Not invited to stepdaughter's wedding

[Chewitally]

I've been with her Dad for over ten years. Her mum's partner is invited.

We don't have a good relationship for reasons irrelevant to this but I never thought she would stoop so low as to not invite me to her wedding.

I mean, shagging your friend’s ex is a bit grubby TBH

Because you are nothing to do with her. She didn’t ask for you to be in her life and you don’t get on. She obviously feels differently about her mother’s partner.

Your boyfriend should go to his daughter's wedding with or without you. You and your boyfriend are going to cause a horrible rift that you will all never get over.

Quite honestly, if your boyfriend does not go because you, his girlfriend, doesn't like his daughter and didn't get an invite I would certainly be rethinking how I felt about him. You and this current boyfriend need to take a step back and rethink this before you cause irreparable damage.

Surely he wants to go because she is his daughter? It’s sad he puts you first and not his daughter, that isn’t how it should be.

I’ve just read all your posts. You are awful, truly.
A decent person would want their partner to attend their child’s wedding. It’s utterly despicable of you to encourage him not go.
THATS HIS DAUGHTER!! For fucks sake!
YOU, and your controlling behaviour will be the reason he doesn’t get to walk his daughter down the aisle. And believe you me, he will harbour resentment towards about that in the years to come. You’ve just signed the death warrant to your relationship.
which is probably best for all concerned. It’s disgusting that you started sleeping with your “friends” ex husband. I find that beyond repulsive.
your behaviour, your attitude towards your ex friend and your attitude about the wedding and your boyfriends lack of attendance is completely despicable

Also, she’s not your step daughter. You’re just her dad’s girlfriend. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I think people are being unfair to the OP.

Obviously we don't know the complete ins and outs of OP and Stepdaughters relationship.

Going by only what's been said . . . If Stepdaughter's holding a grudge only because OP used to be friends with her mum and is not inviting OP only on that basis. Then I think Stepdaughters being a twat, and it's not unreasonable for her dad not to want to cater to that since (as she's getting married) she's obviously a fully grown adult!

@Chewitally look, at least she is getting married. It must have been hard for her to decide to get married at all, especially worrying about how all the parents/step-parents would act on the day. I know people who have dealt with this fear by never getting married.

I would suggest you just let her Dad put her first for the day and let him go without you. It's her day.

💯

ETA This might enable the daughter to stop wasting any more time on her father.

OP, you're never going to win as a second wife in this position. This won't be the first time that this will happen, either.

Encourage your husband to go to the wedding. Organise something nice for yourself that day.

OP give him your blessing to go alone. Book yourself the most marvellous spa day imaginable. Dodge unbelievable stress. Play the long game for when she starts looking for childcare!!

You should be putting your kids first. That's why he should want to go to her wedding even if you're not there.

But you've got what you wanted. He's chosen you over his daughter. Why aren't you happy?

I understand it’s upsetting that you’re not invited but I would be encouraging him to go. He shouldn’t miss his daughter’s wedding and it would only cause a bigger issue if she feels you’re stopping him.
Is there any chance you two could talk and try clear the air or is it too late for that?

God I can see why the daughter doesn’t want you there OP. I hope she gets married and lives happily ever after very far away from you and her father.

Perhaps she gets on with mum's partner.

What does her dad say about it, is he contributing to the wedding?

I could think of a few easily but the fact that your DH won't be going without you says all that needs to be said and highlights why you aren't invited. Thread could end there really 🤷‍♀️

I was still friends with her mum but then my partner and I got together and since then her mum has wanted nothing to do with me. My stepdaughter is under the control of her mother that is the issue.

Oh?!?

I'm team stepdaughter all the way.

YabVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVU..

HTH.

Actually this situation happened to my exH and his wife, he was friends with the whole family before they got together and now his step children who he was friends with don't speak to him and didn't invite him to their weddings. His wife went by herself.
I asked his wife's exhusband why the kids wanted nothing to do with him once and he said that they saw him as a family friend who had crossed a line and gave no thought to how much they were all hurting when they got together. I asked my exH if he thought it was a bit low and he replied with "you can't help who you fall in love with"......ahh well he always was a bit selfish......
Presumably you were a good friend to her when she was getting divorced and now the family feel betrayed.

Because his daughter should come before your salty attitude and feelings.

If he puts you above his child he's a shit dad and his daughter is better off without him.

Think you should encourage your DP without you. He can't miss his daughter's wedding.

He should be putting his daughter first, not his partner, no matter how long you've been together or how old his child is.

Put on your big girl pants, realise that this isn't about you and tell your partner to put his daughter ahead of you, as he should be doing without your blessing anyway. If my partner ever stood in the way of me attending one of my kids' weddings because they hadn't been invited I would break up with him, no matter how long we'd been together.

He shouldn't put you first, he should put his children first. So of course he should still go and if he didn't, then he'd be a terrible dad.

The mothers partner is going because they clearly get on better. I can't imagine I'd have been thrilled if someone who I thought was friends with my mother then ended up getting with my father after the divorce. 10 years ago or not, the length of time that's gone by doesn't matter.

But it's her wedding and she doesn't want the OP there. The duty invite is thankfully becoming a thing of the past.

If my stepdad had still been on the scene there's no way he'd have been invited to my wedding. I didn't invite anyone I didn't have a good relationship with.

She gets on with him but not you.

Gosh. It's quite with that comment why you're not invited.