully.

If your husband does not go to his daughter's wedding then he is an absolute arsehole. If you don't tell him that he MUST go and put a massive smile on his face then you are also an absolute arsehole.

Grow up!!! She doesn't need to like you or have you at her wedding but she does need her dad to be there. Be the bigger person.

Sorry but you have the emotional intelligence of a squeegee.
@FoxLoxInSox

The very fact you’d expect him to miss his own daughter’s wedding for your sake is perhaps the very reason she doesn’t want you there in the first place. It’s her day don’t make it all about you. A decent stepmum would be encouraging a Dad to be at his daughter’s big day.

I don't think you did anything wrong dating your partner under the circumstances described (unless you were a confidante to your ex-friend being treated badly by your partner).

You would be a massive asshole if you do anything other than tell your partner he absolutely must attend his daughter's wedding, even though you're not invited, and wish your step-daughter a lovely day.

It is not your step-daughter's fault she is caught in the middle of her parents messy break-up, and she deserves a drama-free wedding as much as anyone (more so really given how much drama she's had to deal with at other times).

It's time to grow up op and realise this day is not in anyway about you

The daughter isn't under the control of her mum: she has loyalty to her mum over you.

I've been to loads of wedding (and sadly funerals) without my DH. We exist as people without each other, and I don't need him by my side to be a valid person.

Finally, you had a friend who was complaining to you about her husband....and you thought it would be a good idea to get into a relationship with him? How did you know he wasn't all the things she said? How did you manage to disbelieve your "friend" and believe her husband to the extent of sleeping with him and entering into a 10 year relationship with him?

You're really not coming off well here.

Edited to add that if the bride's dad would rather skip her wedding than not go without you, frankly I can see what the mum was complaining to you about all those years ago. Maybe you should indeed both stay home.

Frankly that makes him a dreadful parent

For you to seem happy your partner's not going, speaks volumes. And not in a good way.

It's reasonable for you to feel hurt and left out.
It's horrific for her dad to decline her wedding invite.

If either of you have any decency, he'd be going, for the sake of his daughter.

Given you don't know the societal expectations to not shag your friends ex I find it ironic you want her daughter to play nice?

Or is the real issue you have told a pack of lies and this means you will lose face?

Your comment on her father choosing his partner over his daughter is just sad but not surprising given his choice of his ex's friend🤷‍♀️

I was not the OW, but my husband’s ex hates me.

When my DH’s kids get married, I don’t expect them to invite me, because I know their mother would make a scene. I will absolutely insist that DH attends. Because I think it is very important that he prioritises his relationship with his children!

Somebody doesn’t understand girl code 😂

Anyone would be pissed. You and her dad fucked her mum over. If you had anything about you, you’d recognise his daughter is still in pain (rather than just being “pathetic”) and encourage him to go to the wedding alone to protect the father-daughter relationship.

I don’t hold out much hope of you doing that though because you don’t sound like a particularly caring or empathetic person.

You don't date your friends ex. Everyone knows that.

Absolutely disgraceful if her dad doesn't go to the wedding.

Yikes. This is the epitome of breaking girl code. Getting together with your friends ex-husband?! 😬

Her (adult!) daughter is not under her mothers control, she rightly thinks that what you and her dad have done is icky. Which it is. It’s up to her who she invites and she doesn’t want you there. You can either make a huge stink about this and ruin her wedding day or just accept this is how it is and move on.

Presumably she gets on with her stepdad?

My husband just went to a wedding without me last month.
This is his daughter we are talking about. It shouldn't even be question as to whether he goes or not. The majority of people have told you you're in the wrong and yet you still fail to see why. If this post was purely to get people to help you slag of your step daughter then it has massively backfired. If you actually wanted help and advice you need to come off your high horse