Not invited to stepdaughter's wedding

[Chewitally]

I've been with her Dad for over ten years. Her mum's partner is invited.

We don't have a good relationship for reasons irrelevant to this but I never thought she would stoop so low as to not invite me to her wedding.

Did you miss where the OP said her Stepdaughter was awful to her partner?

Given what else OP has said about the bride (who isn't her stepdaughter, there's nothing to suggest any such relationship) and the bride's mother, I'd take that with a whole shaker of salt.

Yes, i really would be happy. I would encourage it. And I'm saying this in full knowledge that I might be in your shoes on future

In this scenario yes. It's his daughter's wedding, he should be there.
She doesn't want you there. I'm sure it's hurtful but that's by the by.

The grown up postion for you to take would be to encourage him to attend on his own and do it with a smile on your face so that he doesn't feel bad for attending his daughters wedding.

Sorry but real friends don't get into relationships with ex's.

And that's incredibly sad. It sounds like an awful situation for everyone. I'm sorry that you think the OP isn't entitled to even a shred of kindness or civility. I haven't walked a mile in her shoes and I'm not judging her. It's not my place to do so. I'm sorry too for the hurt that the stepdaughter and her Mum have suffered. I think this thread is a really sad one because I think it's essentially a pile on and maybe people could remember that the OP is a person and maybe having a bit of compassion for her. We don't know the ins and outs and the reality of the situation. People just seem to want to heap cruelty and spite and nasty comments.

I haven't got the energy to go into everything SD has ever dome but trust me she is not a Saint

Among other things she used my dog as an excuse to not come over to see her dad for years. Then after the dog died it was something else when obviously the reason is me. It's truly pathetic.

She is in her mothers pocket so I know it will never be any different but Im her dad's partner and its rude of her to have not invited me and I stand by that

Sorry but we were both single and the mother was ALREADY in a new relationship anyway . I do not see the big deal and never have done

Yes her mother had spoken to me about the divorce as like I say we were friends but I didnt know him that well then.

So why OP have you posted this thread .
It doesn’t seem like you are interested in the opinions of others

And I've been closer to the bride's situation wrt to my parents, and find OP's attitude and history (as she has described it, not anyone else) completely unacceptable.

Out of respect to her dad?! Is he paying for any it but expected to go without his wife? Having said that, I can't stand dh's daughter and would be delighted not to be invited.

Oh yes and to give another example of the pettiness he offered a contribution but she refused it

So you want to go to her wedding because...?

So what?

It's generally sensible to refuse such an offer if it comes with strings attached.

I'm sorry to hear that and I'm sorry that you are still angry. I hope you are able to move past how this has impacted you.

Because I am her dad's partner and should be there as his partner!!!! And why should he go alone!!! When the stepfather is going. The stepfathers children are even going.

She doesn't respect you or like you, why is your non-invite a surprise? You are a minority in thinking this is unacceptable. You have no automatic consideration, right or expectation to be there just because you shacked up with her dad. Were you expecting a red carpet leading to the top table too?

That sucks, sorry it’s happened to you, however I really think your partner should go, and you should be adult about the situation and realise how important it is for her dad to attend her wedding- him not attending will only give them ammunition.

rise above it, book a day out and leave them to it.

I think it’s shortsighted of her not to invite you. There will be no chance of a relationship moving forward and there may come a time when she wishes there could be.
But I think it would be shortsighted of you not to encourage your partner to go. It would be gracious and leave you with a clean conscious.

I think you’ve answered your own question there. You used to be friends with her mother. Her mother will be attending the wedding of her daughter and has probably said she doesn’t want you to go. So you are not on the list.

Accept it is the brides choice and find another way to enjoy your day. Maybe a short holiday with a friend.

Perhaps mumsnpartner is going because she actually gets on with him. You say you don’t get on so why would she want you there and why would you want to go? Being married to her father doesn’t mean she has to invite someone who quite possibly gave her crappy memories

Your partner sounds like my dad, spineless, clueless, out of touch, puts (whatever) girlfriend first, thinks he's a hero for offering money , generally a total waste of space
Ps I wouldn't have invited either of you

It sounds like she just doesn't like you and given your belligerent tone, I can see why. She obviously likes her mother's partner and that's why she's invited him.

OP you are making this wedding all about you.

your boyfriend sounds awful. Will he really miss his own daughter’s wedding just because you believe you have a right to the wedding of a person you dislike and who dislikes you?

he is a crap dad if he misses this because of you.

Shoe on the other foot, if YOUR child didn't invite your partner to their wedding would you seriously choose to miss it completely to passify your partner?! I most certainly wouldn't, just as I would never expect my partner to miss his child's wedding. I would judge any parent missing their kids wedding in these circumstances. To not go is petty and something that he will come to resent you for.