Not invited to stepdaughter's wedding

[Chewitally]

I've been with her Dad for over ten years. Her mum's partner is invited.

We don't have a good relationship for reasons irrelevant to this but I never thought she would stoop so low as to not invite me to her wedding.

It’s the right thing to do.

That's really sad that he wouldn't support his daughter on her big day

Very noble of you.

So, did it go something like this:
Dave and Sue and Ted and Denise you). In and out of each others houses, kids played together, days out together, barbecue on a Sunday. Dave and Sue were like auntie and uncle to little Ted and Denise and vice versa.

Then one day Ted and Sue get divorced, Sue cries on your shoulder, tells you what an arse Ted is, you console her and pour you both more wine. Then, 5 minutes later you leave Dave and shack up with Ted?

Everyone sides with Sue while Denise gets lots of side eye. You feel like you've done nothing wrong but everybody else (Mumsnet included) think you've done the dirty on Sue. You don't think that's true and Dave was a free agent (even though he's your best friend's friend ex).

You now want to be invited to a wedding so you can refuse to go? I'm not quite sure where your principles are?

Let it go but let Dave go to the wedding. Dave's DD deserves to have her dad there without you stirring up the pot with your principles.

You sound utterly pathetic & bitter. Your comment about your partner putting you first is honestly beyond me, I would put my child first before anyone, as my parents would for me.

Omg you're still going on............... oil step mother alert.... oh it's all about me me me

SheilaWilde · Today 23:11
Very possible!

What’s changed your tune?

Does he want to go? I thought he didn’t want to go without you?

None of this makes any sense.

I must say, if this is trolling, it's top-grade.

It would be good if you could be the bigger person and ask her dad to go without you. It’s clear attending wouldn't bring you any pleasure anyway. From what you’ve said there are lots of unresolved issues so there would be scope for a scene - not desirable at a wedding!

However if you can’t loosen your grip on the “principle” of your invitation I expect her dad will miss out and their relationship will be further soured. People are way past the days of inviting wedding guests for appearances sake - too expensive, too much aggro. It’s not realistic to expect an invite when you’ve no actual relationship, while she does have one with the stepdad, so there is no real equivalency there.

Honestly book a lovely spa day and leave them to it. It doesn’t sound like this situation will be resolved and it’s not worth it. I don’t agree with the comments saying you are unlikeable, I can understand why this is an issue for you but for the sake of one day I’d try and walk away from it all. It’s their decision and if they want to be that way then fine.

I wonder who the op and her partner are planning to spend Xmas with? Looking forward to the next installment
"Not invited to stepdaughters for Xmas" thread

Because she gets on with him/likes him etc.

Sorry but just being dad's partner isn't a guaranteed invite to anything.

By the sound of the later posts, it'll also be "not invited to children's for Xmas"! OP and her boyfriend seem to have done a fine job alienating everyone in their families.

Nah, it'll be a 'not invited to stand down the business end of proceedings whilst stepdaughter births twins but her cunt mother is' thread.

Fortunately the stepdaughter already has kids, so we'll be spared that (or possibly it's already lurking in the depths of MN history). 😆

😮😮

Is he agreeing to this?

If so then the pair of you are vile.

I'm willing to lay bets you've told him he can't go if you're not invited - and what's the betting he's also paying for some of it which is also making you smart a bit.

It's just nasty. I wouldn't want you there with your obvious attitude and entitlement.

Younger generations see it as breaking the girl code to date your friend's ex, don't they?

I would be peed off too if I was in your position, but I think I would be able to suck it up and do something else on the day of the wedding.

He doesn't need your permission. This is his CHILD. If he can't put her first for her wedding, he's a terrible father.

You and she do not get on. There's absolutely no reason to invite you to the wedding when you and she clearly cannot stand one another.

Sorry but I usually stand firmly on the side of you don’t go to a wedding if your partner hasn’t been invited but your own CHILD comes first.

We didn’t invite DH’s dad’s partner (of 20 years!) because the woman is a knob and it would have caused massive upset on the day. His Dad still came without a fuss.

The fact she hasn’t asked him to walk her down the aisle is very telling imo.

Crumbs you sound incredibly bitter and angry.

So your DD has been invited and is happy to go?

You want to be invited as a matter of principle so that you can then say no?

Why should she invite you if you don’t have a pleasant relationship with her?

It would be interesting to get bride to be side of the story.

Thickos 😂😂😂

Very glad that you and the OP are in the colossal minority.