Not invited to stepdaughter's wedding

[Chewitally]

I've been with her Dad for over ten years. Her mum's partner is invited.

We don't have a good relationship for reasons irrelevant to this but I never thought she would stoop so low as to not invite me to her wedding.

Do you not trust your boyfriend to go on his own, or something?

So you think your husband’s daughter has “stooped so low” for not inviting you to her wedding.

But also, your husband’s daughter has an “untrue version of events” about your relationship.

WHY ON EARTH would you want to be invited to someone’s wedding who has an “untrue” version of events about you?

I don’t get it.

What, so nobody goes with your version? All these people, at least some of whom must have seen this as it happened, have been fooled? You and your boyfriend are just poor innocents and never did anything to cause the ugly relationship with the girl who's now grown up and getting married?

Even if this is true, why the hell do you want to go to the wedding? It's just shit-stirring, isn't it. Petty vengefulness.

Why would he be walking her down the aisle to give her away? It sounds like he's already given up on her

You sound vile OP, and so does your partner. Refusing to go to his own daughter’s wedding because the girlfriend threw a strop? Yuck. And FYI, refusing your DP’s monetary contribution wasn’t ungrateful or petty. She doesn’t want either of you near her or involved at all. Maybe you should reflect on that.

When the stepfather is going. The stepfathers children are even going.

My, this is going to be quite the society event, isn't it? Sounds like everyone in town has been invited except you.

It should give your husband some comfort therefore, to know you'll hardly be missed whilst you sit sulking at home and he sits beside you, holding your hand and mopping your sulky brow.

Poor you x

But why would your kids listen to them over and above their own mother's glowing opinion of your bf or their own experience of his greatness? You don't seem to think much of the critical thinking abilities of your own children!

I’ve also got a SD who is controlled by her mother and has nothing to do with me. I was not the OW or a friend of the ex. I haven’t seen SD for many years because I realised that the most important thing is that DH sees his DD and keeps in contact with her. I don’t need to be involved so I stepped away from her over ten years ago so that DH can have a relationship with her. I’m quite relieved that I won’t be going to any future weddings or other family events with SD and DH’s ex!

@Chewitally you need to detach emotionally from the situation. Why on earth would you want to be at the wedding of someone who hates you? Let your DH go on his own. Maybe he could just attend the ceremony on his own and not stay for the party as a compromise.

I’m not sure what’s so difficult to understand. You broke the girl code! Your job was to be her mum’s best friend, but instead you shagged her dad. You did a number on her mum and she owes you no loyalty at all. The fact that you think she can’t come to this conclusion by herself does suggest that you see her as stupid and an impressionable child, when she’s clearly a grown woman and with admirable morals. A valuable trait.

It's odd that they wouldn't believe you (their mother) in preference to their friend and her mother, isn't it?

Nothing that says you ‘should’ be there. It would be a bit infra dig to exclude you if you and her father were married, but you’re not and you don’t get on anyway! How on earth do you imagine the day will go? You could always turn up anyway, with a magic wand and a curse … or is that only when you’re not invited to a christening?

I wouldn't trust him on past experience!

If it werent for the ages and the fact its a wedding, I would wonder if it was....yah know......🍍Sounds like the shit she would come out with!

I dont WANT to go

But I should be invited it's the principle of the thing

If invited I might have said no anyway but it's the principle

LOL

The OP just wants to be there to make a point, it seems to me. I cannot understand why you would want to do that when it's clear nobody wants you there and nobody likes you. I suspect the OP has told her boyfriend that he won't be going without her. The OP needs a long period of self reflection IMO.

@Chewitally Listen, I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that my family would never believe someone's lies about me, especially if I was telling them that it was all lies.

I find it bizarre that your own DD would take someone else's word over the word of her own mother. I think that speaks to something dysfunctional in your relationship with her, to be honest.

What's your relationship like with your other children?

There’s nobody less deserving of an invitation.

Sorry OP, but this is the post that confirms it.

You’re deluded.

You really need to get a life.

Imagine getting worked up about a wedding you don’t even want to go to.

Absolutely pathetic behaviour.

WTF? I've never heard such entitlement. You are deluded!

I was 100% not and never the OW

But our two families were very close and even though we were divorced long before we got together the children could not accept it for that reason

All this “it’s 10 years ffs”…. Let’s see if you’re over this in 10 years!!! 😂

Read the room. You’re wrong.

Why do you deserve respect from your SD and her Mum after what you did? You being there would spur the day. You have to see that.

It’s not a crime to get with a friends ex, but it’s not respectful and you can’t expect everything to be rosy.

Also you and your partner are both shit parents if you both put eachother before your kids. Kids come first. Or this is the result.

I didn't think you could possibly make yourself sound any worse, but by jove, you've managed it.